Delhi's road etiquette.

I've spent pretty much my entire life in a third world city with all sorts of road traps and road shenanigans that have been building up this wall of anger that can never be torn down with love, but only with a bunch of bulldozers smashing into people's brains because they're STOOPID. Seriously, this is why India is losing tourists, this is why the rupee is depreciating, this is why people have bad impressions about Delhi. In fact, this is why you couldn't find your sock this morning and this is why they haven't discovered proper UFOs yet. These stupid Delhiites are the reason for any and every problem that humanity suffers from.

Disclaimer- I think I have a right to call Delhiites stupid because well, I'm a Delhiite as well. (Delhiite is such a funny word). Delhiiite. Del-hite. Delhi-ite. Kite. Dellkite. ANYWAY. I'm not calling all Delhiites stupid, but this is a blog entry based on years of experience and observation and analysis, so since I got the opportunity to really think about it, the people in this blog entry really are quite stupid. If you are one of these people, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to target you personally. I genuinely care about my city and I want to spread this awareness.

So please stop doing these things.

1) Pedestrians wearing earphones- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? LIKE, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I'm so sorry for yelling, but this is the number one thing that pisses me off about Delhiites. I know that we are a young generation. I know that music is 'hip'. I know that we all have ipods and phones. But why, why do you have to listen to Pitbull while you're wading your way across the road, and not just any road, an Indian road?!

You know what, even the slow cows that cross the roads here are more alert than you are, because they don't have some stupid song blasting through their eardrums as they move their udders across the territory! Please, stop listening to your music, it does not make you cool. I promise, if you listen to music anywhere else, anywhere other than this cluttered city road, we will all think you're hot and ask you to date us. Also, you will remain alive. So please stop wearing earphones, it's effing stupid. Just please. Stop.


2) EVE-TEASING- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, ARE YOU DELUSIONAL, DO YOU HAVE X-RAY VISION, DO YOU HAVE TOURETTES SYNDROME, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE MACHO? Trust me, if you have a beard and a lungi you are macho enough, you do not need to pick on the women walking around. I am sick of all the horrible cases on TV, I'm sick of sick, horny men, I'm sick of everything. Even if the women cover themselves up in duct tape, these men will continue to whistle or say anything inappropriate to them. I don't get it, do you think that makes you cool? Do you do the same to your wife/sister/mother? Are you stupid? No one wants to come to Delhi anymore because it has become India's number 1 rape capital. Isn't that great, we're number one at something, finally! -.-

Speaking of 'Number one'...


3) People urinating on the roadside-  Scene- it's a beautiful day on the Delhi-Gurgaon Expressway as vehicles glide peacefully over the smooth road. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the smell of samosas light the air, the trees are swaying gently, the man is peeing. THE MAN IS PEEING. Fresh, hot, yellow, liquid fertilization for the swaying trees as they grow taller and taller so the singing birds can sit on them and fly around the area. Suddenly everything is disgusting. FIND AN EFFING TOILET!


4) Honking at the red light signal- If you do this, you are probably color blind. If you aren't, you shouldn't be driving. Have you heard the song "STOP says the red light, GO says the green?" I'll sing it to you if you want, while we wait.

 I don't get it, there are a bunch of us in our cars, waiting for the red light to turn green, and suddenly this obnoxious car comes behind us and starts honking. What do you expect us to do, put green tinted sheet over the traffic signal and drive off putting our lives and law at stake? THE LIGHT IS RED. Please go back to elementary school if you didn't get that. If you think the light is green, why don't you drive ahead, kill yourself in an accident, and have green blood flow out of you? Ugh, stupid people.

Also, if you are honking to make the car ahead of you go a little farther while waiting for the light to turn green, you should calm down because you can't get past that traffic signal anyway till the light turns green. And don't you worry, unless you have a dying person in your car, I'm sure you will reach your destination without much more than a scratch or a broken heart or a salary cut, rather than the possible loss of your life.


5) People on bikes checking themselves out in the mirror- So while you are sitting in your car in the middle of a traffic jam, you decide to look out of the window ...and see a man trying to make a mohawk while staring at you. Little do you realize that your car window doubles as a portable mirror for everyone! Damn, you should probably start charging these people for such wonderful, portable cosmetic facilities!

When people do this to me while I'm in the car, I like to roll down my window and give them a nice stare in the face. They still might not stop though, my pupils are probably reflective enough to double as a mirror too!


6) Bikes without silencers- There are different types of loudness on a Delhi road. Some are tolerable and typical, like people talking or cars honking. But then there is one sound that thunders above all the rest, stealing the show, creating a crater in your eardrum. It's a normal bike sound multiplied by 50. Oh who said it is excess H2O that makes you drown? It is the excess sounds from a bike that makes you drown under the road. Instead of the siren sounds in ambulance, just make one of these bikes go in front of you, and they will steal the show, making everyone avoid it like the plague.


7) The paan-spitting- Ever noticed the side of a pavement or a wall? They normally are painted white or black or yellow or purple or any color. Then you notice some red patches, and you think "Wow, is this some new design?" Red patches on surfaces are usually caused due to the unending, inevitable, deadly, paan spitting. In any other part of the world, your teacher would probably berate you for spitting gum, or spitting spit, or spitting food. But do you do that in Delhi? HECK no.

All these people (I don't want to target anyone, but it's usually the autorickshaw drivers that do this) stop their rented flivvers or their flying carpets in the middle of the road, take a long, saliva-soaked breath in, and discharge a scuttle of paan-red spit that stains any and every surface it hits upon. THIS IS SO ANNOYING. Not only is it unmannerly, but it also destroys the natural or manmade beauty of things. Instead of spitting on the road, maybe you could spit in a sink nearby, or a dump, or a trashcan, or your own face. Better yet, don't even have paan, unless there is a sink nearby!


 So that's my list of grievances that has hopefully come to your attention. I think if more Delhi people will read this, at least we'll have less of these pesky annoyances. Though I doubt the autorickshaw drivers would be very interested in reading any of this, except the really interested ones. I'll probably just email this to the government then, and hope this all gets better before I'm dead :)

Much love (and road safety), 

The meaning of Year.

A few days ago when 2013 was ending, I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling very sentimental. I don't know about you, but for me, the end of a year doesn't always feel like a closure. Or a beginning, for that matter. It did when I was younger. In fact, till I was about 13, every year I would take this huge strip of paper and write WELCOME (insert year)!!! with dots and squiggles and lines and every color of the rainbow with stars and hearts and every shape imaginable. But as the years grew, I realized what a 'year' could be symbolic of. (so this is where my 'find-the-deeper-meaning' mania kicks in). 

So what exactly is a year? 

365 days? 366 if it's a leap year?

52 weeks?

One summer, long winter, an autumn, a spring, and possibly a monsoon?

A school year. August to June. Then June to August to June. 

Lifespan? If you die young, if you're a certain insect, if you're a druggie, if you're an oxygen-deprived newborn?

A few diseases, a few hesitant appointments to the dentist with the coughing old lady and the braces-adorned receptionist's teeth. 

A marriage. A relationship. A friendship. An affair. A crush. Struggle to get over someone. A long battle for divorce?

Battle for justice for someone who died. A new pizza place that eventually ran out of business.

Phases. Emotions. Happy phase, sad phase, longing phase, hyper phase, emotional phase, reflective phase.

An anniversary. Your 18th birthday. An artist's short-lived fame. An acronym that went viral.

A struggle. A war. A battle. An argument. A fear. 

Continuation of a habit. Continually trying to rid of a habit. Rehab. Recovery. Miss Manners Classes. Yoga sessions. Anger Management sessions. Medication. The prescribed time to wear your retainers.

An academic course, badminton classes, your phone before you dropped it in the toilet.

And there are many other things. But do they all begin here, this very moment? Do they all end here, at this very moment (assuming it's January 1st right now). 

Are you okay with putting so much pressure on this one teeny 24 hour-ed day right here, where you are going to end it all, end all the fear of the cold weather, end all those feelings you had for someone, end all your aspirations of becoming a pilot, end becoming an alcoholic ....begin rehab, begin reliving your life, begin letting go, begin trying harder.

For all it could mean, you could make this very day your starting and ending point for all the things I mentioned above, things that you've been dying to change for ages, things that you've overlooked. You could end it all and begin a new life right here, on this first day of this first month.... but does that mean on the eve of New Year you sit in your terrace and go like "Okay, 2 more days till I become a new person" and then wait till it's exactly 12 so you suddenly take off that purple bandanna you're wearing and replace it with a helmet? 

You don't need to wait that long. What you should realize is that, if you want, every single day, every single moment, THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, could be a new beginning or an ending. It could be the beginning of a beginning or a beginning of an ending as well, if it's a process that you plan to initiate. TODAY, no wait, THIS MOMENT, THIS NANOSECOND could be the beginning of an year even if it may be like 18th of April. 

Back to why I wasn't feeling sentimental... For me, I control the day. I control when it begins, I control when it ends. If I want I could make the sun rise at 7pm and begin something. If I want I could set the sun at 10am. I could stretch the sun of my mind out into a rectangle and be like, okay sun, you're going to rise starting from this moment, and you should end rising by 5pm tomorrow. Then you can start setting and end setting within around 11 days. 

Okay, that's it for now. I'm so sleepy and again, I know I'm going to regret posting this entry when I see this in the morning/afternoon when I wake up, when I know that I myself rarely follow this wonderful advisory logic that I've just sort of put in words, that I always forget that I have the power to control the sun (of my mind, ofc), that every day can be a new beginning/ending, if I set my mind to it.

But anyway, I don't think people should take that as an excuse and stop celebrating New Year's. It's still a very cool concept.

Happy 2014! :)

The waiter who dropped the food.

Aah, I have a terrible writer's block since I haven't been writing in so long, so plz bear with me.

Hey there, middle-aged waiter with distressed look, scurrying about nervously. What's that, your badge says 'Monu' but your actual name is Jayadarshan Merkuku? They made you change it because it sounds too grand?                                                                                                                                                                                                   Your hair is graying, and you squint at the tiny letters on the menus you bring for your customers. You seem more than desperate to do the job right, however, it can easily be made out waitering isn't quite your skill. You seem too old to be doing the job part-time to collect enough summer job money to visit your girlfriend in Meerut, and too young to be an arrogant humbug slamming menus on tables to earn enough money for a pack of cigarettes.                                                                                                                                                               Middle-aged Monu, did you ever think you'll be a waiter at a first class restaurant in a third world country, accustoming your aching eardrums with the melody of profanities from your employers? 

Let's face it, Monu. Your meek self isn't fit for the steady restaurant business with its mean-looking employers combing their thick mustaches while lifting cash instead of weights with their left hands. Those employers gleam with pride at their owner buddies and say Yeh toh baayen haath ka khel hain, bhai (This task is so simple that it can be done with your left hand), and sneer at you, as your knees tremble. 

But Monu, is it your fault? You have 3 kids and a baby to feed at home, and your wife is sick and tired of scouring the whole village for food. Your hair is oily and sickening due to the lack of the usage of latest hair products <did you guys hear of Beer Shampoo?>, but yet work you must. You have to pocket that meager salary and go to the chai dukaan (tea shop) to buy bread and butter for your family. 

You are scared, dead scared of losing this job, because who wants unskilled, inexperienced people like you, especially in the allegedly fastest developing country in the world? You are just a tiny plant in the middle of the road- either get run over, or grow into a giant tree. Your tiny village failed to educate you, and your children are compulsorily being sent to government schools where they come home with a bruised lip and scarred brain by their corporal punishment followers, aka teachers.

Monu, uff, what's that? You dropped the food as you scurried towards the waiting customers? And what now, you received your manager's foot in return for your obviously unacceptable and disrespectful behavior? Tsk tsk, you are so bad, Monu.                                                                                                                                                     After all, Monu, don't you know it's bad manners to get your personal life involved in your professional life? Do your employers know, do your employers care if you lose your job? Do your employers care if you are shooed away whenever you seek work elsewhere? Do you think they will sympathize? You are only a burden to the restaurant. Quit before they fire you, live like a vagabond if you have to.

Ohh, Monu, can you please stop crying now? Losing those fluids will only make you thirsty- where will you drink water from? Through the dirty taps at the side of the roads, right next to the carefree peeing man and the mooing cow? You know what? I'll give you an advice. Go stand in the middle of the road. But wait! Not so quick. Don't be stupid now, get your family to stand with you! What are they to do if you get run over? And you know what, that is not enough. Call all your friends, all your relatives, all those around you that you see suffering. Now see, all you poor and ugly people, plant yourself in the middle of the road. What's that, a BMW is racing full speed towards you? Well, don't you bother, trust me on this, stand right there.

Fellow humanity lovers, do you see what happened here? Those beggars got run over, but their corpses remain. And now there is a giant tree with red leaves instead of that sapling that once stood there. Commuters obviously have a lot of trouble now. They will have to drive around the tree, and plans are being carried out to have that giant, shaming tree cut from the middle of the road. After all, that is the venue of the latest, most gorgeous *world class* race course. That tree is a barrier, it is ugly, disturbing, and completely unnecessary. So let's just cut it off, huh?

I live in a third world country, and probably only the residents of my country can understand the deep politics and development errors going on right now. Maybe it is not relatable to everyone. Maybe, I exaggerated a bit. However, you must agree that there is some relevance beneath the shade of that bloody tree I have made. India, I freakin' love you, you are such a beautiful country, but you are forgetting something very important. Being 'developed' does not mean race courses and five star hotels. Of course, that is part of the picture, but part of it is also eradicating the little problems in life that we overlook. Today itself, I witnessed a distressed waiter dropping the food at the restaurant and getting an air of profanities from the manager. Of course, he never got beat up. But ever heard of mutual respect, and some understanding?

And to my first-world readers, this is very much relevant to daily life as well. Most of us are constantly in a race to be the best, to reach the highest goals, the highest paths. That's when we overlook certain little things, get demoralized a little, because, of course, don't we all have our own problems too, to look at other peoples' problems? Towards our struggles to success, we push down a lot of people, and some of them are people we never intended to hurt. Though class difference is a more prevalent problem in India, discrimination is world wide. There is a difference between having a bad day and a bad life. Monu's employers had a bad day, but to Monu, his actions were completely the results of a bad life. Do you think Monu loves his job?

Again, due to class difference, in India, waitering is not considered a good job. It is not the same as your typical summer job, people become disrespected waiters out of desperation. But is this where we want to head? Is this what we want our children, our grand children, and our great grand children to go through as well? A whole legacy of shame and bloody trees?

Aah, I could go on and list a whole bunch of problems with this country, all the skepticism of India as a developing country. I could go on about humanity, and I could vaguely describe the disgust and awe I feel juxtaposed in the newspaper, which I have gotten sick of reading these days, just btw. I see a lot of Indian bloggers around me blogging away about corruption, rape, politics, poverty, and every root of India's problems and the slumping value of the Rupee against the dollar, the shattered hopes of students wanting to study abroad, and the absolutely non-affected rich along with the poor too worried about feeding their empty stomachs to think about the sensex and Aam Aadmi Party.

Aaah, I'm so sleepy. I promise you though, the next blog entry will hopefully be much more cheerful, haha. 

Ohemjeeez its ray-ning!

O-mi-goshhhh luk guyzzzz da rainzzz r hurrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! funzyyy puddalz evry-wear ma feeets r wettyzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so soz. But I just felt like posting a blog entry just for the sake of posting a blog entry coz I ain't got no time fo dese stuffs aaj kal :'( 

....why am i talking lyk dis.................

OMG...........................

I can't think of anything else to say, so I'm just going to comment on the weather. It's raininggg! It rains pretty much all the time. That's what I love about India, we have a separate season JUST for the rains. I love the sound of thunder and rain smashing against the earth. Yes, there are a gazillion interesting looking insects around, but the rain sort of makes up for it. Yeah.

PS- My phone's confiscated so I've been going insane due to lack of socializing. im goinsasininaasaneee :'((( plzz hav pitzz. This blogpost has hopefully assured you that I'm alive. Because idk, my laptop mite get confiscated too soon, hu noes :( in case it does, I'll promise to sneak to post a blog entry in some way and please your starved senses. 

Oh, and since I have nothing better to type, you might as well enjoy this little cartoon I had made.

Mch luvzz xoxo ({}) -idk if i made it right

"Go On".

I was awake tonight instead of sleeping, because of this TV show. It's called "Go On", and I had heard about it before, but never really got around to seeing it. From what I've gathered, it's about this guy who loses his wife, yet hallucinates her presence and that keeps him sort of sane and insane at the same time. He misses her all the time, yet, he knows that he must move on, for his own health. It made me wonder, why is this show with such a tragic story considered so comical? (it was coming on Comedy Central) Is the 'moving on' part supposed to be funny? Is it wholly funny, or sadly funny, because come on, the guy's lost his wife, he can't really function properly without her. Is it funny because he is such a fail without her, and is the show trying to point out the meaning of a soul mate? Or is the show funny because of funny things completely unrelated to the death of his wife, and is the show trying to point out how insane and unreliable humans are? Or some mysterious third option that is blatantly pointing out my foolishness because of my overthinking brain? Either ways, I'm confused, and this is haunting me.

We try to move on all the time, I don't think this is applicable to just relationships, it's just something you come across life all the time. And it's not easy. But it is essential. Unless something can be done to undo the need to move on. And if that something is possible, you should run full speed towards it, and grab that thing that you've been having trouble letting go of. If it is unattainable, perhaps in an imaginary unattainable place, you have to let it go, and well, "go on".

I think this is a great show. It makes me think when I'm not supposed to think and supposed to simply laugh at the funny scenes. The topic they picked is just very curious, that's all.

Oh, look at the time. I'm probably going to whack myself in the head in the morning for posting when I'm half unconscious. But hey, I didn't make any spelling/grammatical errors!

Yours truly, 

Know your smile.

smile

  [smahyl]  Show IPA verb, smiled, smil·ing, noun.

verb (used without object)

1.

to assume a facial expression indicating pleasure, favor, or amusement, but sometimes derision orscorn, characterized by an upturning of the corners of the mouth.

2.

to regard with favor: Luck smiled on us that night.

3.

to have a pleasant or agreeable appearance or aspect, as natural scenes, objects, etc.: The landscape smiled in the sunlight.

However, even my most favorite online dictionary failed to define smile with the preferred amount of depth. 

A smile is not simply a smile.  People often say that your eyes are the windows to your world/mind/whatever, but a smile is a more direct route, imo. You fake it, make it, take it, break it, or scare a snake with it. (just wanted to rhyme). You can totally guess if a person is fake or not, by their smile. You can assume the amount of thoughts in their head by their smile. But of course, not many of us are so skilled at observing smiles. We all have better things to do. But if you ever sit and wonder, this post is all for you. 

I have had tons of experiences with all those types of smiles. But this is a very common one:

Now, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all those samaritans out there who cared enough to wonder the localities of my (absent?) smile. But I have a two questions for you. 1) Do you genuinely care?, and 2) Do you expect everyone to smile everywhere all the freaking time? 

Now before you go all kung-fu on me for promoting 'sadness', let me just explain. A smile is an alleged way of looking into, or catching a glimpse of what might be possibly running through a person's mind. I have seen people all the time, waking up with a giant smile and going to sleep with a giant smile and carrying that giant smile throughout the day. I make it sound so hypocritical, but when I look at such people, my mind goes to a halt and I get confused about myself. For a long time, I wondered if I was normal. If I was the girl in the cartoon I made above, would I question myself? Should I hate myself for not smiling? Should I change myself? Should I clip on a smile just to fool the world, hoping to fool myself? But is there anything to fool about? After all, I wasn't depressed or anything. I was happy as hell and yet I chose not to smile. Am I non-human for not smiling despite not being sad? 

All these questions paraded en masse intending to destroy the cerebrum and only one of my sudden midnight epiphanies could stop further damage. I would not want to end up with a fake smile. In fact, I would much rather look non-smiley and long-faced, rather than fake. I would dare to put up an expression different from the rest of the world as long as I am staying the hell away from that painful, face-aching, stretch-marks forming, moisturizer-needing, the most dreaded, fake smile.

Now, you may protest and come up with reasons to go against my perspective. You will say all kinds of stuff that if you walk around with a sad face, you'll spread the sadness, or no one would wanna speak to you, or you'll forever be a weirdo or smiling is good for your health. Or any other possible reasons. You may or may not agree with me, but this is something I feel rather strongly about. If you smile every goddamn time, what exactly is the value of that cheap exhibition of yellowing teeth? If you smile the same smile for both your successful dentist appointment and when you win the Nobel Prize, what exactly have you reduced the significance of your smile to? What does it mean? Does it even have a meaning? 

Think about it. You 'force' a smile everytime you see an acquaintance on the hallway, but then there is this involuntary smile that just pops up when you see someone who actually matters to you. I personally have witnessed and analyzed the differences. There is, I assure you, a very clear gap between both kinds of smiles. That involuntary one is the one you thrive for. The rest are simply gorgeous futility. 

I have never been referred to as a frequent smiler. I smile when it's involuntary. I smile without thinking. And when there is the need to think, or force my brain to make me smile, I simply just choose NOT to. Of course, that might lead to judgement from all sides of the igloo, but that's just who I freaking am! I can't be expected to smile every time a photo is being clicked (this would explain why my smiles are so awkward in my pictures), but also, that doesn't mean I'm perpetually upset. Being the awesome writer/creative person I am, a thousand things are running through my mind every second. And when I think, my face just holds this perpetually thoughtful expression that is interpreted in many ways by different people. Some think I'm lost. Some think I'm sad. Some think I'm weird. But the truth is, I'm just being normal. A 'smile' can't simply be expected to be the 'normal' expression. I'm not saying a frown should be normal either, but why the heck do people judge you on the basis of a regular defined rule which screams "YO EARTHLINGS! IF YOURE HUMAN YOU SMILE WHEN YOU FEEL NORMAL!!!". Why can't you be judged by your own standards? Why can't people open up their minds and NOT judge others by their facial expressions for once? 

And also, let's assume you see an actual, genuine depressed person (if your brain ever matures enough to make the difference between a genuinely depressed and fake depressed). Why do you ask the person to 'smile'? Why can't you MAKE the person smile instead?!!

This is just one of the many things I fail to understand about people. A smile doesn't just pop up by itself. You have to make it happen. I actually am going to digress and claim that though many claim that you don't need a reason to smile, I believe that mostly, you do! You are smiling because the weather is nice. Your smiling because that cake is delicious. You are smiling because your SO smiled at you. You are smiling because if makes you feel good. You are smiling because there are good things in your mind. You are smiling... for a reason. It may be minute, but it is there. And it is causing that smile you so beautifully highlight your face with.

Honestly, this post is mostly spelling out 'me'. I'm sure not everyone feels or thinks the same. But at the moment, this thought that I've suddenly come up with just seems so incredibly awesome and true, that I just can't think of any argument against it. Also, another thing I can not stand is when people judge others without knowing their background. When you see a smile and proclaim it or label it, do you ever wonder why it's there, or why that person is this way? Do you ever wonder about your depressed chai-wala, or your jubilant air hostess? I'm not saying be a creep and find out, but you should be sensitive to people's lives. You can't just compare others to yourself and be like "That person is so sad all the time when everyone else is so chill. Let's bury him in the dungeon." Or whatever. Maybe that person is suffering from cancer and suddenly is bestowed upon the pain that he/she has to deal with. Or maybe he broke his fingernail. Okay, now I just don't know what I'm saying. So before I go insane, I shall stop. 

Let me just end by saying that smiles are beautiful, wonderful and one of the greatest things about being human beings. Have you seen iguanas smile? Maybe occasionally, but we can smile way more than that. But I don't think iguanas would go around faking smiles, and that is why I'm worried about people. You just never know when you are being faked. You just never know when you are really happy. You just never know when you have made someone happy. So wouldn't you rather be.. REAL than forever smiling? I think being real is the better option. Obviously, this is all my opinion, as I am repeating for the umpteenth time. But I'm a strong believer. 

I feel amazing after letting all my ideas and all out, but guess what, I'm still not smiling. Call me emotionally drained, but you can't say I'm fake. Goodnight <3

Lalalalalong.

I have a new page now. Read : FAQ

You're shocked. You're amazed. You're awed. You're disgusted. You're regijwrgiuwhrbgipjgweog.

There have been changes, there are updates. I'm awesome because I planned all of this and updated my blog just in time for the new year. Well, at least it's new year in India right now.

First things first.

I've been waa-itin' a lalalala long long time. It's new yearz, babez! New year and a good time HEY!

I don't know why, but my blog just neeeds that song right now. Yes, it is a "new year", and it's allegedly "new", but I don't feel renewed or awesome or anything right now. Just slightly exhilarated. Last year, I partied. This year, I sat home and watched TV while chowing on a chocolate mini-cake. Things have lazed down, you could say. Perhaps the fast-paced-ness of 2012 slowed me down in 2013. Perhaps I hadn't anticipated this moment, because the world was supposed to end. Perhaps the year in which I'd turn 17 doesn't really deserve a warm welcome. Perhaps I turn more and more rational day by day. Hard to find motives, but this time, I just didn't do anything special. But that's okay.

You may, or may not have noticed that my blog has undergone a change.

It used to look like this-

And noww-

The font. The color. The background color. The background image. And lookie there! Is this possible?! Could this be real?

   

 That's right. I have a new page. Checkitout!

So I followed the footsteps of the world's awesomest bloggers and came up with a FAQ page of my own! It  comprises of questions and doubts that are totally askable and common and I sure hope that any questions/comments/concerns/doubts that you may or may not have about my blog will be cleared with the reading of that single awesome page of mine. I'm beaming like a proud parent now, aren't I? 

And let me just say one more thing. I have changed the whole look of my blog, and it is possible that your browser may occasionally be a bore and not allow to show my blog in its original font. In that case, you should hit refresh to see the actual font, or just revel in the awesomeness of the (vapid) comic sans font. 

And once again, wherever you live, whatever time it may be, I assume the new year has begun for you. Personally, I feel that even if the year may be new, I'm still as old and same as ever. Haha. But seriously, loads of cool things have happened this year. I met so many new people who have deeply impacted my life, I started this awesome blog of mine, and well, I did manage to change a bit, because well, a little change is inevitable. I did lose myself in nostalgia during that change, however managed to surface again. So yeah, that's the personal perspective, in case you were wondering. I'm gonna go sleep now. Sotired.

Is the music still playing? I've been waitin' a lalalala long a lalalala long long long, time! ha, feisty now; 

The world is too strong to end.

Inspiración is everywhere.

1.

Creds- ChronicleOnline

The last few days have been pretty crazy over here. One thing I love about democracy is protests. India has been struggling as a democracy, but when we unite, the citizens are unstoppable. The result of a brutal gang rape of a 23 year old woman in a chartered bus has raised the loudest of the voices and I can actually hear the agonizing screams of the protesters till my room. These protesters have been protesting non-stop; despite authorities firing water cannons at them, they continued protesting, drenched and shivering. The accused were thrashed by the inmates(!) when they were taken to Tihar Jail. This reminds me that maybe, there is some hope left in this world.

Delhi has been the rape capital of the country. It has come to such a point that girls can not even step out alone, or even with friends! Is this how our country has become? And then the police blame our wardrobe, saying that wearing shorts would turn them on so we get raped. Well uh, here's a wacky idea- why don't you punish these retards in the first place?! No matter what we wear, we get raped, so how does it make a difference? And the authorities can't use the old excuse- 'she was asking for it' to run away from the absurd truth that they can't take the blame/do something about it. It is all EXTREMELY stupid. I was beyond pissed when I heard the news about this incident for the first time. I could just go on about how pissed off I am, but I have other things to say as well, but seriously, this is the most shameful act in the country. Personally, I feel that the rapists for this case should be hanged so there would be at least some fear for these fucktards. As worded by Sunitha Krishnan, "Rapists walk free, victim gets life term".

2.   Recently I just got over with my exams. I was worried because I thought I won't have time to finish studying, but it was at times like these when a familiar voice rings in my head. 

Me: Ma'am, how will I study!??!?! I am so screwed. There isn't much time and qwertyuiopi'mfreakingout!
Yoda: You can do it. Remember, there are 24 hours in a day. It is up to you how to use it.

So I had this conversation with my Economics teacher back in 10th grade. I was worried about my finals and I didn't have time to study at all, and I had no clue what was going to happen to me. That was when my teacher said that there are 24 hours in a day. I don't know why, but after that time, though I've heard this quote so many times, I felt the most inspired at that moment. Being the wannabe nerd that I am, I made this quote reflect in my grades. It's like this quote magically converted the D I had in the preboard exams to an A by my 10th grade finals! And 11th/12th grades are frightening times. Your grades kind of define your future, so who wouldn't want to do well? When you're struggling though, just remember, there are 24 hours in a day. I'd stay up late/wake up early and study every freaking thing and practice every question, and use my time wisely. Because I knew that 24 hours is a fair time. And we get to use it.

Seriously, when I see this, I just feel so motivated to do something!! Don't you feel it too?!

Besides the woes of a worried 11thie, I have another reason to be inspired.


3.

And after listening to this I was just  9E9GRREOVPOOUR45EROVOOOOQOWoi*(32R7283R72389T7 Z239~)!>@>>@>REJGP seriously, I can't say much about this because I was literally speechless by the beauty of the sound. It is so cool how they combined classical and contemporary, but in ways of instruments and the scenario and stuff, with the Phantom of the Opera and the classy-ish setting and oh ye godsss I still can't get over how amazing this is. I have respect for every kind of music, and this one just happens to be a step amazing-er because even without any lyrics or anything, it touched my heart, mind, soul, everything! And whenever I listen to this, I just feel a lot better and it awes me everytime.



So my dear lovelies, I have just given you 3 reasons for why the world can't end. It is too strong, too inhabited with inspiration and beauty. Of course there are thousands of other reasons, but these are just to name a few.

Today is the 21st of December, 2012, the alleged/futile apocalypse, however, I don't see the world ending any time soon. It is too awesome to end. Other than the scientific reasons, of course. So yeah, happy NOT-apocalypse! And tomorrow, I'm gonna sit and watch the movie 2012 so I can laugh at all that drama.

PS- To offer support for the victim of the gang rape incident, and to help India rid any future atrocities of such kind, sign the petition: Death For Rape
My heart goes out to the victim, and I truly hope she will fight against this terrible deed. She is a sign of hope for our country, and I offer my full support to the victim and her family. And my heart goes out to the protesters. I'm not being allowed to protest (-.-) but I'm so freakin' proud of those people braving the winter chill and fighting for this girl, and against every shameless dweeb out there, to save India's present and future.

Yours truly, and very much alive, 

The Typed Flow of Consciousness.

I hate un-updated blogs. I know that it's barely been a week since I updated mine, but still I just feel like it's wrong to not keep taking time out to write for my readers (if any :P). 

So I had an exam today, and my head is heavy with sleep and my eyes are drooping and I can't stop thinking about Malthusian Theory and I just need to clear my head. 

Yes, this is one of my rants. 

I'm not the sort of person who can keep it all in, i.e. I have to figure some way to let thoughts out, because when I have too much to think about, my head explodes.

So, to prevent such explosions, I either blabber it all out on my (unfortunate) friends who are forced to listen. Or I make paintings like the one above. OR, I follow this tactic.

It's called... drumroll.... "The Typed Flow of Consciousness".

TADAAA!!!!! 

Okay, I know that sounds very lame/weird/nice, I just made that up right now. So, what is this typed flow thing, you ask? 

Well, it's very simple. It is an alleged effective way to clear your mind and make you stop thinking for sometime. Well, it works for me, I'm not sure it'll work for everyone. So basically, what you have to do is type it all out. It doesn't matter what you type, how you type, where you type, but just. keep. typing. Punctuation and spellings are unnecessary. The rules of the English language is totally N/A here. You type whatever you want to type, in whatever way you want to. Just make sure it flows out continuously, don't even stop to think, just type whatever you want, let your fingertips guide you.

Demo? Sure!

There weren't many who had the capability of flying in wingless dreams as if the touch of poison could wound the many thoughts and feelings you had when you were let down and disease floated like the influenza virus as the sun sweated cold blood that rained while you were wet and wandered in circles searching black holes to find those who were devoured by inhumanity and we claim it’s a democracy when humble minded nomads could only wish for the vein next to the heart as they are unloved in memories that make pain seem far away though when remembered they can’t be untrained with perseverance because they follow you around and dream with your darkest dreams that could not be fulfilled because this world is insanity coated and you happen to be the soulful depth. 

^Okay so. That was my demo. I know it's kind of nerdy and sounds slightly poetic, but maybe that's how my inner poet-ness figures a way out! Maybe yours will too.  IF you actually read it all, I'm sure you might be confused and slightly amused, but honestly, even I don't know what I've written. I like to assume that it is something deep. It was written a few days ago when I just needed to clear my head out. So when I re-read it recently, I tried to picture what I wrote. And...

My imagination is astounding, isn't it? You know it is.

And it's totally cool if you write something totally weird. I got one of my friends to do it too, and here's what she came up with:

My nose is blocked and I have a cold and that is very annoying and it is also annoying to not use punctuation are you annoyed by me in this world filled with raspberries and chocolate when all you want to do is sleep and punch a really fat monkye.  

Monkey*

Again, I'm not sure if it will work for everyone, but this most certainly works for me! I'm guessing it's the continuous, rhythmic sound of the keyboard, along with being able to make words, that makes the human mind feel some comfort. It also serves as a remedy for heavy-headed-ness. I'm so helpful, na? 

That's all. Have a nice, clear day :]

I found something interesting..

I'm supposed to be studying for exams, BUT I just need to share this like right now.

So I was procrastinating (as usual) and just out of curiosity, I typed 'blog analyzer' on google, and a lot of stuff popped up, but THIS! was by far the most interesting. Relatively. 

I only found out about this right now and idk why, I'm just kind of fascinated! You type in the URL of your blog and it guesses the age of the blogger. So, I did that. And....

And after I read this I felt so mature and stuff, I mean, I'm 16, and they think I'm 18-25!!!! Lol. Okay. I think this studying is driving me just a little insane. For those of you who don't have a blog, fear not!! You are still loved. And you can use this link to be a creep and guess the ages of random bloggers you've encountered. 

And wait, this isn't the end of this entry. I need to slam my head against the keyboard.

  yy

^okay that's interesting. My whole head only takes that much space. TAKE THAT, EXZAAMMZZZ!!!

omgogmomgogmogmogmogmgomgogmogmogmogmogmg

ex-aaaams. exams. eeeeggggss. hams. egg. sams. samshamexams. 

Okay whatever. I'll get back to studying now. Much lav. 

The Expectation Theory.

Okay so originally the post title was gonna be 'My expectation theory', but I'm guessing many of us already apply this theory, so I didn't really want to claim it's my own creation.

We all expect. We expect like crazy. In fact, I expect you, yes you, my favorite reader, to read this entire post and praise it. I expect so many things, and so do you, and we all have expectations for each other, and well, that's life.

But what happens when life refuses to fulfill our expectations?

Disappointment. Now that's something every human being has experienced. If you read halfway through my blog entry and decide it's boring, you have failed to reach my expectations, and I am disappointed. (sad face). Oh god I feel so psychological and human behavior reading types right now!

Now, I (and many other people) have decided to follow this theory to prevent disappointment. I'm sure you already know it. But I just HAD to include it in my blog, and that also right NOW. I mean, I have just got home from school, and haven't even changed my uniform, and here I am, letting it out before I lose/forget it.

Don’t Expect! J

Face it. There are too many disappointments in our lives and we can't suffer it any longer. That test you thought you did well in, you're not topping the class. That new hairdo you got to gain attention of your crush, well, it's not very attention-seeking. Your ice cream will melt and the sun will set and winter will arrive to chill your bones and drown your happiness. Okay. So you get the point. I'm sure by this time, you probably hate me for killing your mood by being such a realist all of a sudden, but yes, my beloved, these are the disappointments you are expected to live by, and you suffer one, constantly. 

So what do you do? (I'll repeat again because the previous timing wasn't good enough)

Don’t Expect! J

Don't expect! Or if you must, expect little. When you give that test, try your best, but expect to simply pass. When you get your hair permed, expect attention from say, your freakishly observant geology teacher. When it gets cold, don't expect it to be summer the next day. In fact, just don't expect, and trust me, you'll enjoy life a lot more without that 'OHH THIS BETTER HAPPEN' burden. It's tried and true, folks.

Of course, now you're thinking "How canst thou eradicate expectations? I need thist to fuel my potential". So if you ignore the new random word I made up (thist) and the wacky Englischhh, I agree and understand that it will be hard, but it comes with time and practice. Keep distracting your mind with...eh...that hideous design on your friend's pet frog's back. Or something of that sort. As long as you.....

Don’t Expect! J

I won't lie, I am enjoying this^ 

However, let me just say that it may not work for everyone. Yes, it is true that maybe, if you expect, you push yourself to your limits and reach your maximum potential. So I guess I could say that this is only advisable to those who have simply HAD IT with disappointment ruining every moment's awesomeness. And you never know, without expecting for that special ice cream sundae your uncle gives you every Friday, you are actually avoiding disappointment that would have come if your uncle decides to give you an itch cream instead of an ice cream, one fine Friday. 

And imagine your surprise when you do get your hair permed and everyone, including the special someone, notices the waves of your hair and makes a nerdy joke about wavelengths (okay how do I even think of such examples), and that surprise happened entirely because you didn't expect that to happen. So when it DID happen, you are all mind blown and awe struck.

So..uh...on a quick ending note, I realize this blog entry is all dull and unattractive because I was too lazy to prettify it, and include my cliparts or drawings or whatever, but I'm sure you'll forgive me for that. And no, there is no reason that I wrote this entry on this particular day at this particular time, in case you were wondering. Okay, great, now you're wondering. Well, please don't wonder, and please don't expect, and you will be guaranteed (I guess) to be pleased!  

Much hugs and painted mugs, (what?)

I'm buzzing with excitement.

I don't know if I should be excited or ashamed. I don't know if I'm the most hip-n-happenin' person or the most un-hip-n-happenin' person, or maybe I'm just really sleepy, and the lack of sleep is making me hyper, and releasing crazy thoughts, but today/night, I will be talking about our small little adhesive colorful friends- Mosquito Repellent Patches!!!

These are what the pretty ones look like <3 - 

The whole Delhi-NCR region screams DENGUE!! DENGUE!! (And I still pronounce it as 'dengoo' when most grammar queens claim it's 'dengee') and we need something bigger than a huge mosquito eating penguin, or a deadly Citronella tower, or anything of that sort. Something compact, effective, portable (why do I feel like I'm advertising), and fashionable, in one, sticky, pretty, sticker. 

Believe it or not, these things started years back, and I only found out about it like, a few days ago? When everyone flaunted these at school. I just don't know why, but I'm excited by these things. Recently I got my own share of mosquito repellent patches, albeit the non-smiley ones. Maybe I'll pull out a Sharpie and make faces on it, and make it look just like those pretty ones. But I hope it won't like, make the patch ineffective or something. Maybe the Sharpie ink will fight a duel with the Citronella. And win. 

^Okay. I believe I need to sleep now, before I go further insane. 

It's also sad how so many of my friends/acquaintances are suffering from dengue. I guess I'll take this opportunity to wish them to get well soon. 

Oh and I just remembered a mosquito bit me last night. I hope the thoughts of the probabilities of me getting dengue won't haunt me tonight. I wonder what my reaction will be when I'll see this post tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll freak out because I wrote this while I was half asleep. Or half awake. Goodnight, awakeners. (<-- did I seriously just say tha?)

Freakazoid and the Future.

When I go insane, I go insane. I would like to begin with a sincere apology to all those distressed souls that I distressed even more with my crazy talk.

I'm the Red one. But you already guessed that.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep your composure inherently. This is just one of those moments when I abruptly panic and turn into a freakazoid.

And about the future, well, what can I say? You can't always be 100% sure of what's going to come your way, so mostly we just mentally prepare ourselves, right? There is so much you could be doing this very second, like your homework, or researching on the average cockroach's perspiration rate, or just reaching a decision on what you want to do in life. But what are you really doing? Reading my awesome blog entry (which is totally productive, just btw). 

So presently, I'm freaked out, confused, and insane in life, but slowly, it's working out. And I'm not going to make decisions under pressure, isn't it wise to make it with a clear mind? For now, I'll keep tricking my brain into thinking there's time, and do whatever I can this moment. 

Thoughts. {I made a BLOG!}

So this whole blogspot thing has another addition to it and I don't know why I'm rambling maybe I'm excited okay I'm so hungry and yes! I have a blog now.

I think I'll use pictures now to describe my feelings.
Before I made a blog:

After I made one:

So clearly you can conclude that I'm quite happy, and I'd advice you to stop thinking about how I magically transformed from a cartoon-ish hyperbolic dismayed girl to a smiling smiley. I'd also advice you to stop hating on the first drawing, I know my skills aren't the most amazing skills, but hey, I tried! My hair is so not brown, btw.
However, I cleverly left out the drawing which would've been titled "While I made the blog."
Here's a list of some of the things in my mind as I created this dsfkjhwerh masterpiece:

• What's the time?
• Is there food in the fridge?
• OHMYGODTHISISSOCOMPLICATED
• What should be the name of this blog?
• WHAT SHOULD BE THE NAME OF THIS BLOG?
• Ooh, pinkkk
• This is taking so much time!
• When will I be done?
• Great, I'm hungry now
• THIS BLOG IS LIKE MY OWN PRIVATE VIRTUAL WORLD!! :'D 
• There are barely any birds in the sky today
• Will I get butt cramps for sitting for so long?
• THIS IS NEVER ENDING. 
• ..Okay, perhaps not.

The last statement was made a few minutes ago. Then came the smiley part. 

So yes, this is my very first blog entry. It took approximately 4 hours to reach here (inclusive of the time taken to procrastinate, eat, socialize, pee, etc) I wonder if I'll ever be a pro with this blog-customizing thing. 

Much love, procrastinators,