Who needs grades when you have Center Fresh? (Plan B)

Today, I managed to watch tv after ages after finally emerging out from beneath my rock (temporarily) because Patrick has kicked me out because apparently now I've lost all my socializing skills and all starfish, brainful as well as brainless, hate me.
Unfortunately I'm still under the huge granite of a rock termed EXAMS. Today, whilst scribbling away any answers I could think of, the stupid invigilator snatched my paper and destroyed my mood in such a way that the only thing that would've made me feel better was tv. And not just tv.
Whenever I watch tv I make it a point to watch cheesy shows *cough* Indian serials. I watched one today in which this guy and a girl meet on facebook, share an assortment of chicken jokes to win camaderie, decide to meet at the local restaurant, seal their instant friendship with a hi5 (note: thats when their hands touch and violins pregnate the air), pull each other's cheeks, then decide to get married. However, the girl's father is a super conservative, paan chewing relic of an ancient, who smears ghee in his parantha with his bony fingers then reprimands his daughter saying "I VEEL HAVE NO INTER-CASTE MARRIAGE IN THIS PHAMILY." The girl says Nahiiin, cries in her bedroom, meets the boy secretly and they both decide to elope on a coughing scooter on the eve of the girl's eighteenth birthday, because eloping or not, they want to follow the law, for the legal marriage age in India is 18.
Then they book the best room at the "BEST ROOM HOTEL" and get mushy. Oh what's that, are you expecting some boogiewoogiedoogie? Oh no, these are the Indian peninsular species you are talking about, and they merely talked about the various dietary supplements for the following night (the girl makes the best mutter paneer in town), and then indulged in the cheek-pulling again.
Anyway, long story short, the guy ends up being a robber who planned to loot the girl's jewelry, the girl ends up being a useless lover of another man who smokes cigarettes and finds refuge in bigotry, the girl's dad ends up being an epilepsy patient who threatens his daughter by saying he will voluntarily die if his daughter marries a lower caste, and I end up one of those guys you find in Indian dhabas who yell COME HERE WE HAVE THE BEEEESTBUTTERCHICKENSAMOSADOSAMASALADOSAPOORINAANROTILEMONJUICEAPPLEJUICEMIXEDFRUITJUICEMANGOJUICEAndpizza. Okay I don't know why I included the last part. But now you know my secret ambition! I've been working at these tongue twisters recently....
Anyway, that is so not what this blog entry is about. While this putrid freckle of a show was puberty-ing, an advertisement came in between. And I loved it so much that I actually went and searched for it on YouTube because it's the best thing I have ever seen. Needless to say, chewing Center Fresh chewing gum will probably help with my newfound love for screaming out the menu at lightning speed in restaurants and dhabas. Okay maybe plan B.
For some reason blogger app is not allowing me to attach the video through phone (UGH!) But that doesn't mean I don't love you enough or that I don't want you to watch this ad (esp the middle part when he imitates the Fair and Lovely ad :'D) I laughed so hard at this!!!
Ps- if you don't understand Hindi; this video is basically a parody of all these popular Indian advertisements of toothpastes, fairness creams, Ambuja Cement, memory pills, etc, which are found on tv all too often.
I feel like there is some hope for this country. I think the cheesyness is actually what makes India India. WOOP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFYG4qF_vXk&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Ps- pray or do some witchcraft to enable me to pass all my exams and turn my colossal of an invigilator into a powerless squid.
Wahaha.

X and O?

I'm so confused. I always thought x stands for hugs and o for kisses, but I recently heard from somewhere that it's the other way around, that x stands for kisses and o for hugs?

I'm trying to see what makes more sense.

X- could mean hug. It does look like two people embracing. Even though it would be a weird hug involving just your middle body. Could work if your feet are cemented to the floor and your avoiding each other's faces because it's too ugly and you can't be near it.

O- could be a kiss. Like a pout or a little peck.

X- could be a kiss. You know, the messy French kiss. With the tongues all zig zag.

O- could be a hug. A weird hug opposite to the first hug where you hug only one's face and legs. Oh who am I kidding, there's no way that's a hug. If you hug like that in real life, I'm sorry but that's not an o. That's 0. For zero affection-sense. Get tutored by me.

Well. The internet is still pretty weird. And I'm still confused. What do you think x and o means? Please help me!

Ps- will start legit blogging after I'm done with board exams aka done with school forgood. And please forgive typos, delays, writers block, excuses, etc.

Xoxoxoxoxo (because if you read my entries, you get a hug as well as a kiss) (v-day special, brozers)

The meaning of Year.

A few days ago when 2013 was ending, I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling very sentimental. I don't know about you, but for me, the end of a year doesn't always feel like a closure. Or a beginning, for that matter. It did when I was younger. In fact, till I was about 13, every year I would take this huge strip of paper and write WELCOME (insert year)!!! with dots and squiggles and lines and every color of the rainbow with stars and hearts and every shape imaginable. But as the years grew, I realized what a 'year' could be symbolic of. (so this is where my 'find-the-deeper-meaning' mania kicks in). 

So what exactly is a year? 

365 days? 366 if it's a leap year?

52 weeks?

One summer, long winter, an autumn, a spring, and possibly a monsoon?

A school year. August to June. Then June to August to June. 

Lifespan? If you die young, if you're a certain insect, if you're a druggie, if you're an oxygen-deprived newborn?

A few diseases, a few hesitant appointments to the dentist with the coughing old lady and the braces-adorned receptionist's teeth. 

A marriage. A relationship. A friendship. An affair. A crush. Struggle to get over someone. A long battle for divorce?

Battle for justice for someone who died. A new pizza place that eventually ran out of business.

Phases. Emotions. Happy phase, sad phase, longing phase, hyper phase, emotional phase, reflective phase.

An anniversary. Your 18th birthday. An artist's short-lived fame. An acronym that went viral.

A struggle. A war. A battle. An argument. A fear. 

Continuation of a habit. Continually trying to rid of a habit. Rehab. Recovery. Miss Manners Classes. Yoga sessions. Anger Management sessions. Medication. The prescribed time to wear your retainers.

An academic course, badminton classes, your phone before you dropped it in the toilet.

And there are many other things. But do they all begin here, this very moment? Do they all end here, at this very moment (assuming it's January 1st right now). 

Are you okay with putting so much pressure on this one teeny 24 hour-ed day right here, where you are going to end it all, end all the fear of the cold weather, end all those feelings you had for someone, end all your aspirations of becoming a pilot, end becoming an alcoholic ....begin rehab, begin reliving your life, begin letting go, begin trying harder.

For all it could mean, you could make this very day your starting and ending point for all the things I mentioned above, things that you've been dying to change for ages, things that you've overlooked. You could end it all and begin a new life right here, on this first day of this first month.... but does that mean on the eve of New Year you sit in your terrace and go like "Okay, 2 more days till I become a new person" and then wait till it's exactly 12 so you suddenly take off that purple bandanna you're wearing and replace it with a helmet? 

You don't need to wait that long. What you should realize is that, if you want, every single day, every single moment, THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, could be a new beginning or an ending. It could be the beginning of a beginning or a beginning of an ending as well, if it's a process that you plan to initiate. TODAY, no wait, THIS MOMENT, THIS NANOSECOND could be the beginning of an year even if it may be like 18th of April. 

Back to why I wasn't feeling sentimental... For me, I control the day. I control when it begins, I control when it ends. If I want I could make the sun rise at 7pm and begin something. If I want I could set the sun at 10am. I could stretch the sun of my mind out into a rectangle and be like, okay sun, you're going to rise starting from this moment, and you should end rising by 5pm tomorrow. Then you can start setting and end setting within around 11 days. 

Okay, that's it for now. I'm so sleepy and again, I know I'm going to regret posting this entry when I see this in the morning/afternoon when I wake up, when I know that I myself rarely follow this wonderful advisory logic that I've just sort of put in words, that I always forget that I have the power to control the sun (of my mind, ofc), that every day can be a new beginning/ending, if I set my mind to it.

But anyway, I don't think people should take that as an excuse and stop celebrating New Year's. It's still a very cool concept.

Happy 2014! :)

Letter to your annoyance

Dear annoyance,

   You think you're kewl? You think you're purrfecto? I am sorry I can't be amazing like you because I have other more important things to cater to. I don't need your "advice" or ways to let me down or suggestions or whatever it is that you call your ruthless running mouth. I don't need your criticisms or your shallow mind nose diving into my business. You may or may not intend to annoy me, but you, my lovely annoyer, have managed to be the cumulonimbus cloud to my perfectly sunny day. You can judge me xyz times and I may feel abc, but you know what you can't make me? Your own mind's manifestation. The world is not your handmade robots who tinkle when you say "tinkle". You are like the extension to my already long nails, or the piece of thread hanging on to my dress-unnecessary, insignificant, but annoying me like a pebble in my shoe, hoping to gain attention. Such a wannabe you are, aren't you ashamed of yourself? If I were you, I'd cocoon myself into a hammock and never come out, you know why? Coz everyone hates you. Keep your goddamn opinions to yourself and stop frying other people's brains because yours is already fried. You can eff off and live the life of an under appreciated tarantula and die the death of a kitten chewed and spat by a vulture(ouch). And even if that anticipated fate doesn't occur, you can blabber all you want, but you won't be heard. My ears are immune to your squacking and nothing can stop me from doing what I want to do the way I please to do it. Unless it will kill me, ofc.

   (And for my everloving supportive friends, I love you all and no, don't freak because that wasn't for you. You all are perfect the way you are and please don't get influenced by annoying good for nothing screechsnaps.)

Yours not-so-lovingly,
Annoyed but uninterrupted.