I think I'm being super cheesy when I say that school is a vital part of our lives, we won't forget it, etc etc. And also, I'm being cheesy (and kind of irresponsible) when I say school has taught me a lot of things.... remotely related to actual studies. It has taught me and equipped me with the important mechanisms needed for life, and well, I think that's what this post is dedicated for. It is totally possible that, as you read this, you might feel a sense of nostalgia (depending on how sharp my writing skills are, atm), because you may or may not experience most of these experiences and learn similar lessons.
SO YES. I'm finally, finally sitting down and typing this entry that I had promised to post long back, but now this extra time has only given me time for some deeper insight towards school lessons. It's been a few months since school has ended for me and it has given me some time to retrospect.
1) Believe in yourself- Now you've heard this a thousand times and I'm sure you're annoyed and shaking your head just like you do every time you face a cliche. And when I say 'Well, it's true!' I can just imagine you preparing to conjure a few unemployed demons from wherever you believe they reside. But that's not all I have to say. I'm raising the question of WHO should believe in you, as well. Should you believe in yourself? Should you get others to believe in you?
Let me tell you something here. I can't get into the creases of your wrinkled brain and analyze whether you love or hate people, but either ways, whether or not people believe in you, you should believe in yourself. In fact, you should believe in yourself whether you are inside a blackhole contemplating survival chances, or whether you are about to smack a fish-head on someone stupid.
Also, there may be times when an elderly person with sparkles in his eyes would put his shaking hands on your shoulders and say "I believe in you." I don't know about you, but when people count on me, it affects me in two ways- a) I feel good because I know that people support and care about me, and b) I feel pressurized. If others believing in you put you under pressure, that's again when the "believe in yourself" part comes in. Block out the rest, and focus on the fact that you believe in yourself, and you're only trying to live up to your OWN expectations, rather than living up to others' expectations. This has worked for me numerous times and has really helped me decrease the pressure, because it's easier to let yourself down than let others down.
2) Know the meaning of 'immature'- I can't tell you how many times throughout my school life I have encountered the word 'immature'. Growing up is indeed a challenge and we all grow at our own paces, and it is completely possible that you either grow up too fast or too slow. In fact, I can't think of a certain 'perfect pace' of growth- we are all either too fast or too slow. And people, since they love judging each other so forking much, will always, always compare their rate of growth to yours, and label you as a too-fast grower (slut), a too-slow grower (kid), or normal (friends/crushes).
Since 'immaturity' is a subjective term, I think it's hard to pinpoint a proper definition without pissing some people off, but I can tell you for sure that there is a difference between being 'immature' and being 'fun' and being a druggie. So this kid a year younger than me used to be called immature because, well, she threw tantrums over the smallest things(so yes, she actually was immature). Her so-called mature classmates sneered and looked at her like that critic in Ratatouille... wait let me find a picture...
They would often boast of the alleged sublimity of smoking cigars over petty things such as keeping your grades up, and called the kid immature. So now what? Youuu guessed it! She started smoking too because she thought that would make her *cough* mature.
LISTEN UP EVERYONE BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU WHAT 'BEING MATURE' ACTUALLY/ MORE OR LESS MEANS. And I'm forced to scream this out because there is seemingly a lot of unnecessary confusion over this word. I'll tell you what is NOT maturity.
>Criticizing others and calling them 'immature' does not make you mature.
>Smoking does not make you mature.
>Seeming dead, sad, fastidious, or exaggeratedly thoughtful does not make you mature.
>Dressing like Madonna when you're 8 does not make you mature.
>Being stubborn does not make you mature.
On the other hand-
>Accepting others for who they are makes you mature.
>Being courteous to even the meanest of people makes you mature.
>Having a sense of individuality makes you mature.
>Respecting people of all ages makes you mature.
>Being diplomatic makes you mature.
>Being open-minded and flexible in opinions makes you mature.
So yeah. I hope it's clear now. Hmph.
3) How important are social networks?- Virtually everyone has an account on Facebook. In fact, one of the first things that people do to check you out is go on your Facebook profile. Then they send you a request. Then they stalk you. Now I know that many people argue that facebook is in no way a determinant of what a person is like, and it's true, more or less. Of course, we should judge people by who they are in real life rather than what they seem like through a social network. Unfortunately, people aren't that perfect or considerate. We all are, ultimately, going to check out each others' facebook pages and sort of guess about others' personalities.
In that case, why not just make your profile a reflection of who you actually are? I have often been surprised to meet super friendly and normal-seeming people in real life, but online, they are portrayals of raunchy boudoir photography. Like, whyy would you do that? Are you trying to impress the pedos who stalk hot chicks and send creepy messages like "heyyyyzzz gurl, will u b ma frnd??" People just have a way of assuming that you are the same person online and in real life. So the next time I see you, if you tok lyk dis on Facebook, you'd better tok lyk dis in real life too. And you better pout and kiss the floor or whatever creepy pictures you have posted on facebook. -.-
But at the same time, don't give so much importance to social media that you forget about real life! Key is balance. Now I know that the party never happened unless you have uploaded pictures of a dopey kid hanging on the streetlight with a wedgie *bad memories*. And I know that you don't have a boyfriend unless there are pictures of you both having a candlelight dinner wherever people go for candlelight dinners. But can't these picture-taking sessions be controlled? Okay, I agree, I WANT to take that picture with you before we go for that movie because we are both so effing dressed up, but maybe we can take like two pictures and then actually watch the movie? And don't you be snapchatting in the middle of the movie when Chulbul Pandey splashes the blood from his forehead wound into the pupils of his mortal enemy!!! There is NOTHING more annoying than disrupting me in my movie-mode. Ugh so annoying! I missed the epic loathsome speech he gave because of your distractions!
4) Don't be a hypocrite- There are three things that I dislike fiercely- amusement parks (I know, I'm so boring), cinnamon (I know, I'm not human), and HYPOCRITES. Like what if Hippocrates was a hypocrite? "One should not study medicine and experiment on people because I'm a lover of humanity and don't want people to die from my failed medicinal experiments" or something like that. What if he stopped experimenting and threw all the doctors in the dungeon?
There have been so many instances when people look at popular people with a martyrdom and be like "psh. Popularity is so over-rated". But don't you be psh-ing me! I know there are thousands of people out there who try to 'stand out' by trying to restrain themselves from conventionality, but in most cases, you just end up fitting in with the label of people called hypocrites.
What I'm trying to say is, don't be telling me that it's stupid to be popular and that all popular people are brainless, when you know that that's not always true and that you crave their lives. This is just like the movies when the new girl hangs out with the geeky chess nerd who is allergic to cheese and his sister who wears retainers and a helmet. She pretends to not notice the football captain but when she ends up with him and ignores her earlier friends, she has no words. It's OKAY to want to be popular, it's okay to want attention! Also, it's okay to admit that you are thin because you think it's too mean to be proud of one's physique when one is next to a fat girl. It's okay to take compliments once in a while and say 'aww thankss!' instead of being too modest and saying 'noo, I'm not pretty, only you are'. There are so many examples!!! Why can't people just admit that they are a little selfish and move on!
Okay yes I know that there may be people who are not being hypocrites, rather they probably actually don't want to be popular, think they are fat, and are too insecure to accept compliments. You can just ignore all that I said then, as long as you are being a genuine person.
5) Dating 50 people does not make you cool- I knew this guy a few years ago who had made a bet with one of his friends that he would date 30 girls in 3 months. So precisely 10 girls per month. So he indulged himself in a journey by charming girls with his flirting and breaking up with them for stupid made-up reasons. However, during this journey, he met a girl (I think that was his 26th girlfriend or something) whom he actually liked and wished to spend some time with. However, the bet had to be finished. After a week of happiness, he painfully broke up with her, leaving the girl heartbroken. The girl did, eventually, find out about the bet and hated his guts for it, and she also found out that the boy had planned to date her again after dating 4 more girls. Why are people so.. stupid? -.-
When people judge relationships by quantity rather than quality, it only tells me how unstable they are. I don't understand why people take pride in declaring things like "I have dated 17 times in the past 6 days", because to me, that means that you broke up/others broke up with you 17 times in the past 6 days. Is that how terrible and shameless a person you are? Wouldn't it make much more sense to have a long, happy relationship with one or two people and end up getting married to them? People, I tell you.
6) Remember that you are an individual- and not merely a part of a group. Act in a way that allows people to separate you and treat you as an individual. When people look at you, they shouldn't see a clump of chewed cud because, eh, who wants to be chewed cud? Don't be needy or clingy towards other people because it's really annoying to others and you put yourself across as a dependent, insecure person. This is especially noticeable in relationships. Many people want to date because they feel like no one loves them, but being with a certain someone might make them feel important. But that doesn't mean you should constantly stick to that person and have your ego fed by that person because, well, you're not a baby! Take care of yourself!
Of course, I know that we are all desperate, depraved human beings, and this independence is something that comes with time. In twelfth grade, I found myself scurrying about the school alone, searching for teachers and counselors and not giving a crap about where my friends are. I'd take the initiative to search for my teachers and ask them for extra classes because I knew that it was MY future and my friends have, ultimately, not much of a role in it. When you're filling out college apps, of course admission cares about your social life, but there are other things that matter too. There was a point when I'd skip classes with my friends so we could chill out, but eventually I realized that I didn't want to skip classes because I needed my grades!
If you have the assertiveness to be an individual and try out for the soccer team even if none of your friends are and you're scared to be alone, it doesn't matter if you're hanging out with a group of losers because as long as you are you, people will see you as an individual and respect you. Besides, being independent and trying new things by yourself is also a great way to make new friends. It took me years to realize this and become independent, and well, now I really do feel accomplished.
7) But don't be a complete lone wolf- Needless to say, there are many advantages of having friends because you do depend on them to an extent. This is a bad example, but let me tell you that throughout 12th grade, I did not have or bother to write down my school time table. So every day, I went to school totally clueless with a bunch of books in my bag, hoping that I have brought the right ones. I relied completely on my friends to tell me which class I have, and what homework I have, but again, I'm in no way recommending this behavior to you because that's just me being irresponsible hehe. School would be completely different without my beloved friends and all the crazy things we did together were what made school worth all the studies and pressure.
Also, I'm not saying you should restrict your friendship solely to students. Gone are the days when only the class nerd befriended the teachers. In fact, my teachers were all pretty cool and great to talk to, so we were all sort of friends with them. Of course, there are several advantages of befriending teachers too and even if teachers are supposed to be impartial, they might show at least a little remorse over having to punish you if you are on friendly terms with the teacher. But I'm not saying that you should take advantage of teachers that way... just be a little friendly and open up your heart and it will definitely pay off!
Also, there are several ways of deepening your friendship with others that I'd like to quickly share-
>Get a smartphone- I didn't have a smartphone for a really long time, but when I finally got one, like 2 years ago, my friendship with others instantly got closer through an assortment of apps.
>Bring lip balm or tic tacs to school- I don't know how it might work in your region, but in my school, whenever anyone would bring any one of these two things, that person would instantly get famous. Every one wants some lip balm or tic tacs! The second you open a pack, you make instant, if not temporary, friends.
>Watch TV shows- If there is anything I learned about high school conversations, it is that they mostly revolve around the hotness of Ian Somenhalder, Nathan and Mike Ross. There are many TV shows that I love but I'm usually too lazy to watch all the episodes, but then when I go to school the next day, I'm at a loss. "OMG IAN SWALLOWED A PURPLE BAROMETER DID YOU WATCH" "OH YEAH HIS EX WIFE GOT PREGNANT" "YEAH HERCULES DIED IN THAT BABY STROLLER".
There are two things you can do in such a situation: a) Watch that show. Find out about Meredith's spree to Elfin Grot or whatever, or b) Learn to change the topic. I would pretend to understand whatever my friends are talking about and make up stories of my own, thereby confusing them and then I force them to talk about water coolers.
Okay, I'm kidding.
>Feign an interest in what others have to say- I am often very, very bored by other people. "Yeah omg my toe has a carbuncle so I put a tissue over it". But I pretend to be interested- "omg really?! Why did you put the tissue though? You could also put toilet papers, facial towels, notebook papers, etc." What the heck am I saying... Anyway, eventually your feigned interest might just turn to real interest.
8) Bad days make great blog entries- It is TYPICAL. So typical that every cowboy from every century would have experienced it. When you're having a bad day, don't think that it is the end of the world! Issues that seem like the biggest issues has a way of eventually make you realize how stupid you have been. I used to freak out over the smallest pimples, but when no one would notice (and once I got my hands on these wonderful Tinted Moisturizers), I just didn't care! When the guy you like dumps you and you release all the waterworks, including urine, various digestive juices, and sweat from your body, you will eventually realize that the guy is a loser jerk who snogs beef jerky all day. And if you still need some reassurance, how about I tell you that bad days make great blog entries? If you write it down, I promise you'll laugh about it some time later in life.
But yes, I'm sure there are some big issues that also happen, and that are not typical. We all go through ups and downs in school, and sometimes the downs take you underground and you have to break through the asphalt to rise again. In that case, it is important to not lose hope. At the end of the day, it's just school. And time ticks on. Tough times will pass and there is a bright future ahead, filled with coconuts, palm trees, and college interviews (wanted to add some realism). When something bad happens, try sharing the incident with your friends, because most of the time, you'll end up laughing.
For example, one day I was walking down the stairs by myself when suddenly I tripped and fell, twisting my ankle just the way I had fantasized twisting Candace's neck from Phineas and Ferb. I fell down and looked around, but no one was there, and somehow limped my way back to my classroom, fighting back tears. But then I saw my friends who quickly came to my rescue and plopped me on a chair. I told them that I fell down because I was lost in my own world, and then we all laughed at my careless paralysis and moved on. They limped with me to give me company and carried me to my bus at the end of the day. If you guys are reading this, hehe thanks guys. <3
We all go through problems during adolescence but hey, you do get out eventually!
I promise you and assure you and you can tell everybody (I'm listening to 'The Man' by Aloe Blacc as we speak) that you will get out of it! All the problems are temporary, even the permanent ones! Life has a way of pushing us forward. I have been through so much, so many unimaginable things, but instead of allowing the sad experiences to make me a weak person, I learned from those experiences. I learned to cope with problems, face situations and be brave! And you will too. Trust me, by the time you get out of school, and finished college, you will have turned into a strong individual, ready to take over the world! YES THAT'S RIGHT. Life is not that bad!!!
You know what. If I'll make this blog entry any longer I'll be blamed for posting novels instead of blog entries, and die of hand cramps myself. But I think I'll make a separate blog entry to cheer people up. I'll call it the.. eh... Encouragement Post! Maybe. Idk. But I will post such an entry!!
So yeah, I guess that's it. I wanted to write so much more but again, my blog entries are too large already. But I'll add a few more side notes that I had wanted to elaborate on earlier, but don't have the time to - be nice to your parents, bad days are not 'bad days' till it's 12 midnight so you still have the time to change the bad day to a good day, when you're with your friends and people stare at you, don't be embarrassed because they're probably jealous they can't have as much fun as you're having, don't starve yourself, bullies are bullies because they're trying to hide their insecurities, live for yourself and not for others, and lastly. You are not trying to gain the approval, or likes, of others. It's your life. Approve yourself first.
PHEW! So there you have it! A little bit of inspiration from this exhausted teen. If you actually when on iTunes and played "The Man" while reading that third last paragraphs... trust me do that, it made so much sense :O
Also, you can check out my previous entry-
How to study like a bau6 (because bau5 is too mainstream) for some study tips because well, believe it or not, school involves some academics too. Anyhoo, I'm going to uh, nurse my hand cramp now. This post took 5 actual hours to type. I need some rest. Oh god. I hope this post has left you inspired and/or nostalgic.
Love you all! Also, if you read the whole thing. Did you notice I actually used 'Elfin Grot' reference? Haha. Heh. ELFIN GROT. I'm awesome for using that. I know I am. Psh.
Also, it's April Fools day. But I promise whatever I said here is totally legit. Hehehe.
PS- Grey's anatomy dialogues ftw?
