The Comeback Entry- Explanations and lies.

Dear esteemed readers,

I have shamelessly abandoned my blog for an accurate 3 months with no useful entry whatsoever and for that, I'm sorry. This entry is yet another one of my useless entries (unfortunately for you), in which I'll attempt to explain my lack of blog activity, which would mostly consist of lies.

So here is a list of the possible reasons for why I haven't been blogging. You may or may not believe them all.

• Getting used to college- I have been drowning in work. If one assignment is finished 30 seconds before the deadline, another one has to be started (and completed) within the next fifteen hours. This could of course be blamed on my slacking nature, but it also has to do with the work we have and how busy I have been.

• Writing for other purposes- It is possible that my guilt for not blogging has been lessened due to my employing of similar skills in other fields. For instance, I have been writing for my university's blog. I have been writing for professors. I have been writing for competitions, etc. So it is possible that I must have been filling this void of not blogging by replacing it with other related activities. I know, I'm a terrible person, nothing can replace you blog!

• Short term language-memory loss- Due to an unfortunate accident (I ate too much paneer one night), I may have a glitch in my neurological functions which ceased any language or etymology to be remembered and propelled out of my vocal chords. As a result, I lost my ability to write or speak. I have been in the ICU for four days now. Today I'm feeling a little better so I asked one of the doctors to become my speakwrite and type this out for me.

• Herpes diagnosis- The initial excitement of college life led me to experiment with various reckless activities. One of those activities has resulted in my diagnosis with herpes, for which I am currently undergoing treatment. The disease freaked me out and caused sores in necessary areas, and therefore I have refrained from blogging.

• Writer's block- The past few months in college has forced me to confine my writing to academic and creative essays for which I require my textbooks and various other research methodologies. As a result, I have forgotten the simple task of blogging due to its informal and personal nature, and I can't think of much to say other than about Shakespeare's plagiarism, domestic sexuality, existentialist theorists, and a million other things that I can never kick out of my brain because they have been deemed unavoidable.

• Laziness- When I do get some free time from my busy schedule, I spend it doing reckless activities (refer to Herpes diagnosis point) or catching up on sleep. Sometimes I sleep for so long that I feel tired even after waking up, thus restricting my day's activities to eating, brushing my teeth, and sleeping again. The thought of doing something this productive is just suppressed beneath all this lethargy.

• Lack of access to internet- I have been travelling a lot in honor of my new profession as a photojournalist, which occurred soon as I discovered my unwarranted talent of taking pictures and my decision to stop attending college because I am a pro at what I do. Since my new profession and lifestyle requires a lot of travelling, I have to carry extra sanitary napkins and tampons, and survive without internet. 

• Avoiding on purpose- My abandoning of the blog is part of a furtive mission that shall only be revealed the second I figure out what it is. The mission demands 3 exact months of blogging inactivity so that's why I have been trying to achieve the same.

So yes, these are some of the reasons for my blogging inactivity. This is pathetic, I know. What has life come to. Nevertheless, I just want to let you know that I have been checking out my statistics and visiting this page every now and then, and I am thoroughly impressed that I still get an insane amount of page views everyday, despite my blog being generally crappy. So thank you for sticking around, loyal readers!

As I fake-promise in pretty much every entry, I'm going to fake-promise once again that I will try to blog as regularly as possible. However, I can not predict how much time I'll get so please, please remain hopeful of a new entry in case I do become inactive once again, and believe me, my ideas are at their prime, I do have a bunch of stuff planned but I just hope I'll get time to execute them in the best way possible in order to do justice to this brilliant blogging platform and my brilliant readers.

PS- How many/which of these explanations do you believe are true? Is it fairly obvious? Comment below 'cause I want to know! 

Much gratitude (and excitement for blogging again!),

How To: Procrastinate (like me).

Before I begin this entry, I'm super excited to share with you how a friend of mine (who takes pride in calling himself Zinghai) reacted to my previous blog entry by creating this lovely artwork.

This picture perfectly summarizes my blog, about how weird I am. It is totally relevant and has to do with something I had typed in that previous entry. Extra points for those who successfully decipher the relevance. 

So my sincere apologies for slacking and ditching my blog entirely for like. a month. I am aware that this is unacceptable, and I feel really quite miserable for not being able to find time. College is amazing. And by that I mean that though some aspects of college (like student life) is genuinely amazing, the workload is a-maze-ing. So amazing that I'm stuck inside a maze with a rapidly decreasing supply of maize. <-- Isn't my wordplay amazing? Or are you saying "ah-may-be"?

Crap, I'm addicted.

Anyhoooo, I think the whole purpose of this blog entry is to show you how weird I am and how I've just been procrastinating amazingly. Though I wonder who Zing Lee is. Ah-maybe he's Zinghai's cousin. OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

I think I'm having trouble focusing. I'm supposed to be typing this entry, but I'm thinking about various Oriental names now. Also, I'm thinking about shoeboxes.

^Ladies and gentlemen, that's how you procrastinate.
I'll post a better entry asap, I promise. I should probably get back to my amazing college workload and get something done.

Here's a link to my previous How To series post, which is also amazing btw.

MUCH LOVE, (Because if you still follow my blog, despite me posting only like once a century, you are seriously amazing and that word, buddy, has no pun intended, and only pure meaning filling it to the brim.)

Fun ways to be a V-Day buzzkill.

This entry was supposed to be posted on valentines day but I didn't post it then because... I'll leave that a mystery heheh.
Okay no, stop thinking ew.

Well since I'm wonderful and terrible at the same time, I want to help you be a valentines day buzzkill. Why would you want to be a buzzkill, you ask? Because they add a little spice to the typical cheesiness of v-day! Also because you're mean and a terrible person phwahaha. Other than sulking and sighing all day at whatever your SO does for you, I think these tips might help you a little. At the same time, it can help you reject annoying cactus thorns that cling to your clothes in the fierce desert of love filled with mirages and thirst. (aah the metaphors I come up with)

But hey, don't forget to read the disclaimer in the end as well.

PS- Grey's anatomy dialogues ftw?

1) Person: Will you go to the movies with me this Saturday? :)
You: I'm against multimedia content.

2) Person: Truth is......................................................................................... I like you a lot.
You: Truth is................................................................ you read too many Facebook statuses.

3) Person: I love you!
You: Duly noted.

4) Person: I think we should stop pretending and just admit that we're crazy about each other.
You: I wasn't pretending to be batman I actually am him why won't anyone listen to me

5) Person: Kiss me.
You: Ki-ki-kiss me, infect me with your love and fill me with your poison take me.....

6) Person: Will you go out for dinner with me?
You: Yes but let me just bring my poor and hungry family along. We never say no to free food!

7) Person: I'm gonna take you home with me tonight!
You: Alright, but my feng shui skills are less than average, just sayin'/

8) Person: I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
You: *farts* You sure?

9) Person: I promise I will never ever ever ever upset you.
You: Okay Taylor Swift! <3

10) Person: You always know the right words to say to me!
You: That was the alcohol speaking...

11) Person: Hey babe, I want us to get back together.
You: YA CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.

12) Person: You smell so nice all the time.
You: Oh so the Swahili boar dung worked?

13) Person: My heart skips a beat every time I see you.
You: I stop my heart from beating every time I see you.

14) Person: Your smile just brightens up my day!
You: I stopped brushing 5 days ago.

15) Person: Can I get you a drink?
You: Yes, I'd like onion juice with garlic cream on top.

16) Person: I have changed, I promise!
You: No you're still wearing that Chick Magnet shirt you wore three days ago.

17) Person: I don't know what I'd do without you.
You: I don't know what to do with you.

18) Person: I think about you all the time.
You: I knoww, I should probably return that money I stole from you.

19) Person: Run away with me.
You: No but I can skip away with you.
Person: Hahahaha. Not funny.
You: Then I'll just skip away from you, meanie.

20) Person: Will you marry me?
You: Wait let me consult my desi parents, cousins, astrologers, aunts, uncles, the hairy hobo who lives outside my neighborhood, the school nurse, the bartender, Ramu the cow, tea leaves, your mailman, your physician, and your ex girlfriend too, just to be sure.

21) Person: We just have so much in common, it's like we are meant to be.
You: We are siblings and were separated at birth, I found out three days ago. It's okay though, I think incest is cool too.

22) Person: I can't live without you.
You: I'm sure there are better doctors in this world!

23) Person: I can't believe you're all mine.
You: I can't believe it either.

24) Person: I love you!
You: I love you too Lyla!
Chad: Who's Lyla wtf.
You: I am.
Chad: What... anyway I'll forget that. I love you!
You: Lylaaa, I love you so much!

25) Person: *hugs you*
You: *scream really loudly in their ear* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

26) Person: I love you!
You: Sorry I didn't hear that! There's a lot of earwax in my ear it seems.... please help me get it out? It's softened a little now that I've been poking it for some time. The doctor said its occurrence has decreased ever since I started using sanitary earbuds instead of that dirty pencil at home. I gave it to you once actually...

Disclaimer: Firstly, heheh I don't expect you to use these dialogues in real life! because some of these are lame and some of these might hurt others. Remember, whoever says these nice things to you, no matter how cheesy they may sound, mean well, so don't be mean to anyone who says "I love you" to you. We should all be very sensitive so if you are sure that you don't want to be sensitive/you know this person won't take it too seriously, it's okay to be a buzzkill. :)

ALSEW, this post reminds me of my epic Fun Insults entry that you must check out, whether or not you are a buzzkill! Also, I love cactus, they don't annoy me one bit. Though they do seem annoyed themselves. Don't you think most cactus look as if they are making some suggestive hand gestures? NOW WHO'S MEAN.

Jk I love all vegetation, good night. 

The meaning of Year.

A few days ago when 2013 was ending, I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling very sentimental. I don't know about you, but for me, the end of a year doesn't always feel like a closure. Or a beginning, for that matter. It did when I was younger. In fact, till I was about 13, every year I would take this huge strip of paper and write WELCOME (insert year)!!! with dots and squiggles and lines and every color of the rainbow with stars and hearts and every shape imaginable. But as the years grew, I realized what a 'year' could be symbolic of. (so this is where my 'find-the-deeper-meaning' mania kicks in). 

So what exactly is a year? 

365 days? 366 if it's a leap year?

52 weeks?

One summer, long winter, an autumn, a spring, and possibly a monsoon?

A school year. August to June. Then June to August to June. 

Lifespan? If you die young, if you're a certain insect, if you're a druggie, if you're an oxygen-deprived newborn?

A few diseases, a few hesitant appointments to the dentist with the coughing old lady and the braces-adorned receptionist's teeth. 

A marriage. A relationship. A friendship. An affair. A crush. Struggle to get over someone. A long battle for divorce?

Battle for justice for someone who died. A new pizza place that eventually ran out of business.

Phases. Emotions. Happy phase, sad phase, longing phase, hyper phase, emotional phase, reflective phase.

An anniversary. Your 18th birthday. An artist's short-lived fame. An acronym that went viral.

A struggle. A war. A battle. An argument. A fear. 

Continuation of a habit. Continually trying to rid of a habit. Rehab. Recovery. Miss Manners Classes. Yoga sessions. Anger Management sessions. Medication. The prescribed time to wear your retainers.

An academic course, badminton classes, your phone before you dropped it in the toilet.

And there are many other things. But do they all begin here, this very moment? Do they all end here, at this very moment (assuming it's January 1st right now). 

Are you okay with putting so much pressure on this one teeny 24 hour-ed day right here, where you are going to end it all, end all the fear of the cold weather, end all those feelings you had for someone, end all your aspirations of becoming a pilot, end becoming an alcoholic ....begin rehab, begin reliving your life, begin letting go, begin trying harder.

For all it could mean, you could make this very day your starting and ending point for all the things I mentioned above, things that you've been dying to change for ages, things that you've overlooked. You could end it all and begin a new life right here, on this first day of this first month.... but does that mean on the eve of New Year you sit in your terrace and go like "Okay, 2 more days till I become a new person" and then wait till it's exactly 12 so you suddenly take off that purple bandanna you're wearing and replace it with a helmet? 

You don't need to wait that long. What you should realize is that, if you want, every single day, every single moment, THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, could be a new beginning or an ending. It could be the beginning of a beginning or a beginning of an ending as well, if it's a process that you plan to initiate. TODAY, no wait, THIS MOMENT, THIS NANOSECOND could be the beginning of an year even if it may be like 18th of April. 

Back to why I wasn't feeling sentimental... For me, I control the day. I control when it begins, I control when it ends. If I want I could make the sun rise at 7pm and begin something. If I want I could set the sun at 10am. I could stretch the sun of my mind out into a rectangle and be like, okay sun, you're going to rise starting from this moment, and you should end rising by 5pm tomorrow. Then you can start setting and end setting within around 11 days. 

Okay, that's it for now. I'm so sleepy and again, I know I'm going to regret posting this entry when I see this in the morning/afternoon when I wake up, when I know that I myself rarely follow this wonderful advisory logic that I've just sort of put in words, that I always forget that I have the power to control the sun (of my mind, ofc), that every day can be a new beginning/ending, if I set my mind to it.

But anyway, I don't think people should take that as an excuse and stop celebrating New Year's. It's still a very cool concept.

Happy 2014! :)

Bonus- My doodles.

Exams are round the corner and I'm feeling really crappy.... and artistic.

Now you know I don't lie when I claim I doodle a bit too much. And that also, at the wrong time. 

So this was made by me with a ballpoint pen whilst studying Psychology. I think this is the structure of my mind. Or maybe the face of a fish diving into some papyrus ocean. 

I think this is just me wasting ink. A bunch of overlapping squiggles.

There's an upside down alphabet series, interesting. I like this one because it's a bit more organized. It looks like different layers of soil, or ocean. You know those pictures in your textbooks showing the formation of oil layers... 

Again, this one was made on the margin of my notebook. I don't know about you, but I see dancing fish bones, tentacles, worms, sperm, and musical notes. It's a party in the ocean! Where some people got extra naughty.... 

These are three different pages I somehow put together in one picture. The first one reminds me of the underworld with people dying and bones falling, etc. The second one looks like the bones coming together and back to life, and turning into pretty squirly insects. The third one looks like germs and thorns. 

This could be Rapunzel's hair in bunches. Of course it is tangled, what do you expect when you keep throwing your hair down the window for strange men?

I rarely use pencil to write because a) We are required to write in pen at school, and b) It's too light. But pencils come handy in doodling because you're able to shade in things. This doodle could be the inside of a body. I see bones and flesh. (Does that make me someone with homicidal tendencies?)

I included this picture because it is the most common thing I doodle. You may or may not have noticed these curly squirls everywhere in my doodles. I can't stop drawing them for some reason! 

 Yay, an intricate blue sun. 

This looks like a war.... between fish eggs? 

For some reason these remind me of those people in movies with French mustaches and instrumental music. Maybe a Charlie Chaplin comedy. Except with a historical twist. A historical comedy with swords and music and French people!!! 

The OCD in me is coming out in this one! I need perfect gaps and straight lines. 

This is Diwali and what you're seeing is an X-ray version of a firecracker blowing up. 

Brushing up on my alphabets and basic geometry!           

You may or may not have noticed that once again, this is one of my margin arts. There are numbers for points that I was writing on the other side. Again you can see a lot of curls and squirls and everything is dancing! 

Ugh, I give up. My doodles are indescribable, un-analyzable. I have no clue what I make. 

I swear this is only like one-twentieth of the amount of doodles that I make, ALL of them while studying for exams. You can't blame me.... exams make me do this, and well, exams are neverending so my doodling is also neverending. One a similar note, you know what this reminds me of? My blog post on Extreme Doodling. That doodle might be a little more interesting. 

In the meantime, where do you think these doodles of mine will be the most useful? I've gotten several suggestions, so I created this poll: (Psst. Fellow bloggers. Are you wondering how I added this poll INSIDE my blog entry? Here's the secret. Except it's a little flawed, I had to modify the method a little to make this work. Instead of highlighting and copy-pasting the iframe tag, as described in the link, you should first publish your blog entry, publish your poll, then SEARCH FOR THE HEADING OF THE POLL, NOT THE IFRAME TAG, then copy-paste it into the html of your blog entry. I know this sounds a little complicated, but trust me it's worth it. Thank you whatever little of html I learned in 10th grade! )

I hope this poll works! -.- I'm so sorry if it doesn't!

How can these doodles be used?

Aah, another Liebsterr!

I'm super excited about this one because a) it's been a while, and b) I'm SICK of exams. 
If there is anything that studying has taught me, it is only that I am wonderful at doodling. Seriously, I don't think I have ever doodled so much ever! You won't believe this... I cancelled all my plans with all my friends, told them I'm studying, then sat home with the book open in front of me, but I wasn't reading. I was doodling. So yes, basically I ditched my comrades for 3-4 hours of antagonizing Doodleland.

I want to show my gratitude to Kusum from Far Beyond Skyline because she most certainly knows how to make good decisions in life ;) Thank you so much! 

"Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. It’s appreciation from fellow bloggers and your chance to introduce yourself to other awesome bloggers.

If you receive this award, you are expected to:

1. Post 11 facts about yourself

2. Answer the 11 questions the tagger has given you
3. Tag 11 more Bloggers (with no more than 200 followers; no tagging back) and make 11 questions for them
4. Tell the people you tagged that you did."

1) I was born in the middle of the Atlantic ocean as the transgender seahorse offspring of two very romantic octopuses. 

2) Sorry, I lied. That's the second fact. I tell a lawt of white lies. Maybe that is why my nose is so long, hmm. Oh, and don't worry, I don't lie in my blog (usually). Psst. Did you see the thing on the right sidebar? The Indian biking badge? Totally un-false. Maybe. 

3) I have really bad carsickness but I freakin love travelling! It is a paradox. I know, who wants to get to their travel destination after barfing out the remnants of whatever little digestive system they had? (Please don't get grossed out, I rarely barf, it's mostly just nausea). But once you get to the place where you were trying to get to, it's all worth it. And another thing. If ever I travel, I like to blend in with the local people of the place I'm in. For example, if I'm in a remote Indian village, heck yes you'll see me walking around carrying matkas on my head! 

4) I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A NOVEL LATELY. Omg, this is so exciting. I know it's not really a 'fact' about me, but I'm so euirhgeuirhging excited! It's a horror/thriller, and it is the most exciting thing in my life at the moment. I've been trying to control the urge to sit and write all day because of these putrid exams, but once they get over, I'm just going to write all day and all night! 

5) I have a very strange memory. If I met you 40 years ago (pretend I existed 40 years ago), I will meet you now and say "You remember that time you pulled my cape and then I breathed in through my nostrils?" Seriously, I just have very strange memory of things. I might remember the smallest insignificant details as background to the larger ones. Sometimes, my brain gets confusing. "Oh, my bad, that was someone else's nostrils." 

6) My favorite fruit is watermelon, and my favorite vegetables are mushrooms. I'm so obsessed with these two things! I use watermelon lipbalm, watermelon shower gel, and I'm pretty sure I'll be the first one to buy a mushroom shampoo if they ever start one. I mean, they have Beer and Champagne shampoo, so why not Mushroom, right. Put me in an island with just these two delicacies, and I will become a super fanshy sumo banshee. 

7)  i lyk 2 tok lyk dis @ tymz. I don't care what people say about ppl hu tok lyk dis, but I personally feel that those people have a lot of creativity to come up with such condensed forms of writing. Sure, it looks like ants on my screen, but I occasionally speak wid mah franz lyk dis 2 b funnzzyy. On the other hand, I'm not very fond of abbreviations. I don't mind a little YOLO with my FYI at times-these are very extensively used. But maybe it's because I'm just technically un-brilliant, but when I see acronyms such as SMH or IDCWYDISHT (I Don't Care What You Do But I Still Hate You), I hate having to go on urban dictionary to look it up. 

8) There are three principles that I live (try to live) by- 1) Acceptance, 2) Mutual Respect, and 3) Open Mindedness. These three keynotes are the formula to my little brain cell DJ, and I try my best to bring out the best in me through these guidelines in every possible occasion. But again, don't get me wrong, I'm not all HEY-LOOK!-THERE'S-A-PONY-BY-THAT-RAINBOW-RIVER! type, I do have my moments when following these guidelines become reallyyy hard. 

9) I don't fancy getting flowers as gifts. You know, when you go to some social gathering, and these people offer you this huge bouquet of flowers. I can vividly remember getting so many bouquets of all sorts of flowers- Daisies, Azaleas, Lilacs, Jasmines, Galaxea, Preenasia, Eurasia ....Mediterranean Wildflower? Okay I guess I got names of flowers confused with geographical locations (FAIL). Anyhoo, my point is that yes, I most certainly think it is very generous of you to bestow upon me such wonderful floral vegetation, but let's be real now. Yeah, those bouquets are just going to sit there and rot. One flower is okay, six flowers are perfect, but more than that, and even attempting to put those flowers in vases simply end up attracting a multitude of insects and avid gardeners. 

Now if you ever meet me, you know what not to gift me ;D 

10) I'm a poet and I very absolutely well forgo it. 

11) I absolutely love background vocals and harmonies in songs. I think it's the best thing ever about music. Whenever I listen to a song, I always pay attention to the background as well, and it all comes out so beautifully! I know instruments work well with songs too, but I think harmonies are absolutely amazing because it is the human voice and not instruments that makes the special music. Classic favorite- Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen; Contemporary favorite- Royals by Lorde.  

Questions from Kusum:

1. What is the worst punishment you got in school?
When I was very young, I was unfortunate to be a part of a school that still had corporal punishment. I haven't been exposed to such severe ways of punishment for years now, but I still remember this one day in fourth grade that fills me with fear and hatred. I remember being slapped on my face, TWICE by my Hindi teacher, for not doing my homework in my homework notebook. I did my homework, but it was in my classwork notebook. 

I think this experience was what sort of triggered in me a lasting war that I have been willingly involved in, a fight to end all unfair things about the Indian education system. I spoke to a few of my extremely old friends from that school, and they said corporal punishment is definitely less severe now, but there are still some teachers who follow this brutal means of punishment. I truly hope that I personally will be able to meet these teachers one day and give them a piece of my mind. And the law. 

2. Why is your best friend your best friend?
Haha, I have actually wondered about this a couple of times. Now what is the typical idea of a 'best friend'? I always used to get those definitions from movies like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, etc. However, yes my best friend does hold a few characteristics of those girls in the movie (I'm sure she has watched the movie recently for the 9417594th time, during the last 48 hours), but I still think she is much different. I think I address my best friend as my best friend, because she indeed is the best person to be with. I mean, I can just sit with her and not even say hi, and we can, idk hang out? But the thing is, with my 'best friend', I can bring out the 'best side' of me, i.e. the side that doesn't have to be fun ALL the time, the side that doesn't have to keep talking all the time, the side where I'm just me. And being with my best friend doesn't compel me to be any different. Lol snorterjee you readin this bro? 

3. Do you believe in ghosts?

I think the world would be a little more interesting with ghosts, but unfortunately I do not have an inch of belief in them. Though I am always the first one to freak out while watching a horror movie! 

4. What do you like the most about yourself?
I think one of the best things about myself is the fact that I take risks. And no, I'm not talking about sitting at the back of a rollercoaster with my legs swinging out (I'm terrified of amusement parks, actually). I'm talking about being different and sort of chilling with myself. I mean, right now itself I'm taking a risk. I'm supposed to be studying for an exam which will happen in about 3.2 days but I take this risk because I believe that I'm doing something productive. So even if tomorrow I fail my exam, if that failure allowed me to get appreciation for my blog, or if this blog entry made someone's day, I think I will be okay. I try my best to experience every nook and cranny of my life and learn from every mistakes I made. Because when I take risks, I obviously make mistakes. When I make mistakes, I make sure I don't make them again. And when I don't make them again, I learn. I learn, so I grow. I grow, so I feel amazing to look back.  

5. How happy are you today?
Aaah, why today out of all days! Today, I'm supposed to be anxious and upset because I just gave an exam, which didn't go as well as I had hoped it would go. There was this question, AND I WROTE A BEAUTIFUL ANSWER only to learn that the question had asked something slightly different. I feel like going on every social networking website, making an account, and typing fmlfmlfmlfml. However, I am also quite glad that I'm done with that exam and I won't have to worry about it for sometime. So yeah, my mood is a little masala right now. 

6. What is the best thing you have written so far?
THE NOVEL I'M WORKING ON. Seriously, I can't stop reading what I've written. I had often tried to write fiction before, but it always turned out so absurd and I would get so upset and delete them. I used to passionately write this short story with the title Pretty Broccoli (what the f) in 9th grade, but when I recently read it, I couldn't help but mourn about my immature writing skills. Now, however, I think I've gotten better, so after following Edgar Allen Poe's footsteps, blended with a little inspiration from a thriller that my friend was reading, I am going to finish writing my first piece of (hopefully completed) writing ever in this genre. 

On the scale of 1(worst) to 10(best):

7. your personality- 8? I really don't know actually :s

8. your city- 6- Don't get me wrong, I love my city, but even if New Delhi has the best city ever, it has some of the worst, most inhuman cases of rapes and child abuse. 

9. the last journey you had- My dadi has been staying with us, and she is a very religious person, so we have been taking her to every religious shrine in the country. Our last trip was Haridwar. It's an interesting city in the hills, with loads of cows around. I had only been there for rafting before, but this time we actually went into the city and looked at all the Temples and Gurudwaras and Mosques they had. And now, I have been stuck home for the past... 70 years? Going to the bathroom from my room is probably the biggest journey I have had since. -.-
OH CRAP I forgottt this is supposed to be rated on 1-10 :P Probably a 10. I had a great time. 

10. your driving skills- 1? I keep telling my dad to teach me driving but he's too busy, and tells me to enroll a driving class when I'm 18, because you only get a license when you're 18 in India. The closest I've come to 'driving' is starting the engine. I started the car engine by mistake once when I was in 6th grade. And well yeah, that is it. So yeah I give myself a point for that. 

11. the condition of your room- -800? My room is such a mess! Aarghh. There are books and clothes lying everywhere, and I recently found a 5 day old sandwich (untouched and packed) under my bed! I could've followed Homer (Simpson)'s footsteps and had it but it's just gross so I didn't. 

Okaayy, now 11 questions for the taggeees:

1) What is the best decision that you think you have ever made?

2) Last time you were embarassed? What did you do?

3) What do you do currently? (like are you a student, or pediatrician or a zookeeper...)

4) What is something you are terrible at?

5) Would you rather be a dinosaur or a centaur?

6) Which accent do you adore the most?

7)  Your idea of a perfect utopia?

8) Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

9) One word that you find really hard to spell/pronounce?

10) Did you/Do you have braces? 

11) Any unique/weird trait that you have? (for example, you probably laugh like a sneezing pressure cooker)

I am so sorry but I'm too lazy/busy to tag people, but I am just going to go and notify some awesome bloggers asap. Omg. Exams. Ef. 

❀ Ooh look! A flower, I wonder where that came from.... ❀❀❀❀❀ more flowers...OMG EVEN MORE..! ✿✿✿✿✿✿

Protect cows from firecrackers.

Lately, I have been wondering of the fate of the movie industry had I entered as Bella and starred in Twilight...
Robert Pattinson would not have the privilege of co-starring with me. In fact, a mosquito would deservedly replace him.

Okay, so maybe this love saga will be a little different, because the mosquito would be female, not have even 1/1000000th the looks of Pattinson, and make me itch with pleasure. So much pleasure, that I would go Diwali shopping to buy a backscratcher, instead of a new anarkali. (The backscratcher was on sale- 15 % off!!!!!!)  

That said, I must say I CAN'T WAIT FOR DIWALI! No, I'm not talking about the firecrackers. Or the ladoos. Or the sweet aunties who bring you little presents that you are forced to acknowledge. Or the smell of incense from all the prayers. Or the dressing up and posing for your peeps' instagrams. Or well, anything. 

I am actually looking forward to the abolishment of mosquitoes. 

I mean, it's not like I'm always a boring person who sits at home and laments about the sound of firecrackers bombarding my eardrums or the smoky air suffocating living and nonliving things. But unfortunately, I think the burden of experience has made me so. I just... I don't know, I don't find Diwali that amusing anymore. Ever since I had been little, I had held firecrackers in my hands and leapt with joy when they would burst before my eyes. I had gawked at the pretty lights covering my neighborhood balconies and loved the whole festivity that Diwali brings. But now, I'm not that amused. For me, the only part that I like about Diwali is, well of course, the mosquitoes that die because of the firecrackers, and also that Diwali serves as an excuse for me to call up people who I haven't spoken to in a while. 

Now, I know the kind of conversation you are expecting.

"Hey! Happy Diwali!!!"

"OMGG HIII OMGGG WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN SO LONG WHERE ARE YOU???"

"HAHAHA OMG I KNOW RIGHT?! I AM IN DELHI WHERE ARE YOU???"

"I AM IN BHUTAN OMG THIS IS CRAZY"

"I KNOW LIKE YOU ARE TALKING ALL THE WAY FROM BHUTAN AND I'M LIKE IN DELHI. YOU NEED TO COME BACK BRO"

"I WANNAA! DO YOU STILL WEAR BRACES??"

"NO. DO YOU STILL HAVE A UNIBROW?"

"NOPE! OMGG YOU MUST BE LIKE SO HOT RIGHT NOW"

"I KNOW RIGHT I AM HOT YOU MUST BE CRAZY HOT TOO MAN!"

"COME HOME DUDE LET'S HANG OUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!!!"

"OKAY I'LL COME!! CAN I BRING YOU SOMETHING? GREEN PEAS?"
"OMGGG I LOVE GREEN PEAS!"
"SRSLY?!? ME TOO!!!!"

"SRSLY?!?! WE ARE TWINS WHO GOT SEPARATED AT BIRTH!"

"AAAH CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU AND SHARE DNA!"

But unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way.

"Hey! Happy Diwali!!!"

"Um, thanks. Who is this btw?"

"Oh. My bad. It's me, Songbird!!"

"Son-ohhh yes! Songbird, of course! Hi! :)"

"Hi! How is your Diwali going?"

"It's nice!"

"It's nice? That's great!"

"Yeah!"

"Heh."

"Hm."

"Ha."

*awkward pause that lasts 3 seconds but feels like eternity*

"Hmm, well I have to go now. I am late for my cloth-wringing class."

"Hmm, even I'm late for my cloth-wringing class. I should also go."

"Okay bye!"

"Bye -.-"

You know what they say... Feeling someone's absence makes you fonder, or something. Well, sometimes, it just makes conversations awkward. I mean, honestly, I used to have loads of 'best friends' when I was younger, but eventually, I lost contact with most of them. Some of my friends grew up to become cow worshipers, others became cow eaters; some of them milk cows, whilst others use them as means of transport. (I visited a hilly town last week and there were cows everywhere there, so.. sorrzies xo) And when you are expected to speak to these people after years, things are bound to get awkward. Especially if you don't regularly speak to them and have absolutely no clue about who they are, or what they are like, or if they even remember you.  

Oh well. At least some of my friends are still the same. At least some of me is still the same. 

Unfortunately, the mosquitoes won't change. But they will be gone, at least for a few months! :D 

(Hope you found the 2 twilight and 1 mosquito references)

Oh, and by the way, you should protect cows from firecrackers. They really freak out when you go near them with a phooljhadi. Actually, not just cows. Even dogs freak out. But I knew this one dog who actually enjoyed firecrackers. His name was Rocky, and he belonged to my friend's uncle. But still, not all cows or dogs are the same and must be protected. 

Great, I'll stop now.  

Happy Diwali (it's on the 3rd)! 

Penguins.

Oh no. I watched Happy Feet again. NOOOOOOO.

Now I can't stop thinking, speaking, and dreaming penguins.


http://stuffpoint.com/penguins/image/144346/baby-penguin-picture/
Once upon a time, there was this really cute penguin. His name was Eldo, and he was very curious.


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbsVRQBpKu7_O5erH1dDQ4qQi1SJIfUsYualMG2rmS0nHeX1GHDyDepfUINoKPG4csxW_12IUguAYdMJZlNCN4pwZx8vuWO8MASEQoqeZ_8hnVBL__XmubIIKVUyhKhtcFA9ihUrdMxmdL/s1600/BabyPenguin_ROW881578549.jpg
He was also very sociable, and had a lot of friends who were small and cute like he was.


http://www.onlypositive.net/image.axd?picture=2012%2F8%2Fbaby-penguins.jpg
He also had this wonderful family, and a great fraternity of brothers who were so very kind. However, his brothers were party animals. Party birds, I mean. They loved to jingo @ da disco etc. etc.
However, Eldo occasionally felt left out. Perhaps it was because of the considerable age difference between his brothers and himself, or perhaps, he just wasn't the type.


http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3148/2441818966_a9a5653c3e.jpg
But he still loved them, and they would often chill out by playing an assortment of penguin games.

  
http://www.wallapa.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/ubuntu-penguin.jpg
He also enjoyed chilling at the beach.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9e/Penguins_walking_Moltke_Harbour,_South_Georgia,_British_overseas_territory,_UK-8.jpg
His brothers hung around the beach as well, but mostly to lament about girlfriends who dumped them.


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcz7PqHwA5WgZkDcWtR4GMSgjxmblwXiqSc_2JztuaOD7uLKma5oW9UNuQP0Q-6S2CGjVyoDKEHZ2vytbnSXvimM3jIp77yuQ1FKBDmtpg1s8cRxoKrx7u5T8rCGyUsE-sD7e03qxBnuA/s400/penguins.jpg
One day, as Eldo was returning from the beach, he saw a huge crowd of penguins. He went up to them to ask them what's up.


http://wikimotive.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/05/Cute-Penguin-Wallpaper-2013.jpg
"Don't you know?" his frenemy Bob said, "old Gustov died.


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9wUQeROfraEPYUW759SQUxbPb5nTv3YcZtbNanS-ChnJ-PmSnQU8xzrxjEKPG26RILsWywOf6jrOfOvHLrxCW2ZqNb3W8lMNAoQZ9tiQUEibNmQhE8FSfxVumAMnzLiMjy9aiiZt8Ip4/s1600/leap-of-faith-adelie-penguin-pictures.jpg
"People are suspicious that he killed himself. He wasn't a very happy man, you know. His wife left him because he won't pay his taxes, and he hadn't gotten his beak simonized in ages.


http://www.coolantarctica.com/gallery/penguins/emp_ranch3_lg.jpg
"Your father is burying the man. He's very sad, they used to be great pals."


http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/styles/node-gallery-display/public/emperor.jpg
Well, Eldo being the awesomely compassionate guy goes up to his father and asks him if he is alright.
"Yes," says his father. "Go home and have your fried fish. Your mother is away consoling Gustov's wife."


http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/19/article-2397040-1B5CC968000005DC-520_634x447.jpg
So Edlo reluctantly heads home, though he does flap his wings once or twice in disapproval of being denied the privilege of watching the penguin get buried.


http://www.freedesktopwallpapers4u.com/data/media/44/penguin-11.jpg
But as he walks, he sees this really hot chick strutting about.

 
http://cdn2.arkive.org/media/9E/9E5766B7-C8B6-48CB-83A7-5C73C94E4CFC/Presentation.Large/Emperor-penguin-chick-head-detail-showing-barbs-inside-beak-for-gripping-fish.jpg
& he's all shocked and surprised by her beauty.


   
http://stuffpoint.com/penguins-lovers/image/104108/penguins-love-picture/
And well, they uh hang out for a while and soon get married.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gEx_nX7JL-8/ULFSKZ_IiaI/AAAAAAAAAJE/xLGltI00h88/s320/penguin-imagesE.jpg
Soon, they have kids.


http://cdn.cutestpaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/l-The-penguin-pack.jpg
Well, a lot of them.


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQSz_1VzrGs2myoJivQiPSmx_ijdYHdlSkQP268t7KMXtpVyPH5q3_jaCz9exNXPWrivFl81wqLuVX0oLU-QJKTlhp4rIYpy_cyRp0drxHh9VmYXcmev9eTgVhnLLrie26AlA-V1g_SbtS/s640/penguin_wallpaper-1.jpg
Then those kids grow up and become teenagers and start wearing baggy pants with their bling bling and stuff. They gangsta penguins.


http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/9/30/1285865428249/Penguins-006.jpg
Then they grow up and start running for elections and stuff.


http://gsf930.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/emperor-penguins-1-1024x768.jpg
Then they get old and beer-bellied.


http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2006/12/28/arts/28happ.1.600.jpg
& when they die, everyone parties.


http://www.zastavki.com/pictures/1920x1200/2012/Creative_Wallpaper_Happy_Penguin_035134_.jpg
Okay, sorry, is that too mean? Well, you're invited to the party too, so....



http://hashmarks.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Mating_King_Penguins33.jpg
Yeaaah, harmony!
None of this makes sense. But we're all one big happy family. Yesss we areee. Yes we AREEE.

Okay that's it for now.
Penguins are my new favorite birds. I want a penguin.
I WANT A PENGUIN!!!

I am going to get me a penguin.
Okay good night.