Who needs grades when you have Center Fresh? (Plan B)

Today, I managed to watch tv after ages after finally emerging out from beneath my rock (temporarily) because Patrick has kicked me out because apparently now I've lost all my socializing skills and all starfish, brainful as well as brainless, hate me.
Unfortunately I'm still under the huge granite of a rock termed EXAMS. Today, whilst scribbling away any answers I could think of, the stupid invigilator snatched my paper and destroyed my mood in such a way that the only thing that would've made me feel better was tv. And not just tv.
Whenever I watch tv I make it a point to watch cheesy shows *cough* Indian serials. I watched one today in which this guy and a girl meet on facebook, share an assortment of chicken jokes to win camaderie, decide to meet at the local restaurant, seal their instant friendship with a hi5 (note: thats when their hands touch and violins pregnate the air), pull each other's cheeks, then decide to get married. However, the girl's father is a super conservative, paan chewing relic of an ancient, who smears ghee in his parantha with his bony fingers then reprimands his daughter saying "I VEEL HAVE NO INTER-CASTE MARRIAGE IN THIS PHAMILY." The girl says Nahiiin, cries in her bedroom, meets the boy secretly and they both decide to elope on a coughing scooter on the eve of the girl's eighteenth birthday, because eloping or not, they want to follow the law, for the legal marriage age in India is 18.
Then they book the best room at the "BEST ROOM HOTEL" and get mushy. Oh what's that, are you expecting some boogiewoogiedoogie? Oh no, these are the Indian peninsular species you are talking about, and they merely talked about the various dietary supplements for the following night (the girl makes the best mutter paneer in town), and then indulged in the cheek-pulling again.
Anyway, long story short, the guy ends up being a robber who planned to loot the girl's jewelry, the girl ends up being a useless lover of another man who smokes cigarettes and finds refuge in bigotry, the girl's dad ends up being an epilepsy patient who threatens his daughter by saying he will voluntarily die if his daughter marries a lower caste, and I end up one of those guys you find in Indian dhabas who yell COME HERE WE HAVE THE BEEEESTBUTTERCHICKENSAMOSADOSAMASALADOSAPOORINAANROTILEMONJUICEAPPLEJUICEMIXEDFRUITJUICEMANGOJUICEAndpizza. Okay I don't know why I included the last part. But now you know my secret ambition! I've been working at these tongue twisters recently....
Anyway, that is so not what this blog entry is about. While this putrid freckle of a show was puberty-ing, an advertisement came in between. And I loved it so much that I actually went and searched for it on YouTube because it's the best thing I have ever seen. Needless to say, chewing Center Fresh chewing gum will probably help with my newfound love for screaming out the menu at lightning speed in restaurants and dhabas. Okay maybe plan B.
For some reason blogger app is not allowing me to attach the video through phone (UGH!) But that doesn't mean I don't love you enough or that I don't want you to watch this ad (esp the middle part when he imitates the Fair and Lovely ad :'D) I laughed so hard at this!!!
Ps- if you don't understand Hindi; this video is basically a parody of all these popular Indian advertisements of toothpastes, fairness creams, Ambuja Cement, memory pills, etc, which are found on tv all too often.
I feel like there is some hope for this country. I think the cheesyness is actually what makes India India. WOOP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFYG4qF_vXk&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Ps- pray or do some witchcraft to enable me to pass all my exams and turn my colossal of an invigilator into a powerless squid.
Wahaha.

Aah, another Liebsterr!

I'm super excited about this one because a) it's been a while, and b) I'm SICK of exams. 
If there is anything that studying has taught me, it is only that I am wonderful at doodling. Seriously, I don't think I have ever doodled so much ever! You won't believe this... I cancelled all my plans with all my friends, told them I'm studying, then sat home with the book open in front of me, but I wasn't reading. I was doodling. So yes, basically I ditched my comrades for 3-4 hours of antagonizing Doodleland.

I want to show my gratitude to Kusum from Far Beyond Skyline because she most certainly knows how to make good decisions in life ;) Thank you so much! 

"Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. It’s appreciation from fellow bloggers and your chance to introduce yourself to other awesome bloggers.

If you receive this award, you are expected to:

1. Post 11 facts about yourself

2. Answer the 11 questions the tagger has given you
3. Tag 11 more Bloggers (with no more than 200 followers; no tagging back) and make 11 questions for them
4. Tell the people you tagged that you did."

1) I was born in the middle of the Atlantic ocean as the transgender seahorse offspring of two very romantic octopuses. 

2) Sorry, I lied. That's the second fact. I tell a lawt of white lies. Maybe that is why my nose is so long, hmm. Oh, and don't worry, I don't lie in my blog (usually). Psst. Did you see the thing on the right sidebar? The Indian biking badge? Totally un-false. Maybe. 

3) I have really bad carsickness but I freakin love travelling! It is a paradox. I know, who wants to get to their travel destination after barfing out the remnants of whatever little digestive system they had? (Please don't get grossed out, I rarely barf, it's mostly just nausea). But once you get to the place where you were trying to get to, it's all worth it. And another thing. If ever I travel, I like to blend in with the local people of the place I'm in. For example, if I'm in a remote Indian village, heck yes you'll see me walking around carrying matkas on my head! 

4) I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A NOVEL LATELY. Omg, this is so exciting. I know it's not really a 'fact' about me, but I'm so euirhgeuirhging excited! It's a horror/thriller, and it is the most exciting thing in my life at the moment. I've been trying to control the urge to sit and write all day because of these putrid exams, but once they get over, I'm just going to write all day and all night! 

5) I have a very strange memory. If I met you 40 years ago (pretend I existed 40 years ago), I will meet you now and say "You remember that time you pulled my cape and then I breathed in through my nostrils?" Seriously, I just have very strange memory of things. I might remember the smallest insignificant details as background to the larger ones. Sometimes, my brain gets confusing. "Oh, my bad, that was someone else's nostrils." 

6) My favorite fruit is watermelon, and my favorite vegetables are mushrooms. I'm so obsessed with these two things! I use watermelon lipbalm, watermelon shower gel, and I'm pretty sure I'll be the first one to buy a mushroom shampoo if they ever start one. I mean, they have Beer and Champagne shampoo, so why not Mushroom, right. Put me in an island with just these two delicacies, and I will become a super fanshy sumo banshee. 

7)  i lyk 2 tok lyk dis @ tymz. I don't care what people say about ppl hu tok lyk dis, but I personally feel that those people have a lot of creativity to come up with such condensed forms of writing. Sure, it looks like ants on my screen, but I occasionally speak wid mah franz lyk dis 2 b funnzzyy. On the other hand, I'm not very fond of abbreviations. I don't mind a little YOLO with my FYI at times-these are very extensively used. But maybe it's because I'm just technically un-brilliant, but when I see acronyms such as SMH or IDCWYDISHT (I Don't Care What You Do But I Still Hate You), I hate having to go on urban dictionary to look it up. 

8) There are three principles that I live (try to live) by- 1) Acceptance, 2) Mutual Respect, and 3) Open Mindedness. These three keynotes are the formula to my little brain cell DJ, and I try my best to bring out the best in me through these guidelines in every possible occasion. But again, don't get me wrong, I'm not all HEY-LOOK!-THERE'S-A-PONY-BY-THAT-RAINBOW-RIVER! type, I do have my moments when following these guidelines become reallyyy hard. 

9) I don't fancy getting flowers as gifts. You know, when you go to some social gathering, and these people offer you this huge bouquet of flowers. I can vividly remember getting so many bouquets of all sorts of flowers- Daisies, Azaleas, Lilacs, Jasmines, Galaxea, Preenasia, Eurasia ....Mediterranean Wildflower? Okay I guess I got names of flowers confused with geographical locations (FAIL). Anyhoo, my point is that yes, I most certainly think it is very generous of you to bestow upon me such wonderful floral vegetation, but let's be real now. Yeah, those bouquets are just going to sit there and rot. One flower is okay, six flowers are perfect, but more than that, and even attempting to put those flowers in vases simply end up attracting a multitude of insects and avid gardeners. 

Now if you ever meet me, you know what not to gift me ;D 

10) I'm a poet and I very absolutely well forgo it. 

11) I absolutely love background vocals and harmonies in songs. I think it's the best thing ever about music. Whenever I listen to a song, I always pay attention to the background as well, and it all comes out so beautifully! I know instruments work well with songs too, but I think harmonies are absolutely amazing because it is the human voice and not instruments that makes the special music. Classic favorite- Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen; Contemporary favorite- Royals by Lorde.  

Questions from Kusum:

1. What is the worst punishment you got in school?
When I was very young, I was unfortunate to be a part of a school that still had corporal punishment. I haven't been exposed to such severe ways of punishment for years now, but I still remember this one day in fourth grade that fills me with fear and hatred. I remember being slapped on my face, TWICE by my Hindi teacher, for not doing my homework in my homework notebook. I did my homework, but it was in my classwork notebook. 

I think this experience was what sort of triggered in me a lasting war that I have been willingly involved in, a fight to end all unfair things about the Indian education system. I spoke to a few of my extremely old friends from that school, and they said corporal punishment is definitely less severe now, but there are still some teachers who follow this brutal means of punishment. I truly hope that I personally will be able to meet these teachers one day and give them a piece of my mind. And the law. 

2. Why is your best friend your best friend?
Haha, I have actually wondered about this a couple of times. Now what is the typical idea of a 'best friend'? I always used to get those definitions from movies like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, etc. However, yes my best friend does hold a few characteristics of those girls in the movie (I'm sure she has watched the movie recently for the 9417594th time, during the last 48 hours), but I still think she is much different. I think I address my best friend as my best friend, because she indeed is the best person to be with. I mean, I can just sit with her and not even say hi, and we can, idk hang out? But the thing is, with my 'best friend', I can bring out the 'best side' of me, i.e. the side that doesn't have to be fun ALL the time, the side that doesn't have to keep talking all the time, the side where I'm just me. And being with my best friend doesn't compel me to be any different. Lol snorterjee you readin this bro? 

3. Do you believe in ghosts?

I think the world would be a little more interesting with ghosts, but unfortunately I do not have an inch of belief in them. Though I am always the first one to freak out while watching a horror movie! 

4. What do you like the most about yourself?
I think one of the best things about myself is the fact that I take risks. And no, I'm not talking about sitting at the back of a rollercoaster with my legs swinging out (I'm terrified of amusement parks, actually). I'm talking about being different and sort of chilling with myself. I mean, right now itself I'm taking a risk. I'm supposed to be studying for an exam which will happen in about 3.2 days but I take this risk because I believe that I'm doing something productive. So even if tomorrow I fail my exam, if that failure allowed me to get appreciation for my blog, or if this blog entry made someone's day, I think I will be okay. I try my best to experience every nook and cranny of my life and learn from every mistakes I made. Because when I take risks, I obviously make mistakes. When I make mistakes, I make sure I don't make them again. And when I don't make them again, I learn. I learn, so I grow. I grow, so I feel amazing to look back.  

5. How happy are you today?
Aaah, why today out of all days! Today, I'm supposed to be anxious and upset because I just gave an exam, which didn't go as well as I had hoped it would go. There was this question, AND I WROTE A BEAUTIFUL ANSWER only to learn that the question had asked something slightly different. I feel like going on every social networking website, making an account, and typing fmlfmlfmlfml. However, I am also quite glad that I'm done with that exam and I won't have to worry about it for sometime. So yeah, my mood is a little masala right now. 

6. What is the best thing you have written so far?
THE NOVEL I'M WORKING ON. Seriously, I can't stop reading what I've written. I had often tried to write fiction before, but it always turned out so absurd and I would get so upset and delete them. I used to passionately write this short story with the title Pretty Broccoli (what the f) in 9th grade, but when I recently read it, I couldn't help but mourn about my immature writing skills. Now, however, I think I've gotten better, so after following Edgar Allen Poe's footsteps, blended with a little inspiration from a thriller that my friend was reading, I am going to finish writing my first piece of (hopefully completed) writing ever in this genre. 

On the scale of 1(worst) to 10(best):

7. your personality- 8? I really don't know actually :s

8. your city- 6- Don't get me wrong, I love my city, but even if New Delhi has the best city ever, it has some of the worst, most inhuman cases of rapes and child abuse. 

9. the last journey you had- My dadi has been staying with us, and she is a very religious person, so we have been taking her to every religious shrine in the country. Our last trip was Haridwar. It's an interesting city in the hills, with loads of cows around. I had only been there for rafting before, but this time we actually went into the city and looked at all the Temples and Gurudwaras and Mosques they had. And now, I have been stuck home for the past... 70 years? Going to the bathroom from my room is probably the biggest journey I have had since. -.-
OH CRAP I forgottt this is supposed to be rated on 1-10 :P Probably a 10. I had a great time. 

10. your driving skills- 1? I keep telling my dad to teach me driving but he's too busy, and tells me to enroll a driving class when I'm 18, because you only get a license when you're 18 in India. The closest I've come to 'driving' is starting the engine. I started the car engine by mistake once when I was in 6th grade. And well yeah, that is it. So yeah I give myself a point for that. 

11. the condition of your room- -800? My room is such a mess! Aarghh. There are books and clothes lying everywhere, and I recently found a 5 day old sandwich (untouched and packed) under my bed! I could've followed Homer (Simpson)'s footsteps and had it but it's just gross so I didn't. 

Okaayy, now 11 questions for the taggeees:

1) What is the best decision that you think you have ever made?

2) Last time you were embarassed? What did you do?

3) What do you do currently? (like are you a student, or pediatrician or a zookeeper...)

4) What is something you are terrible at?

5) Would you rather be a dinosaur or a centaur?

6) Which accent do you adore the most?

7)  Your idea of a perfect utopia?

8) Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

9) One word that you find really hard to spell/pronounce?

10) Did you/Do you have braces? 

11) Any unique/weird trait that you have? (for example, you probably laugh like a sneezing pressure cooker)

I am so sorry but I'm too lazy/busy to tag people, but I am just going to go and notify some awesome bloggers asap. Omg. Exams. Ef. 

❀ Ooh look! A flower, I wonder where that came from.... ❀❀❀❀❀ more flowers...OMG EVEN MORE..! ✿✿✿✿✿✿

Quote-radictions.

Remember those pretty, forwarded messages you'd get from people that you would either read/choose to ignore because it defines cheesiness? There was a point when I would dream of unicorns and follow advice like Where there is a will, there is a way :) and look for the way when I found my will, but as I grew older and my belief in unicorns faded, these simple sayings got harder and harder to figure out because there was always a contradiction. Yes, I'm an over thinker who destroys people's serenity, and that's why I'm sharing this post.

The saying:
"Never share your secrets with anyone, this can be self-destructive. Never tell your problems to anyone, 20% don't care, 80% are glad you have them."
This is one of the popular sayings that I see/hear almost everywhere. But there's also another...
The clash:
"Do you know why God didn't give us the gift to read others' minds? So that we could have the chance to trust, and the privilege to be trusted."
Explanation:
Both of them are nice sayings, but when you think about it, the first one technically says don't trust anyone, (because telling someone your problems and secrets qualifies as trusting) and the second one indirectly says that you should trust people, so what am I supposed to do?! To trust or not to trust, that is the question. :(

The saying:
"Practice makes perfect"
The clash:
"Nobody's perfect"
Explanation:
Do I need to explain? Plus, I think everyone has already heard this one lol.

The saying:
"Actions speak louder than words."
The clash:
"The pen is mightier than the sword."
Explanation:
So the first quote says that you should speak less and do more, but in the second one, the pen symbolizes speaking and the sword is action, so am I supposed to get the sword and do some action or take a pen and make words?!

The saying:
"True beauty lies within"
The clash:
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
THE clash:
"Appearance is deceptive"
Explanation: 
The eyes are not within, they are very much physically visible on the outside! And if you think appearance itself is deceptive, why do you care about the person's eye in the first place? Plus, I'm certain that no one judges the beauty of a person, just by their eye structure, I mean seriously!

There are other sayings and proverbs too, that just make me want to question humanity.

The saying:

"All things come to those who wait."

Explanation:

I waited for the crowd at the food counter to clear up, and by the time I got there, there were no burgers left. And besides, when you say "ALL things", what's that supposed to mean? I won't get burgers but all the nonliving things in the world will be mine all of a sudden? 

The saying:

"Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

Explanation:

If I'm hoping for the best, I'm gonna be in a hopeful mood, right? So when I start preparing for the worst, automatically all the hope would drain off, because I'm expecting/thinking about the worst case scenario. Hence, by preparing for the worst, I'm not hoping for the best, and both can not be done together. Plus, I explained a lot about this in my previous entry. Read this.

The saying:

"Do nothing. Flowers Bloom. Grass Grows by Itself."

Explanation:

What if there's a flower in the middle of a (surprisingly fertile) mud road? A car will run over it, and while the car runs over, the flower will just sit there and bloom? I mean, I know flowers aren't the best example, but you get what I mean, right? 

The saying:

"Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased, nor is it etched in stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart- and there it shall remain forever.

Explanation:

So basically, love letters are pointless and you should meet your cardiologist to inscribe your lovers' name in your heart. Oh, how I envy the luck that the whole medical industry will have, especially on Feb 14th.

These proverbs are, however, mostly old and redundant. What about now? The 21st century?

Now there are plenty of things that I see on facebook these days. These, you could say, are the modern versions of allegedly thoughtful/typical quotes, for example:

In the picture above, the post talks about how a girl should be handled with care, and there's a rather lovely picture of a girl dozing off. Maybe it's just me, but sadly, I fail to find the relevance of the picture with the quote, but I must say that's a fancy pillow cover. And nice lamp. 

It's not like I'm criticizing the modern quotes you see these days, some of them are actually pretty good. But it's just that. arrrghh. those repetitive quotes get annoying after a while! And I found a post on 9gag that actually describes my thoughts on those typical posts you see everywhere- Click here

And well, if you have a facebook cover that says something like that, I'm sorry, okay? Even I have tons of friends who do, and I'm pretty sure they hate me now :P

Until next time, (xoxo)

Old and typical tv shows!

Gawd Blimey! What a nasty weather! If you will pardon me, I shall attempt to write a blog entry on the awesomeness of the olden times and enlighten you with my lovely/dreary British slang, while the weather wears on and keeps me indoors.

"I want to see Part 1 and 2 as well". - Click here!

PS- notice the background music and stuff!

At times I suspect if I was accidentally born in the 21st century, because my mind often strays back to the centuries of the past, with those ankle length dresses, ink pens, the British-influenced-American accents that the posh wannabes forged, and of course, the old tv classics. The past is like perfume that fades with time, but can always get sporadic renewals, and get you all tickety-boo!

Of course, that doesn't mean I hate the movies they make these days.. but.. there's always this classy, quirky acting that the old movies have, that just CAN NOT be beaten. Perhaps it's the kewl outfits, or the accents, but it just fascinates me to lay my eyes on such shows (Alfred Hitchcock Presents), because it takes me back to a time where there were no cell phones. Or iPods. Or laptops. And people spend their spare time doodling with mustard or knitting, or whatever. Not that people don't do that these days or anything! But yeah.

I am quite uncertain on whether I may be correct, but I feel as if there is a gradual inclination for many others (like me) to travel back in time these days. I recently discovered another blog- http://www.thepeachmartini.com/
It is just kind of comforting to read old english (some of the blogger's posts are all vintage and antique-ey) and yes, I know what you are thinking, my darling reader, and no, I am convinced that I am not a very insane person.

Another thing I wanna talk about is (it's been a while since I've posted so I kind of have a lot to sayy) is the OMG the background music that you hear, but wisely chose to ignore, in television shows, movies, and stuff.

These days, I have been giving particular attention to the background music. Because it fascinates me sometimes! Each different region has a different background effect.

Like, for eg, South Indian serials, I have noticed, have really fast classical music in suspense/bad scenes. So the scary sound of a female voice spazzing with millions of sitars in the background, or the soft and calming, yet haunting sound of a harmonium, controls your mood more than the script/acting.

For North Indian, I'm sure we all have heard of Balika Vadhu. If you haven't, here's a random scene-

Omg. Now after watching it, I can't resist but write down a few (freakishly comical) things you'll find in just about every Indian serial!!! Here are some-
1) Suspense/scary background music runs for(......)ever
2) In the meantime, faces. The camera goes from Anandi to Kalyani to Sumawati or whoever, and back to Kalyani.
3) They speak with eyes. Honestly, the script may be less than 5 words, but to convey the message, it takes the whole 30 minutes of the scene.
4) SUDDEN shift in mood. The lightning speed music rushes and suddenly, it's quiet, happy, and nonsensical.

Of course, these funny things are smashed aside as over 80% of the viewers, I'm sure, watch these serials with utmost interest and seriousness. Sometimes I do sit down with my grandma and watch it for fun, because it is just so entertaining :P

And ofcourse, you go abroad, you may find similarities, and maybe I'm wrong, but I guess Grey's Anatomy has more drama on the script and acting than the effects, unlike Indian tv shows. Now, I'm not saying what's right and what's wrong, but perhaps after today, you'll start noticing the background music and old tv shows!

PS- Nothing in this post is meant to insult/hurt your sentiments. In case you do watch Balika Vadhu and suddenly feel like punching me if you felt anything I mentioned was insensitive, please forgive me :)

Much love, 

Freakazoid and the Future.

When I go insane, I go insane. I would like to begin with a sincere apology to all those distressed souls that I distressed even more with my crazy talk.

I'm the Red one. But you already guessed that.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep your composure inherently. This is just one of those moments when I abruptly panic and turn into a freakazoid.

And about the future, well, what can I say? You can't always be 100% sure of what's going to come your way, so mostly we just mentally prepare ourselves, right? There is so much you could be doing this very second, like your homework, or researching on the average cockroach's perspiration rate, or just reaching a decision on what you want to do in life. But what are you really doing? Reading my awesome blog entry (which is totally productive, just btw). 

So presently, I'm freaked out, confused, and insane in life, but slowly, it's working out. And I'm not going to make decisions under pressure, isn't it wise to make it with a clear mind? For now, I'll keep tricking my brain into thinking there's time, and do whatever I can this moment.