The old Streams war.

Approximately 18 hours ago, I had a rather pleasing, 3 hours lasting informal debate with my friend on humanities stream vs. science stream. In India, it's like war. 1st-10th grade you fly around on a carpet and drink holy water, and in 11th (but mostly 12th) grade, your carpet tears apart, you fall from the sky, and the holy (now not-so-holy) water rains over you. Yeah, maybe it won't not rain hard on some people. But the ones worst struck (with lightning?) are people like me, who abruptly decide to change schools, change boards, change subjects, and then realize they have practically NOTHING to write in the college essay.

So then you sit and make amends.

Considering the amount of work I'm loaded with, it's a MIRACLE that I can still take time out for blog posts. Miracle why? (b)cos :- (notice the mathematical reference?)

1) PROJECTS
bam
2) EVEN MORE PROJECTS
bam
3) WEEKLY TESTS
bam
4) EXAMS
bam
5) ONLINE WRITERS COURSE THING
bam
6) SAT- long registration process + stu-dying
bam
7) USUAL HOMEWORK
bam
8) EXTRA CLASS/TUITION
bam
9) INTERNSHIPS- registration & searching(?)
bam
10) EXTRA CURRICULARS
bam
11) ETC. BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS MORE.

So, why am I so pissed, you ask? If I haven't made it obvious with that fugly list above, I proudly declare myself a fail writer. I'll put a barf bag over my head and parade with it for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

I am pissed because I missed my bus today and haven't had breakfast even if it's been like 4 hours and I'm sitting in my cramped room with open pages all around me and at least 7 tabs open on 3 windows in my laptop and a trashcan filled with empty refills because I used up all my pens. *breathes* And how did I possibly miss my bus, you ask? Because I'm so terribly sleep deprived because of this work and I actually dream about paper-monsters even while sleeping. So obv, I woke up late. See? There is always a reason.

And if you are a damned sciencee, shaking your head like a piranha on drugs, I'd advice you to wear a helmet before I shove an actual piranha down your throat.

..which brings me to my topic for today..

SCIENCE AND HUMANITIES (AND ALSO COMMERCE) ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.

When you step into the world of juniors and seniors wearing brand new Prada heels, you realize it's too hard to walk on them and trip off your high horse on the first day. I know I use too many metaphors, but I'm sure you can understand. But 11th grade is still fine. After a while, you get used to all those Humanities vs. Science jokes (Humanities is the manual labor of 11th grade), and Commerce just sits there in the good ol' neutrality. But when 12th grade arrives, you get a taste of reality. Unless you're charming and organized and actually have a planned path ahead, you become an average. And trust me, when you want a scholarship, you can't be an average. So you put aside your science/humies woes and start doing stuff.

But JUST when you thought you're psychologically recovering, you are forced to attend a family social gathering where you meet well-dressed adults clinking wine glasses and scrutinizing the nerves of your brain. And they always approach you with the same questions, and before you know it, you realize it's too late to run away, and embrace a conversation that defines 'awkwardness'.

"So, beta, which stream have you taken? Science, right?"
"Um, no, uncle, I have taken Humanities actually.."

http://grist.org/election-2012/crazy-talk-rick-santorum-out-denies-the-climate-deniers-and-spins-eco-conspiracy-theories/attachment/santorum-awkward-expression-flickr-dave_maass/

"Oh." (Snape style) "But.. I mean... are you sure? Did you make your decision wisely?"
"Yes."
"Well.. okay.. But are you sure about your career? What you're going to pursue?"
"Yes, I'm gonna do journalism."
"Well, okay then. Please excuse me. I have to go milk my anaconda"

Now, I'm not saying that all adults are like this. This one uncle unexpectedly turned round the conversation and praised me for taking humanities. There are many people who understand that SCIENCE AND HUMANITIES ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS so why should you even compare in the first place?

So this anger is not directed towards everyone, mind you. It is for those who have had experiences like me and we can sympathize together and fight this out. Yeah, it's funny to joke once in a while ("YOU TOOK HUMANITIES, SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT WORKLOAD!!!"), but it should all be in good spirit.

It is true that as youngsters, 80% of us had difficulty in math and only 20% had difficulties in English. In fact, we chilled the day before an English paper, and started cramming 2 weeks before a Math paper. So obviously because of the amount of memorizing formulas and applying calculations, math and science subjects were considered tougher. I remember in 10th grade how I HATED chemistry, but loved English. A friend of mine who also hated chemistry, pursued Science for the sake of status. When you're a science student, you're a *Science Student!!! :O* but when you're a humanities student, you're well, expected to clean dirt from fossils?

So here is a list educating you on what humanities is actually about. I'm not here to promote inferiority or tell you which stream is the best, but I'm just gonna shower some facts on you, which would guide your opinions and erase any stereotypes.

1) There are no fixed answers in Humanities. When you place a science/math marking scheme on your left and a humanities marking scheme on your right, you notice something. In science, each answer is numbered and there is one specific answer or keyword that you look for. However, in Humanities, there might be a line that says "Should be relevant to the topic". Maybe a few key words, or a sample answer max. There is no fixed answer. You have to think for yourself.

..which brings me to the next point..
2) You can't cram everything. Sure, there are some things that you must memorize, like the characteristics of a Social Institution. But 80% of it is your own reflective thing and analysis. You have to put a lot of thought and do a lot of reflective thinking, and let your creative ideas spill out.

3) There is a LOT to read. You have to have a good vocabulary and a sense of understanding to take Humanities. If you can't read, don't take it. Initially, I never imagined that the books will be so freakin verbose, but then you start reading, and sometimes I'd actually resort to my SAT math in the middle of studying Lionel Robbins, to calm my mind down a little.

4) Humanities (as the name suggests) is about people, and the world, as you know it, is inhabited by people. It goes a long way to be able to understand and analyze people and ideas. It really requires high levels of thinking and forming your own opinions. You have to think deeply about the world around you, about the minds of the people, and the way things are. You have to notice them and form an opinion and have the ability to put it in words. You have to gather information through surveys and observation. And there is no fixed formula, or method, for doing it. You don't get any guidance or DIY manual, you have to figure out yourself what you're gonna do, and how you're gonna do it.

5) Now you may ask "What's the point of thinking so much? How does it help anyway?". When I would get annoyed by analyzing every single prick and piece of a Wordsworth poem, I think to myself if analyzing all these words are even worth anything! But it is. It develops you as a person, as a human being, and as a part of the human race. It helps you understand people, how the thought back then, and how they think now. And practical uses of it, you ask? Advertisement. Businesses need to read the minds of consumers. People read books for fun. People are biased and want opinions. People are curious. When you go to school, don't you gossip more than discussing what the school floor is made of? I'm not nearly comparing an iota of school drama to the big bad world, but let's not forget that studying things about the past help us make inferences and developments for the future.

6) And come on people, have enough brains to realize that humanities is science in a way, it is a social science and involves the scientific method! (Um, hellow, what are mass surveys and aptitude tests supposed to be?) Don't go around bullshitting stuff like there is no practical use of humanities. Look around yourself. Amidst the people wearing lab coats and finding cures for cancer is a teenage girl being sold as sex trafficking. You enter your first day at work at a well-reputed firm, on your way to save the world from swine flu, when your coworker slams against you, hurling you to the ground, and walk past without apologizing. You can either send him for ethics or gender sensitization or sociology classes, but would you make him learn calculus and biology to change his mind about slamming against people without apologizing?

What if everyone relied on science and fixed formulas and never thought it logical to help each other and have opinions? Your family dies in a fire and you spend years mourning, and when you're starved of emotional support, a robot-ish guy approaches you and tells you to drown your pain with some morphine. Or maybe conduct a heart surgery to fix that metaphorical hole in your heart.
When grooms ask for overwhelmingly high dowries for the bride's family to sell their daughters like prostitutes, you don't turn to scientists for a smart way out. You reach someone who will understand your pains and be sensitive towards your decisions, and help you out emotionally.

Okay, I know I have exaggerated, and maybe to an unacceptable and pissing off level, and I apologize sincerely, if that's the case. Please don't take this the wrong way and don't blame me for degrading science. We NEED science and we have reached a long way because of science, because of technology, because of the gorgeous people out there in science clothes accessorized with a bright, technical brain. I understand logic and reason, but you can't always survive by that, right? There is a need for some heart and opinions. Isn't that what differentiates us from robots, and makes us more human? And okay, I know I sound super cheesy and typical humanities types, but I beg you to put aside your ego for once, and try to understand my point.

Ultimately, humanities, science and commerce should not be compared at all! The language of humanities is opinions and the language of science is logic, and eventually, we're not thinking of which one's the best. We're combining all this knowledge to fuel this world and make it a better place. People need to focuz more on their college applications than this sort of prejudice, because omggggg we have college next year, aren't you nervous?!!!
And please, do not be offended in any way; I am NOT criticizing science. I love science and had an A in Physics last year! I'm just mentioning some facts about Humanities because being a humanities student, I obviously know about my subjects, and I just think these stereotypes are quite unfair. Yes, now you may say that hence I would know less about Science, and I'm not denying that, so yes, I'm sure I've had some misconceptions also, and if you notice any, kindly forgive me. And besides, whether you took Psychology or Algebra or truck driving classes, your success would solely depend on your talent in those fields, not the fields themselves. As a human being, it is basic manners to respect people's choices in life. What do you want? Everyone to be exactly as perfect as you?

And to that uncle milking his anaconda, I will have to charge him extra when he comes to me years later seeking a well-read student to write his biography.

Now back to my list of work to be done -.-
Much larv(a)e, (because, tribute to biology?)

A Life Like Pi.

When I declared to my charming friends that I finally watched Life of Pi, roughly 4 months after its release, they were a confetti burst of deceptive sarcasm.

I found the movie inspiring, in an adorable way. The lead was OHSOCUTE:') with subtle humor managed perfectly, though it seemed a bit dragged, for me, nearing the end. Overall, it was great to watch.

Reviews aside, this movie made me wonder.

Approx an hour and a half into the movie, well into the part where the lead is stuck on a boat with a tiger in the middle of the ocean, I began feeling... envious(!) Then I go like Why am I feeling so jealous?!! and my mind retorts You know why, you know it very well. No, it's not like I have some weird obsession with tigers that made me jealous of the lead (who's name is Pi- and I'm not gonna explain how the name originated coz I don't want to be a spoiler for those who haven't watched the movie), and it's not like I was jealous because of something else.

I was jealous because I wanted a life like Pi. Not entirely, but quite entirely so, yes. Just that part.

What's that? I hear you calling me names? *cough*Misanthropist*cough*
                                                                *cough*weirdo*cough*
I shall elaborate, as usual.

Not exactly high resolution, but just look at this picture. Look closely.

I don't know about most people, but when I see this picture, like really see it, I see utopia. It's like my personal escape. Now ignore the fact that I am a terrible swimmer, and I would probably pee myself at the sight of a tiger, but despite the stormy clouds in the sky, I see a place so beautiful, a place where I would want to be.

I know that this is just a movie, but oh how I would love to be alone in the middle of the ocean! Away from reality, away from the busy roads and people judging you everywhere. How nice would it be to have the vast ocean and the life boat all to yourself, screaming and doing whatever the hell you want, and not giving a crap about what others think. Away from awkwardness of socializing, away from people who piss you off, away from smoke coming out of cars, away from schoolwork. I wouldn't have to check myself in the mirror 50 times a day, or be formal and fake-nice to people, and put my show clothes on and perform my best. There would be no people to order me around, telling me what's right and what's wrong, how I shouldn't be and how I should be. I can laugh as loudly as I want, and cry as loudly as I need. There is no need to keep a straight face when I simply can't. When I get bored, I can float around and catch fish. I can scream and sing to myself all I want. I can openly criticize and hate on people without worrying about them hearing it. And most importantly, I can be myself. Away from self consciousness, away from tolerating people, away from worrying what others think, away from keeping up a good image for others to observe. freedom of thought, speech, actions, expression.

I'll just have to worry about the tiger. And sometimes, tigers seem almost less harmful than humans.

And when I get sea-sick, I can just throw up into the sea, without having to say 'excuse me' or apologize for ruining someone's shoes. When I crave company, I can just cuddle up to the tiger, and have conversations with him. At least he would listen. And even if he may try to say something mean, it will only come out as a roar, which I wouldn't be able to decipher.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love people and I can't live even a day without my phone or laptop, but aren't people like me the most vulnerable these days? Vulnerable to a total breakdown and brain dead-ness. Vulnerable to craving something different. The desire grows within you, until someday, sometime, you just have to run away and scream and shout and slap yourself around 10 times to remove that plastic off your face. You have to chew on hay to get rid of that fake smile you have been putting up, tolerating people and being nice for others to see. You have to pull your hair out and mess it up to shake the glitter out and punch your legs to let you begin your runaway to freedom. You have to squint your eyes a little at the sun, because you have been in the darkness of buildings and fake-lighting for a while now. You have to skip an octave or two to regain your normal voice. You have to rip your tight clothes a bit and throw away your shoes to be more comfortable. You have to roll in mud to remove that make up, and slam your head into a puddle of water to wash away all those thoughts and heavy-headed-ness and you need the reflection of clear water to see the real you, after removing all the civilization out of it.

And trust me, I have felt this feeling so many times. Pretty much during every social gathering. And even if I may be home with my favorite friends, there is still a lot more I want to do. But despite being a natural rebel, I obviously can't let every urge in me to take over my rationality, right? Otherwise I may just end up being a foolish inmate washing jail dishes my whole life. Or something similar.

So Pi, I envy you for that. I envy that you got a chance to be with yourself, just you, and the deep vast blue, and a tiger who can hurt you only physically, which is much better than being scarred emotionally. Of course, the context is different. You ended up on a lifeboat after a traumatic incident, and live the life of a refugee, but isn't that what made you even more reflective like the water that surrounds you? You ate sea-weed and ramshackled your brain with the fear of that carnivore, but you were alone, guided by your own thoughts. You had the freedom to think and feel and express! How often do you get this kind of freedom these days?! Yes, I probably wouldn't last a day in your situation, and die before reaching a presence of mind to actually enjoy the ocean. And it's not like I would want a life like that forever, but that desire still lives within me, hoping for a similar situation.

Side thought- Nirbhaya, the Delhi gang rape victim who died a terrible death, faced her battle for life with courage and strength. That's how she got the name Nirbhaya (which means 'no fear' in Hindi). She was raped after she boarded a bus with her boyfriend, after a movie-date with him. They had watched Life of Pi.
And Life of Pi=strength, courage, determination, inspiration. While Nirbhaya was being raped, through all that pain, she had the presence of  mind to notice the names of the rapists, and once rescued, she still fought courageously, and had a very very strong mind. 

Maybe, just maybe, the movie inspired her a little. And this is the part where I emphasize the fact that sometimes, tigers are less harmful than humans. 

I like pie.

Actually I have never had pie before. Maybe I've had some version of a pie? But I have never touched a pie in my entire life. I probably should eat pie sometime. I think it's cool to tell white lies. Sometimes.

Okay, just ignore all that, I just couldn't think of an interesting title.

The weather has been mood swinging; One day it's super hot, the next day the wind blows the color from your face, the third day it rains, and the fourth day the sky falls from the sky. Re-wind and rep-eat.
Similarly, my mood has also been mood swingin'. I guess I'm like secretly synchronized to the weather or something. Maybe the weather is like my secret puppet operator, and maybe I'm just a puppet responding to the weather. Or maybe I'm just a humbug who hasn't had pie before.

Anyhoo, it is at times like this that being awarded makes everything normal again. Thank you Ajay for being so awesome and giving me the honor of...

THE CREATIVE BLOGGER AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Oh my, isn't that a pretty picture?!)

OH YE-A-A-AA! I got this award, because (and I quote): "Creative in the sense of their writing and their presentation of ideas so beautifully and creatively" *blushes*

1. Thank the Blogger and link back to the blog.
2.a. Three things about yourself.
   b. Two things people don't know about you.
   c. One thing you want to change about yourself.
3. Answer the questions asked by the blogger.
4. Nominate this award to deserving blogs. Pass it on.
5. Ask some questions to the bloggers who got nominated.
6. Inform the bloggers about their award.

So, here we gooo.

1) So I take this opportunity to thank an awesome blogger/photographer, Ajay Kontham. You will find him at The Shaded Shadows™ !!! and you should all check out his awesome blog and hopelessly wish for any kind of award that he might just give you out of sheer kindness :P

2) a) 1) It takes time for me to open up to people. I let very selected few into my life, and I rarely speak openly to people other than my friends. This is bad in the sense that it takes time for me to adapt and get used to changes, but I guess this is also good because it helps me be picky and keep the people who matter the most, closest to me.
2) I love charity. I love helping out and doing charity work and giving advice. I know this point may seem kind of contradictory to the first point, but you must understand the difference between opening up to people, and being friendly. I can be friendly to people and lend them my pencil, but I may not open up to them and tell them more about my life.
3) I appreciate differences. We're all different human beings, and have different minds. Being shifted around different schools and places throughout my life, and having interacted with people from different races, ages, personalities, religions and backgrounds have really helped me be open-minded.

2) b) 1) I HATE being sympathized upon. There is nothing I hate more than that. Really. It disgusts me when people try to befriend me or talk to me or do me favors for me just because they feel bad for me, for whatever reason. It is really the worst feeling for me. There is a difference between talking to someone out of sympathy and talking to someone because you genuinely want to. On the other hand, I may sympathize, or even show empathy towards people, but if someone feels the same about this, I would leave them alone.
2) I can not stand the smell of petrol. I know a lot of people who do, but that smell literally makes me sick. That's why you may find me holding my breath at gas stations. Also, I have this weird OCD thing, I feel weird (the bad weird) when I see people rubbing their fingers against a silk cloth. It's really weird, but yeah. :S

2) c) I would change my body language. A lot of people have told me that I should stand straight, because I have had this really bad habit of slouching since 8th grade, and though people allege that I have improved drastically, there are still some remains I need to get rid of. I have also been told that I look shy, even if I may not be. So yeah, I need to work on that.

3) Yayy, questions!!


What is the one word that comes to your mind when you hear the following words/phrases? (Make it like a rapid fire round - Mention the first word that strikes you! And if you make if fast, it would be cool.)

a. World- Huge
b. Life- A tunnel with different colored walls with different designs at different intervals and for different time periods (I'm sorry this wasn't the 'word' you were looking for, but I really had just had to! :( )
c. Awards- YAYYY
d. School- Students
e. Love- Depth
f. Books- Adorable yellowing pages (I'm sorry, needed the phrase)
g. Death- Fear
h. Work- Opportunities
i. Sports- The whistle that PE teachers blow
j. (Your Name)- Emotions
k. Dog-Pointy teeth
l. Parents- Sacrifices
m. My Blog- 300 posts :P
n. Chocolates- Blessings!
o. Me/The Author/Ajay- Super friendly!!!

That was so much fun! Haha, and I'm sorry again if some of them are not single words. I really wanted to speak out over here :P

4) Can I nominate the blogger who nominated me also? :P
Ughh. This is so hard. I don't have many members eitherrr.

Skinny love for being so amazing with fashion and everything.
Spill beans for the most interesting and inspirational life stories.
the creation of beauty is art. for proving that the creation of beauty is art indeed.
the silence of the lambs for the deepest thoughts and truths.
Butterflies and Hurricanes for the most beautiful language and insights.

But again, I can never nominate enough people. Everybody has a creative side of their own, whether you blog or don't blog. I know now I'm being all "LIFE IS SO RAINBOWS AND UNICORNSSS!!! XOXO" types, but it's the truth, what to do!

5) Okay, now I have to ask some questions to the bloggers who got nominated. (I feel sorry for you guys already :P )
I would willingly be as cool as Ajay and make a rapid fire round myself, but I don't want to plagiarize and steal from his copyrighted mind :P But I'll still try to make this interesting..

1) Come up with the wackiest sentence/word/phrase imaginable. It doesn't have to make sense.
2) What is your favorite sock color?
3) Would you travel back in time, or travel forward in time? (assume you have this kickass time machine)
4) How are you feeling, at the moment?

6) Okay.

Once again, thank you so much Ajay, for letting me be a part of this fun activity, and also giving me the honor of this award!!! I really enjoyed this because this is much shorter and less time consuming than others (always a plus :P ) and the rapid fire was damn interesting! And thank you everyone who read this!

In the meantime, the weather continues mood swinging outside, and a leaf just slammed against my window, I think. I just hope it will soon be summerr :/ I still need to eat pie.

See ya later, alligator(s).

Decisions - The Fresco Way.

Decisions are kind of like playing paintball. Confused?

Here're my awesome diagram skills for ya. 

Let's assume that this guy on the left is a representation of you. (It's okay, we're just assuming). Let's call him Mr. Fresco. Now, there have been several theories about acquired and ascribed characteristics, but for now, we're just gonna assume that all human beings are born colorless and bored, without a personality. You are just getting the hang of life, and haven't started making any decisions. You still don't know what you want/need. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco before he knew paintball existed. That's you before you made any decisions. 

Now, soon Mr. Fresco grows up and starts developing and thinking for himself. He starts understanding who he really is, and kind of has an idea about himself. He has figured himself out and knows who he is, and what kind of things he basically wants. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco before he played paintball. That's you when you started making some decisions. -->

After a few years, Mr. Fresco starts attending schools and parties, and you know, just having a life in general. He meets many people and makes many new friends. His friends influence him and decide for him what Fresco should want, and causes him to make decisions. Some change his life, in a good way and some in a bad way. Now he has several shades to who he originally was. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco after he played paintball- covered in different paints, and now he looks much different than earlier. That's you after you made some more decisions (bigger than earlier ones).

But eventually, Mr. Fresco goes like What the hell, I'm gonna have some more fun. His friends impact his decisions in life more and more. Earlier, Fresco didn't like to smoke, but now his friends influence him and convince him to decide that smoking is cool. Earlier, Fresco hated cupcakes, but then his girlfriend made cupcakes for him and impacted his decision on whether he should like cupcakes or not. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco after he spends the whole weekend playing paintball and gets completely drenched to the extent that his own mother couldn't recognize him. In fact, he couldn't recognize himself! That's you after you made major life-changing decisions.

So what has happened here? Mr. Fresco is a perfect example of how people play too much paintball these days, and get drenched with paint to such an extent that they lose their own base colors (pink, in Mr. Fresco's case). 

Sometimes, that's what happens to us. It's as if the paint/amount of paint you're covered with is the consequence of your decisions in life. The amount of paint your friends are covered with is the consequence of how much your decisions affect them. And the extent to which the paint makes you unrecognizable shows how much you have changed in the process. 

Of course, it's really easy for us to say that we got influenced naturally, and of course we got influenced naturally. In fact, it is impossible to not get influenced by people around us. However, we do have a say in decisions. We can DECIDE whether we want to get influenced or not. The power to decide may differ from people to people- some may be stubborn, some may be easy to manipulate. It is also up to you to make decisions about things that you know will change your life. It ranges from big ones like marriage to little ones like whether you should drink pepsi or coke. And some of these choices can rattle your minds and make you pop your eyes out like an owl, but the trick to reaching decisions is to decide how much it will affect your life and how much it will affect you as a person.

For instance, years later, Mr. Fresco may meet this really cool girl named Frescina and decides that he wants to marry her, but will he have to change in order to accomplish this task? Obviously, some changes will be required. He will have to shave more often and shop for groceries, but does that mean he will have to stop eating peanuts because his wife hates the very scent of peanuts? Or will he have to give up his X-Box because his wife hates video games? Now, Fresco may be willing to sacrifice some of that. He goes like What the hell, Frescina is way more important. But is she? Will she change you to such an extent that your own mother would not recognize you? To the extent that you won't recognize yourself?

Your life may be 70% consequences of your decisions and 30% result of luck/coincidences. Or maybe 99% decisions and 1% luck. I can't be sure of the percentages, because it differs from person to person. But one thing that you should be careful of, is to never lose yourself. If you were a bad person and have a heavy criminal record, the case differs, obv. But let's just assume that you are awesome the way you are (which I'm sure you are). You should never have to give up who you are in return for something/someone allegedly better/good for you. If Frescina is too demanding, forces you to wear floral outfits, and make you promote child labor, you should really reconsider your decision. It is in cases like these that you weigh your choices and decide what's more important- your identity, or the prize. If the prize is bigger, go for it. If it's not, think again. 

On a personal note, I have always considered myself a rather stubborn person. I have too much pride to change myself for other people, or things, or ideas, or decisions. That makes me sound shallow and non-risk-taker, but really, is it worth giving up my own identity for someone else? If that person is truly amazing and a true necessity in my life, I may be willing to sacrifice certain aspects of my identity. But if the consequences are gonna make me covered in paint that I don't want on me, then what's the point? That is the question that helps me make decisions in life. Of course, everyone has different ways, but this is simply how I think. 

...So yeah. That's my philosophy/explanation, you could say. This is a really complicated topic and opinions differ, and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as possible, and I'm sorry if I failed. If I have confused more, feel free to ask for explanation, I'll explain personally. Actually, I may be confused myself. -.- 

Till then, please have some pity. Wrote all this with a first-class writers block :P 

Much love, 

V-Day Special.

The whole day literally has a pink tint. It comes from wrapping papers and chocolate covers and blushes and flowers and all those kinds of things. Moreover, this picture has become the theme.

Unfortunately.

But of course, if you're single, you're gonna find all this overwhelmingly cheesy. For me, it feels like a way of rubbing in the fact that you're single, and watch Archies and chocolate industries prosper. If I tell you that V-day could also stand for Vomit-Inducing Day, would you kill me? :P
But I'm not here to ruin your mood, don't worry. I'm just here to share my v-day post because someone told me that blogs are incomplete without one. So here ya go!

Types of Couples:

A collection of experience and drama.
*Note- Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. If offensive in any way, it's unintentional.

1) Snobs- You enter a fancy Italian restaurant and hear a huge commotion. You look to the direction of the unearthly sound and hear the scream of a woman covered in makeup wearing the most elegantly designed Utopian outfit. Her husband is yelling at the waiter in a made-up Brit accent, something about there being only 2 plates of noodles when he ordered exactly 1.23 plates. His woman screams again and throws the 2 million dollar ring in front of him and walks off. Poor guy. He wipes his face with his 200 dollar silk hand-stitched handkerchief. 

2) Disturbing nicknames- "I love you my sock-candy" "Come here, you shoopy moopy" "Awwwwww baby you're my little wummy ear-hair" "I could just eat you up, my cuddle-popsickle" 

3) The Couple Who Can't Be Moved- You can play a banjo in their ears  or The Script song or there may be a hurricane outside, but these couples will simply not budge from their dreamworld. Their eyes are locked to each other and they won't care if you get run over by a bullock cart, coz they just won't budge.

4) The couples who act like they're not couples-  These are common among first-timers when they're too shy or egoistic to show their love for each other. These couples tend to act highly insulted when associated with their so-called lover and pretend to abuse each other. They force their friends to hang around with them when they try to sneak away to give some privacy, but still secretly want to be together.

5) Too much PDA- You're in the mall, in the middle of the main entrance area, and your eyes are just wandering around when you see a couple making out and getting all physical as you try your best to swallow down the bile that has been finding its way up. Even if you look away, you still can't seem to get rid of that scarring image in your head. You are completely grossed out. 

6) Revenge- This may mostly be one-sided, as sometimes people may date x to make y jealous. Your partner might not know that you are simply being used, and this kind of relationships usually end up with one person crying and the other person dying and the third person disgusted. Something along those lines.

7) The shy ones- Your eyes are on the floor at a 45 degree angle, just enough to see him through the corner of your eye to catch him looking at you. Then later your eyes meet again, and one of you will always make it a point to be nearby, but you both will just never talk. These 'couples' occur because none of them have the balls to confess, and either ends up with one person gathering guts to ask the person out, or the love just fading away because neither of you make the move for fear of being rejected.

8) Formal- These couples will follow the basic rules of courtesy and be a gentleman/lady to each other. They would spend approximately 4 hours and 48 minutes together, with constant breaks, and return before their curfew. They will hold hands for 3.8 minutes and address each other in the most respectful possible manner and assign kitchen duties to each other.

9) Boo Fighters- You hear them screaming on the phone, in the elevator, while watching a match, while cutting carrots, and they break up 700 times a day. Then they apologize and patch up 700 times more. Then they break up again. And that goes on forever.

10) Superheroes- These are the virtuous lovers who unite to do good for this world. They may start an orphanage together, or destroy Joker together, or extinguish a burning train together, or solve math problems together, or climb volcanoes together, all while wearing the same colored shirts. They seek adventure and passion but this one only works out if both of them are qualified and tested, non-couch potatoes. Here's one perfect example.

Yoko Ono and John Lennon in their campaign for peace

11) Friendzoned- Occurs between friends who start liking each other but don't know what's more important- their friendship or relationship. The guy/girl ends up being friendzoned with secret desires and dreams, whereas the other person just struts along trying to convince everyone (and him/herself) that they're just friends, when clearly, that's not the case.

12) Tough love- This is truly badass. The guy owns a badass bike and the girl has a badass tattoo. The guy has these intense glares and the girl just goes weak to her knees. The girl falls down and the guy catches her. Then they ride away in their badass bike and live a badass life in the underworld ...But in the non-badass sense, these couples just share this truly intense love which involves a lot of rhetorical questioning and it's overly dramatic and mostly seen in movies.

13) Long-distance- These estranged lovers constantly try and connect through technology but fail and cheat on each other, OR they wait until they unite and go crazy. Their love usually ends as a sad story, or a "Happily ever after" upon their meeting when the girl jumps on the guy and they embrace for hours.

14) Constant suspicion- These couples are more like spies than lovers. They probably have pen-cameras installed in your pockets and can track you down to find out where exactly and who exactly you were with at 7:48pm EST when you claimed you were busy. You will never be trusted and always spied on, so beware.

15) The unimaginable- One can never, ever, ever imagine these two together. One of them looks like a tadpole with a frisbee stuck inside, and the other is a freakin giraffe. One likes killing spiders in his spare time, and the other plays the clarinet with her toenails. They simply couldn't be thought of being together, but here they are, sharing an icecream, sitting on the same bench.

16) Couple-for-name- These couples are either a) desperate or b) wannabes. They fall into prey of peer pressure and want to date so people will think they are cool. They call themselves couples but don't even like each other. Or they're just so desperate that just being in a relationship somehow gives them a weird sense of satisfaction which is super hard for me to comprehend.

Then last but not the least, there is 17) Me- A single humbug who has remained so every year on this day for the last 16 years. I won't sigh because it's not really a bad thing. And for those who care about this day, once again, happy valentines daay, lovezies. I will try not to judge you. :* 

I have been Liebstered!!! :'D

So the bit of German I learned has actually come in handy, it seems :P

THANK YOU SO MUCH Ajay Kontham!!!! My first blogger award ever!!! *sniffs*
So yeah, I'm not very familiar with how this works, but I'm gonna try.

I have been awarded the Liebster Award. (fangirls)

Isn't it beaut? :')

For those of you who are clueless, Liebster is a German word, which means 'dearest' (Thank you Google translate and remains of German from 9th grade)

So here goes the rules:

1. Thank the bloggy who awarded you

2. Post 11 interesting things about yourself

3. Answer the 11 questions questioned by the nominator

4. Choose 11 bloggers, create questionnaire for them (of 11), and let them know via comments

I have already thanked the awesomazing Ajay (thanks again!) so now lemme proceed to 11 things about myself... hmm let's seeee:

1) I am a terrible dancer. I used to dance a lot when I was younger, and I also learned dance, but I don't know how and when it happened, but these days, I'm just terrible! I look like a drunk infant when I try. Sorry if I disappointed you :P

2) I wear 2 different socks on each foot 80% of the time. Because wearing the same colored sock on each foot is too mainstream. Or I simply don't have the patience to search for a pair of socks. 

3) I can't keep grudges. I'll admit that I do fight with my friends and family occasionally, but they usually get solved the same day. I simple can not keep grudges. I can't handle the guilt and the pain and everything. So I usually forgive everyone, making some excuse like "life is short". Of course, if people take advantage of this weakness of mine, I get pretty pissed.

4) I don't like touching wash basins. It's a really weird thing, like OCD or something, but I simply can not touch wash basins. If I ever touch one even by mistake, I spend the next half hour scrubbing the skin of my hand out.

5) I love dull colors. Again, I know that might be pretty weird. Almost 60% of the people I know love bright colors and constantly nag me for my weird taste of dull things. I buy faded clothes, ogle faded furniture and buy antiques. My eyes hurt when I see bright things. Dullness sort of gives me comfort.

6) I hate it when people grow their nails. I'll admit it looks nice on some people, but whenever people have long nails, I automatically tend to cringe away from them. I don't like the idea of possibly getting hurt by their stylish claws. 

7) I LOVE TRAVELLING. Which is kinda ironic because I get carsick, but I love visiting new places. In fact, I plan to visit everyfreakinplace in the world once I get out of college.

8) I am quite sensitive to people. My eyes tear up when I see orphans begging on the street, or a lonely old person. I simply can not stand people getting hurt. Whether in movies or in real life. I just pity too much.

9) I am not a morning person, and I'm suspicious of people who are. Haha, I'm like a little cockroach that comes out at night! (y) 

10) Sometimes, I get sick of people. Every day kind of has a set limit for me. If I spend a day socializing way too much, the next day I would walk away from people and remain alone. I can't really explain the feeling, but it just gets too annoying after a while. It feels great to have your thoughts to yourself, sometimes.

11) I hate stereotypes. Of course, it's pretty funny when you make jokes about stereotypes (dumb blonde), but if someone is serious, I just feel like slapping them. "Oh you're emo, so you must be cutting yourself. Oh she's weird,  let's not talk to her." Seriously, I have a tendency to defy the rules of thoughts that the society had created, and I always, always deviate from the typical. I am proud to think different, and I try to be as open-minded as possible.

So yeah, I guess you know me a bit better now! Moving on...

I'm gonna answer the 11 questions asked by my awesomazing nominator..

1. Look at the lower right corner of the screen and mention the Time, plz.- It's 11:41 PM! Yayy

2. How did you end up with your Blog Name?  - Haha, I have mentioned this in my FAQ as well, but I'll repeat. I saw the word 'awakenings' somewhere, and I liked it. Then I just randomly brainstormed a word to go with it, and fancy awakenings didn't sound too ghetto or gawdy, so I just went with it! 

3. Open your mobile phone and go to messaging. No! I am not giving my number for you to text me. 

   a. If the Inbox has more messages than Sent, then reply as 'Famous'. 

   b. If otherwise, well, reply as 'Even More Famous'. :P

Hahaha I'm FAMOUS! :D But mostly because of all these random advertising shit sent by companies "Buy sauna slim belt and reduce your belly" or "downld hot babez picz sizzling modelss"

4. What is the one word that is stuck in your mind most of the time? - "Realize" I really don't know why, but that word just seems to pop up everywhere in my head... 

5. Your favorite Fiction Character?- Umm... I think Spongebob!! He's so cute! :') 

6. The craziest thing you might have ever done. - It's really hard to pick one, but one time, I was in a car with a couple of friends when I saw a random stranger, asked the driver to stop, and asked him "Hey, can you tell me the way to Narnia?" The dude just stood there and gawked, and I quickly asked the driver to drive away. I'm pretty sure the stranger could hear the howls of laughter of my friends for a good number of miles! 

7. Between Truth and Dare , which choice would you go with ? - Dare! Truths are boring. 

8. One word for my blog. Note : Insane, Stupid, Wth?, Wtf? , bla bla have already been used. So, pick up something Nice, plz, plz, plz, plz.... :P- Hahaha, well one word would be awesomazing. Not only because it's like my favorite word, but also because your blog is awesomazing. You have such fun stuff. Keep writing :D 

9. What makes you write? - Inner urges. Writing is like a necessity for me. Writing is my outpouring of thoughts in the middle of the night. Writing is the cure to silence. Sometimes, I feel that if I won't write that very moment, I will explode. So yeah. 

10. Favorite line/proverb/quote.- That's a really hard question. I don't remember my most inspirational quotes and stuff, but all I remember right now is the song Everchanging by Rise Against. Its lyrics have inspired me a lot somehow. 

11. If ever there is a chance to meet the author behind this blog, would you meet ? (Plz say Yes! for my satisfaction at least... Kiddin' :P ) So ? - Hahah, yes of course!!! You seem like such an interesting person, that it would be so awesome if we could meet someday. 

...Okay so now I need to come up with 11 questions.... so here goes...

1) What would be your ideal weapon to fight a zombie apocalypse?

2) Who is your favorite singer/artist/band?

3) What is the ideal vacation spot, according to you?

4) Do you believe in miracles? 

5) Why do you have a blog?

6) If you could choose between your left and right eye to see with for the rest of your life, which eye would you choose? (That was pretty random..)

7) What is your favorite punctuation mark?

8) Do you own a pet? 

9) On a scale of 1 to 10, how random are you?

10) What do you think of my blog?

11) You are going to die in 10 minutes. What are you gonna do? :P

Okay, now it's hard to choose 11 bloggers, because I barely have anyone as a member, so I'll just tag everyone who I know right now haha.

Butterflies and Hurricanes

the creation of beauty is art. 

Spill beans

La La Land, Here I Come

the silence of the lambs

Pages off Life

Skinny love

Hot and Sweaty but Smells Good

Gawwhh. That's all I can tag for now. #woesofnewblogger

Phew. So that took quite some time. So glad I'm done!

Once again, thank you Ajay, and I'm so freaking glad I could be a part of this awesomeness. Seriously, I feel so honored! And for my readers, bloggers and non bloggers, thanks for taking time out to read this pointless blabbering and hopefully, this has helped you get to know me a bit better! You may or may not be surprised by what all you've learned about me today, and I just hope it didn't make me seem any less awesome than how awesome you think I am! Well I'm really tired now. Goodnight! *yawns* 

Letter to your annoyance

Dear annoyance,

   You think you're kewl? You think you're purrfecto? I am sorry I can't be amazing like you because I have other more important things to cater to. I don't need your "advice" or ways to let me down or suggestions or whatever it is that you call your ruthless running mouth. I don't need your criticisms or your shallow mind nose diving into my business. You may or may not intend to annoy me, but you, my lovely annoyer, have managed to be the cumulonimbus cloud to my perfectly sunny day. You can judge me xyz times and I may feel abc, but you know what you can't make me? Your own mind's manifestation. The world is not your handmade robots who tinkle when you say "tinkle". You are like the extension to my already long nails, or the piece of thread hanging on to my dress-unnecessary, insignificant, but annoying me like a pebble in my shoe, hoping to gain attention. Such a wannabe you are, aren't you ashamed of yourself? If I were you, I'd cocoon myself into a hammock and never come out, you know why? Coz everyone hates you. Keep your goddamn opinions to yourself and stop frying other people's brains because yours is already fried. You can eff off and live the life of an under appreciated tarantula and die the death of a kitten chewed and spat by a vulture(ouch). And even if that anticipated fate doesn't occur, you can blabber all you want, but you won't be heard. My ears are immune to your squacking and nothing can stop me from doing what I want to do the way I please to do it. Unless it will kill me, ofc.

   (And for my everloving supportive friends, I love you all and no, don't freak because that wasn't for you. You all are perfect the way you are and please don't get influenced by annoying good for nothing screechsnaps.)

Yours not-so-lovingly,
Annoyed but uninterrupted.