V-Day Special.

The whole day literally has a pink tint. It comes from wrapping papers and chocolate covers and blushes and flowers and all those kinds of things. Moreover, this picture has become the theme.

Unfortunately.

But of course, if you're single, you're gonna find all this overwhelmingly cheesy. For me, it feels like a way of rubbing in the fact that you're single, and watch Archies and chocolate industries prosper. If I tell you that V-day could also stand for Vomit-Inducing Day, would you kill me? :P
But I'm not here to ruin your mood, don't worry. I'm just here to share my v-day post because someone told me that blogs are incomplete without one. So here ya go!

Types of Couples:

A collection of experience and drama.
*Note- Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. If offensive in any way, it's unintentional.

1) Snobs- You enter a fancy Italian restaurant and hear a huge commotion. You look to the direction of the unearthly sound and hear the scream of a woman covered in makeup wearing the most elegantly designed Utopian outfit. Her husband is yelling at the waiter in a made-up Brit accent, something about there being only 2 plates of noodles when he ordered exactly 1.23 plates. His woman screams again and throws the 2 million dollar ring in front of him and walks off. Poor guy. He wipes his face with his 200 dollar silk hand-stitched handkerchief. 

2) Disturbing nicknames- "I love you my sock-candy" "Come here, you shoopy moopy" "Awwwwww baby you're my little wummy ear-hair" "I could just eat you up, my cuddle-popsickle" 

3) The Couple Who Can't Be Moved- You can play a banjo in their ears  or The Script song or there may be a hurricane outside, but these couples will simply not budge from their dreamworld. Their eyes are locked to each other and they won't care if you get run over by a bullock cart, coz they just won't budge.

4) The couples who act like they're not couples-  These are common among first-timers when they're too shy or egoistic to show their love for each other. These couples tend to act highly insulted when associated with their so-called lover and pretend to abuse each other. They force their friends to hang around with them when they try to sneak away to give some privacy, but still secretly want to be together.

5) Too much PDA- You're in the mall, in the middle of the main entrance area, and your eyes are just wandering around when you see a couple making out and getting all physical as you try your best to swallow down the bile that has been finding its way up. Even if you look away, you still can't seem to get rid of that scarring image in your head. You are completely grossed out. 

6) Revenge- This may mostly be one-sided, as sometimes people may date x to make y jealous. Your partner might not know that you are simply being used, and this kind of relationships usually end up with one person crying and the other person dying and the third person disgusted. Something along those lines.

7) The shy ones- Your eyes are on the floor at a 45 degree angle, just enough to see him through the corner of your eye to catch him looking at you. Then later your eyes meet again, and one of you will always make it a point to be nearby, but you both will just never talk. These 'couples' occur because none of them have the balls to confess, and either ends up with one person gathering guts to ask the person out, or the love just fading away because neither of you make the move for fear of being rejected.

8) Formal- These couples will follow the basic rules of courtesy and be a gentleman/lady to each other. They would spend approximately 4 hours and 48 minutes together, with constant breaks, and return before their curfew. They will hold hands for 3.8 minutes and address each other in the most respectful possible manner and assign kitchen duties to each other.

9) Boo Fighters- You hear them screaming on the phone, in the elevator, while watching a match, while cutting carrots, and they break up 700 times a day. Then they apologize and patch up 700 times more. Then they break up again. And that goes on forever.

10) Superheroes- These are the virtuous lovers who unite to do good for this world. They may start an orphanage together, or destroy Joker together, or extinguish a burning train together, or solve math problems together, or climb volcanoes together, all while wearing the same colored shirts. They seek adventure and passion but this one only works out if both of them are qualified and tested, non-couch potatoes. Here's one perfect example.

Yoko Ono and John Lennon in their campaign for peace

11) Friendzoned- Occurs between friends who start liking each other but don't know what's more important- their friendship or relationship. The guy/girl ends up being friendzoned with secret desires and dreams, whereas the other person just struts along trying to convince everyone (and him/herself) that they're just friends, when clearly, that's not the case.

12) Tough love- This is truly badass. The guy owns a badass bike and the girl has a badass tattoo. The guy has these intense glares and the girl just goes weak to her knees. The girl falls down and the guy catches her. Then they ride away in their badass bike and live a badass life in the underworld ...But in the non-badass sense, these couples just share this truly intense love which involves a lot of rhetorical questioning and it's overly dramatic and mostly seen in movies.

13) Long-distance- These estranged lovers constantly try and connect through technology but fail and cheat on each other, OR they wait until they unite and go crazy. Their love usually ends as a sad story, or a "Happily ever after" upon their meeting when the girl jumps on the guy and they embrace for hours.

14) Constant suspicion- These couples are more like spies than lovers. They probably have pen-cameras installed in your pockets and can track you down to find out where exactly and who exactly you were with at 7:48pm EST when you claimed you were busy. You will never be trusted and always spied on, so beware.

15) The unimaginable- One can never, ever, ever imagine these two together. One of them looks like a tadpole with a frisbee stuck inside, and the other is a freakin giraffe. One likes killing spiders in his spare time, and the other plays the clarinet with her toenails. They simply couldn't be thought of being together, but here they are, sharing an icecream, sitting on the same bench.

16) Couple-for-name- These couples are either a) desperate or b) wannabes. They fall into prey of peer pressure and want to date so people will think they are cool. They call themselves couples but don't even like each other. Or they're just so desperate that just being in a relationship somehow gives them a weird sense of satisfaction which is super hard for me to comprehend.

Then last but not the least, there is 17) Me- A single humbug who has remained so every year on this day for the last 16 years. I won't sigh because it's not really a bad thing. And for those who care about this day, once again, happy valentines daay, lovezies. I will try not to judge you. :*