Decisions - The Fresco Way.

Decisions are kind of like playing paintball. Confused?

Here're my awesome diagram skills for ya. 

Let's assume that this guy on the left is a representation of you. (It's okay, we're just assuming). Let's call him Mr. Fresco. Now, there have been several theories about acquired and ascribed characteristics, but for now, we're just gonna assume that all human beings are born colorless and bored, without a personality. You are just getting the hang of life, and haven't started making any decisions. You still don't know what you want/need. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco before he knew paintball existed. That's you before you made any decisions. 

Now, soon Mr. Fresco grows up and starts developing and thinking for himself. He starts understanding who he really is, and kind of has an idea about himself. He has figured himself out and knows who he is, and what kind of things he basically wants. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco before he played paintball. That's you when you started making some decisions. -->

After a few years, Mr. Fresco starts attending schools and parties, and you know, just having a life in general. He meets many people and makes many new friends. His friends influence him and decide for him what Fresco should want, and causes him to make decisions. Some change his life, in a good way and some in a bad way. Now he has several shades to who he originally was. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco after he played paintball- covered in different paints, and now he looks much different than earlier. That's you after you made some more decisions (bigger than earlier ones).

But eventually, Mr. Fresco goes like What the hell, I'm gonna have some more fun. His friends impact his decisions in life more and more. Earlier, Fresco didn't like to smoke, but now his friends influence him and convince him to decide that smoking is cool. Earlier, Fresco hated cupcakes, but then his girlfriend made cupcakes for him and impacted his decision on whether he should like cupcakes or not. In other words, that's Mr. Fresco after he spends the whole weekend playing paintball and gets completely drenched to the extent that his own mother couldn't recognize him. In fact, he couldn't recognize himself! That's you after you made major life-changing decisions.

So what has happened here? Mr. Fresco is a perfect example of how people play too much paintball these days, and get drenched with paint to such an extent that they lose their own base colors (pink, in Mr. Fresco's case). 

Sometimes, that's what happens to us. It's as if the paint/amount of paint you're covered with is the consequence of your decisions in life. The amount of paint your friends are covered with is the consequence of how much your decisions affect them. And the extent to which the paint makes you unrecognizable shows how much you have changed in the process. 

Of course, it's really easy for us to say that we got influenced naturally, and of course we got influenced naturally. In fact, it is impossible to not get influenced by people around us. However, we do have a say in decisions. We can DECIDE whether we want to get influenced or not. The power to decide may differ from people to people- some may be stubborn, some may be easy to manipulate. It is also up to you to make decisions about things that you know will change your life. It ranges from big ones like marriage to little ones like whether you should drink pepsi or coke. And some of these choices can rattle your minds and make you pop your eyes out like an owl, but the trick to reaching decisions is to decide how much it will affect your life and how much it will affect you as a person.

For instance, years later, Mr. Fresco may meet this really cool girl named Frescina and decides that he wants to marry her, but will he have to change in order to accomplish this task? Obviously, some changes will be required. He will have to shave more often and shop for groceries, but does that mean he will have to stop eating peanuts because his wife hates the very scent of peanuts? Or will he have to give up his X-Box because his wife hates video games? Now, Fresco may be willing to sacrifice some of that. He goes like What the hell, Frescina is way more important. But is she? Will she change you to such an extent that your own mother would not recognize you? To the extent that you won't recognize yourself?

Your life may be 70% consequences of your decisions and 30% result of luck/coincidences. Or maybe 99% decisions and 1% luck. I can't be sure of the percentages, because it differs from person to person. But one thing that you should be careful of, is to never lose yourself. If you were a bad person and have a heavy criminal record, the case differs, obv. But let's just assume that you are awesome the way you are (which I'm sure you are). You should never have to give up who you are in return for something/someone allegedly better/good for you. If Frescina is too demanding, forces you to wear floral outfits, and make you promote child labor, you should really reconsider your decision. It is in cases like these that you weigh your choices and decide what's more important- your identity, or the prize. If the prize is bigger, go for it. If it's not, think again. 

On a personal note, I have always considered myself a rather stubborn person. I have too much pride to change myself for other people, or things, or ideas, or decisions. That makes me sound shallow and non-risk-taker, but really, is it worth giving up my own identity for someone else? If that person is truly amazing and a true necessity in my life, I may be willing to sacrifice certain aspects of my identity. But if the consequences are gonna make me covered in paint that I don't want on me, then what's the point? That is the question that helps me make decisions in life. Of course, everyone has different ways, but this is simply how I think. 

...So yeah. That's my philosophy/explanation, you could say. This is a really complicated topic and opinions differ, and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as possible, and I'm sorry if I failed. If I have confused more, feel free to ask for explanation, I'll explain personally. Actually, I may be confused myself. -.- 

Till then, please have some pity. Wrote all this with a first-class writers block :P 

Much love,