The gratitude list.

So today morning, I set out on a mini-mission. Just out of the blue, I thought I'll take a walk around my neighborhood and try to get an approximate idea of the number of people who are smiling/seem happy. The results were not-so-happy.

If I were to draw a pie chart, this is what it would probably look like-

Now isn't that sad? Disregarding the made-up numbers and my attempt to seem mathematical in a seemingly math-lacking blog, it can be said without doubt that the majority of the people maintain a sad/neutral expression, suggesting that the general happiness level is low. Well there is this whole debate about having a neutral expression vs. making a smile your neutral expression, but that is not something I can get into at the moment (though I do feel that's an interesting debate and will definitely bring it up sometime later). 

If you're at a place where the general happiness seems low, how do you turn that around? By being happy yourself, you can spread happiness and be the angel of the area! If you're at a place where everyone is already smiling, well that is great! Let's try to maintain that.

I believe that one of the major reasons why the general happiness level of a particular place might seem low is because people are not grateful. If you are grateful, you feel happy, and maybe start by grateful of the little things in life.

So here are some little things I am grateful for/happy about (hopefully this will inspire you to create a list of your own!) -

1) Getting a new notebook- I spent the whole of the previous semester + half of the new semester using one notebook, and now that I have finally finished inking/pencil-ling all the pages, I can finally start using a new notebook! This notebook has uncrumpled pages, an ecstatic cover devoid of inkstains, spiral binding, and just the right amount of centimeters between the lines. Not to mention the smell of fresh paper!

2) Having an already-filled water bottle in my room- How annoying it is to go all the way to the water dispenser, stand there tapping toes, ensure the bottle is filled, and walk all the way back to my chair! I don't have to do that for another 2 days now! (jk, I meant 2 hours because I'm so wonderful and ever hydrated :)

3) Over my period- Need I elaborate on this, ladies? There are so many advantages of being off the monthly strife and rising amongst the altitude of normalcy. I won't have to deal with embarrassing sounds from my digestive system and pretend to have x10 terrifying cramps to gain sympathy and loads of chocolates from people who usually don't give a crap but are generally terrified of bleeding women. Also, I can totally re-engage in shameless carnal activities and/or pretend to say so to sound cool.

4)  My phone is still functioning- Oh, where would we be without our phones? Earlier today, I thought my phone died because the screen just suddenly went blank, but now it's back and working again. So glad to continue by nightly routine of stalking lives and gaining gossip via snapchat.

5) I will get 4 hours of sleep today, instead of the usual 3- Okay, maybe I did sleep for 8 hours for the past week, and today I'll just sleep for 4 it seems, but that is totally fine! Isn't it. Human beings are capable of surviving on 4 hours of sleep. Let me be optimistic. Dark circles are a sign of hardwork and a mysterious kind of beauty, and if it wasn't till now, I can totally change convention by pulling off this look. I'm sure there are more great things about my sleep timings.

6) I got my contact lenses on today on the first try- Usually, it takes me around 20 minutes because of my below average skills of wearing cosmetic equipment. When I can see properly, I can see all the happiness, and when I can see properly in less than 20 minutes, my vision captures even more happiness! Heh.

7) I'm still healthy- At the end of the day, even if a thousand things happen, isn't it great to still be healthy and intact? Okay, I did have a packet of chips just an hour ago. And a burger two hours ago. But at least I don't have narcolepsy or some other chronic illness! Man, so many things to be grateful for.

So that is it! My short list of things I'm grateful for. There are so many other little things to put here, things that we always take for granted but do matter a heck lot! So I'd recommend that you, too compile a list of gratefulness, and doing so everyday can keep you smiling every single day. Or every alternate day at least!

I promise to post more entries soon!
With affections and formalities (just to sound a little business-like in this informal domain),

Who needs grades when you have Center Fresh? (Plan B)

Today, I managed to watch tv after ages after finally emerging out from beneath my rock (temporarily) because Patrick has kicked me out because apparently now I've lost all my socializing skills and all starfish, brainful as well as brainless, hate me.
Unfortunately I'm still under the huge granite of a rock termed EXAMS. Today, whilst scribbling away any answers I could think of, the stupid invigilator snatched my paper and destroyed my mood in such a way that the only thing that would've made me feel better was tv. And not just tv.
Whenever I watch tv I make it a point to watch cheesy shows *cough* Indian serials. I watched one today in which this guy and a girl meet on facebook, share an assortment of chicken jokes to win camaderie, decide to meet at the local restaurant, seal their instant friendship with a hi5 (note: thats when their hands touch and violins pregnate the air), pull each other's cheeks, then decide to get married. However, the girl's father is a super conservative, paan chewing relic of an ancient, who smears ghee in his parantha with his bony fingers then reprimands his daughter saying "I VEEL HAVE NO INTER-CASTE MARRIAGE IN THIS PHAMILY." The girl says Nahiiin, cries in her bedroom, meets the boy secretly and they both decide to elope on a coughing scooter on the eve of the girl's eighteenth birthday, because eloping or not, they want to follow the law, for the legal marriage age in India is 18.
Then they book the best room at the "BEST ROOM HOTEL" and get mushy. Oh what's that, are you expecting some boogiewoogiedoogie? Oh no, these are the Indian peninsular species you are talking about, and they merely talked about the various dietary supplements for the following night (the girl makes the best mutter paneer in town), and then indulged in the cheek-pulling again.
Anyway, long story short, the guy ends up being a robber who planned to loot the girl's jewelry, the girl ends up being a useless lover of another man who smokes cigarettes and finds refuge in bigotry, the girl's dad ends up being an epilepsy patient who threatens his daughter by saying he will voluntarily die if his daughter marries a lower caste, and I end up one of those guys you find in Indian dhabas who yell COME HERE WE HAVE THE BEEEESTBUTTERCHICKENSAMOSADOSAMASALADOSAPOORINAANROTILEMONJUICEAPPLEJUICEMIXEDFRUITJUICEMANGOJUICEAndpizza. Okay I don't know why I included the last part. But now you know my secret ambition! I've been working at these tongue twisters recently....
Anyway, that is so not what this blog entry is about. While this putrid freckle of a show was puberty-ing, an advertisement came in between. And I loved it so much that I actually went and searched for it on YouTube because it's the best thing I have ever seen. Needless to say, chewing Center Fresh chewing gum will probably help with my newfound love for screaming out the menu at lightning speed in restaurants and dhabas. Okay maybe plan B.
For some reason blogger app is not allowing me to attach the video through phone (UGH!) But that doesn't mean I don't love you enough or that I don't want you to watch this ad (esp the middle part when he imitates the Fair and Lovely ad :'D) I laughed so hard at this!!!
Ps- if you don't understand Hindi; this video is basically a parody of all these popular Indian advertisements of toothpastes, fairness creams, Ambuja Cement, memory pills, etc, which are found on tv all too often.
I feel like there is some hope for this country. I think the cheesyness is actually what makes India India. WOOP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFYG4qF_vXk&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Ps- pray or do some witchcraft to enable me to pass all my exams and turn my colossal of an invigilator into a powerless squid.
Wahaha.

X and O?

I'm so confused. I always thought x stands for hugs and o for kisses, but I recently heard from somewhere that it's the other way around, that x stands for kisses and o for hugs?

I'm trying to see what makes more sense.

X- could mean hug. It does look like two people embracing. Even though it would be a weird hug involving just your middle body. Could work if your feet are cemented to the floor and your avoiding each other's faces because it's too ugly and you can't be near it.

O- could be a kiss. Like a pout or a little peck.

X- could be a kiss. You know, the messy French kiss. With the tongues all zig zag.

O- could be a hug. A weird hug opposite to the first hug where you hug only one's face and legs. Oh who am I kidding, there's no way that's a hug. If you hug like that in real life, I'm sorry but that's not an o. That's 0. For zero affection-sense. Get tutored by me.

Well. The internet is still pretty weird. And I'm still confused. What do you think x and o means? Please help me!

Ps- will start legit blogging after I'm done with board exams aka done with school forgood. And please forgive typos, delays, writers block, excuses, etc.

Xoxoxoxoxo (because if you read my entries, you get a hug as well as a kiss) (v-day special, brozers)

Girls vs. Guys- Facebook accounts.

You may or may not have noticed that my blog has entered puberty. If, by any chance you happened to be accessing my blog from around 8 to 9 pm IST and tried to hit refresh, your brain would have probably melted, surged through your ear canal, and made you deaf. Not to mention brainless. If you are brainless now, I needn't bother an explanation since you wouldn't comprehend it anyway, but in case your brain is still intact and you want to know the reason nevertheless, here it is. I was deep into the process of giving my blog a makeover, and well, what you see now is the result. Look around!

I mean, I know it doesn't look as if I worked very hard. The collage of my doodles in the blog cover and the creation of the background did not take very long. But what took long was fitting those things into my blog. UGH. It was so annoying! I had to resize the picture a frazouland times in order to make the cover photo fit. And why should it fit, you ask? Guys.... I think I have OCD. Some weird, things-should-fit-and-colors-should-change kind of an OCD. I'm sure there's a term more technical for it. Giraffe. On your left, in the background.

Anyway, it's funny that I'm typing this post right now because I haven't accessed Facebook in quite some time since the beginning of exams, but I had been thinking about having an entry about this phenomenon for a while. My dear mortals, within a few years from now, babies will be born without known genders, because no one would care about the chromosomes or peer at their peepees or do an ultrasound or any such thing. Rather, I have a theory that these infants will be given a laptop and told to access facebook, and this in turn would determine their gender.

Now I know I have exaggerated, obviously. But if you think about it, there most certainly are some definite distinctions between the way the two main opposite genders access social networking sites. And yes, I am aware that I'm generalizing (just like I always do for such posts), so I hope you will keep in mind that I'm in no way trying to push you into a category or mock you for being in one, rather rainbowunicornflowersponies nuffsaid. Besides, you should be aware that I'm totally a near-perfect example of one of those girly profiles.

1) Profile Pictures- If this is a guy's profile picture-

This is probably a girl's profile picture.

I don't think that anyone can deny that most guys do, indeed, have simpler profile pictures than girls. They just feel the need to crop their face from any random tagged picture and upload it into their profiles. In fact, most of the guys I know rarely change their profile pictures or care to upload their own profile picture. If they happen to be tagged in something, they will go ahead and profile it, after doing a wonderful job of cropping, of course. 

But girls? NO WAY. I don't think you realize that cropping a picture ruins the picture's resolution, and a picture's resolution is way too important to be tampered with. Girls, in most cases, need the best quality pictures that are in no way cropping any of their essential body parts, and understand the importance of pouting because smiling just hides the cheekbones and pouting makes them more prominent. Moreover, girls feel the need to edit their pictures, to highlight themselves and the beautiful background of the most beautiful resort where they've been chilling so people know that not only are they beautiful, but also that they appreciate nature and sceneries which make them seem innocent, appreciative, and humanitarian. Or simply hot. 

2) Captions of Profile Pictures- I find that guys rarely find the need to have captions for their pictures. They may be bald with a shark chewing remnants of hair, while juggling tomatoes and yet they don't feel the need to explain their actions in a minimum of one to two words. Like, c'mon, you could've written 'yolo' or 'bau5' or something in the caption, that would've be acceptable. But nooo. 

Girls, on the other hand, have 3 main kinds of captions:

1) Song lyrics- Lyrics are basically a girl's way of saying "wow look I'm so hot and this song totally describes my hotness and you should be reading these lyrics right now and downloading that song because it is totally directed towards you and listening to this song will hopefully remind you of me (and my hotness)." 

For eg: If a girl just went through a break-up, and she wants the guy to know that she's totally over him and doesn't give a damn, she will take the hottest picture possible, edit it to make it look even hotter, crop out the toothbrush and the bathroom mirror, and upload it with the lyrics 'WE ARE NEVER EVER EVERRRR, GETTING BACK TOGETHER!' She might even call up a friend and ask her to tag her in the picture so that it comes in the newsfeed and the person-under-question sees it... and regrets seeing it. 

2) Birthday captions!- Honestly, if a girl wanted, she could've merely texted her "BFFL WHO HAS SEEN ME SNIFFLE" or "PANTIE DINOSAUR XOXO" or "JUICY SAAXBOMB" instead of writing a lengthy caption detailing all sorts of maneuvers that she has had with her "OOPID DRUNKARD" on the night she dirty danced with a man who actually turned out to be a disgusted puritan. Why do girls write such long captions, or ask their friends to write long captions for them? For you to see it, of course! Birthday captions are just a girl's way of letting others know that she is fun, has friends, and you should either totally be jealous, or you should totally hang out with her too.

3) "HI OMG YOUR SO PRETTY BUT YOU WONT UPLOAD THIS PICTURE SO I UPLOADED IT, K? KBYE. LUV YA PRETTY THANG."- Captions/eulogies written by others. Either a girl is lucky enough to have such considerate friends who are always on the lookout for hot pictures of her comrade in her laptop that is uploadable on facebook, or the girl has bribed her friends into uploading the picture for her because the girl wants to be seen to have a modest, "I-have-better-things-to-do" attitude, OR her comrade herself uploaded the picture in hopes that the girl would also do the same for her and appreciate her beauty at some point later in life.

3) Timeline- Moment of nostalgia as I almost wrote "Wall" :(

A guy's timeline is usually kind of empty. If anyone did happen to write on his wall/timeline, it would be something vague, like a link to a dexterous wrestler's muscle-building secrets with the remark "yo we gotta do this" or "thats me in 10 yrs". Or it could be a link to a video game. Or a music video that features a hot model. Or a meme. Or a link to my blog. ;D

A girl's timeline on the other hand, and especially a girl who is, say, 14-15 and moderately popular, is filled with other people. Basically, they have wall-to-wall (now, timeline-to-timeline) conversations so a girl's wall is usually beautiful, colorful, and buzzing of a wonderful social life. 

What's that, you don't have such a lovely timeline? Aw, well that's okay. I gave up on wall-to-wall long back. Eventually, people tend to get sick of facebook. I know I am, so my wall is just.... oh wait, it's a timeline now, I keep forgetting! 

4) Comments (in pictures)- It wouldn't be surprising that low resolution, cropped pictures are unlikely to get a lot of comments...

Girls, on the other hand, usually get so much attention for their pictures. Or they make sure they get attention. I mean, come on, what could be more important than the number of likes you got for your picture, eh?

When I was younger, I would tell all my friends to 'check out' my profile picture whenever I changed it. It used to be such a big deal! My friends and I would request each other to like each others' profile pictures and comment on it, because nothing seemed more important than getting likes and comments. But after a point, it just doesn't matter. 

5) Status Updates- Now, thankfully I found at least one area where guys are, more or less, active. If anything, most of the guys I know do update their statuses quite often, but again, these updates are highly subjective. But probably what I see the most on my newsfeed are UPDATES ON SPORTS. So there I am, just chillliiin, scrolling down the newsfeed, and suddenly, from around 10-11 pm, there are all these shoutouts and type-screaming and analysis of players and reprimands at their shortcomings and all these unfamiliar names and unfamiliar games.... and my head just starts to spin. Now, I'm not saying that all girls are like me (I'm such a poor example), but I rarely watch/follow sports, so I have no clue what's going on. Oh, so Ronaldo scored a basket... sorry I mean goal? Oh, so Chesterfield.. I mean Manchester United is in this season..... and that man won wrestling? That's really great, oh wait, he didn't win? You thought he'd win but he didn't? Or wait, oh he's injured? Well that's bad........ seriously, it is just super hard for me to keep up. I do try, though. Like, I sincerely tried to watch cricket and actually follow it throughout 9th/10th grade. Is it obvious that I failed?

Girls rarely update their status in vivid enthusiasm for sports. They write about either a) their mundane daily adventures, or b) songs that are basically implicit messages towards.... (surprise)... you. So I always see statuses like "Just got out of the spa with my mum..... best mother-daughter day ever!" or "just sittin' here under the tree with my sweet ol' southern boy" or "I knew you were trouble when you walked in (trouble trouble trouble)" or "I just wanna shop all dayy!!! :)))" I wouldn't be the least surprise if girls start the trend of describing the difficulties/joy of their morning poo- "Just got out of the toilet! feelin' all excreted and healthy. ran out of toilet paper tho".

Unfortunately, my statuses rarely have to do with these things. My last status was this lame desi joke that I found HILARIOUS for some reason- "Santa and Banta were feeling happy. Happy got disgusted and went away". :D :D :D (Happy is a very popular name in India)

6) SMILEYS- Honestly, I have never seen guys use smileys. Or it is all too rare. And I know I'm not using smileys right now either, but trust me, it takes SO much self control, because I've used smileys throughout my adolescence and can not imagine not using them, because I feel like without them, things can be misinterpreted. Moreover, all my female minions also use smileys, so automatically, I end up using smileys in conversations with them too. 

For eg: Consider the phrase 'wow, you're so cool.' Now, when said without a smiley, it sounds sneering, almost sarcastic. Like, that time when you were reciting to your friends about the time when you were dancing like Ke$ha wearing rollerskates and you fell, and one of your friends go like "wow, you're so cool", HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF THEY MEAN IT OR NOT, HUH? Because personally, I think that's really cool. So if I'd say 'wow, you're so cool', I'd mean it. But it could also be said in a sarcastic way like, "wow, you think you're so cool but you're not". THAT is where the smiley comes in. So if I'm online, I'd just be like "wow, you're so cool!!! :'O :')" and anyone who's sarcastic can go like "wow, you're so cool -.- " so thereyago!

Well, that's all I can think of for now. However, if you can think of more distinctive behaviors adopted by girls and guys, why don't you comment and add to my little list? I think I can't think of any more reasons because, I'll be honest, ever since I got this awesome smartphone of mine, I just never felt the need to waste time stalking others on facebook when I could be stalking even more people through other applications! Oh hey, maybe I'll include an even better entry about other applications/websites as well!

But again, I haven't completely let go of Facebook. I still think it is a great way to connect to people who live in great distance from you, see what your old friends/acquaintances are up to, allow those who don't know you very well to get to know you, and find old friends because virtually everyone has an account on facebook. What's that, you don't? That's okay too. You must be having great self control, then.

:)))))) you know, before I end this entry, I felt like sharing two epiphanies that I recently had, about my own blog entries. Firstly, I noticed that I apparently put a lot of commas in my blog entries when I'm having a writer's block, have you noticed? Maybe you should read through the posts in which I mention things like "I wrote this with a writer's block!!" to clarify this point. And secondly, I have noticed that all my entries start off good but end bad! For example, this one. And I also end up saying things completely irrelevant and different from what I initially started off saying. I think that's because these entries, with the fancy pictures and all take too long, so by the time I'm finished, it's like.... 1 AM, lol. 

I've been noticing too many things lately, hmmph. That's just weird. 

Okay, good night! 

The meaning of Year.

A few days ago when 2013 was ending, I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling very sentimental. I don't know about you, but for me, the end of a year doesn't always feel like a closure. Or a beginning, for that matter. It did when I was younger. In fact, till I was about 13, every year I would take this huge strip of paper and write WELCOME (insert year)!!! with dots and squiggles and lines and every color of the rainbow with stars and hearts and every shape imaginable. But as the years grew, I realized what a 'year' could be symbolic of. (so this is where my 'find-the-deeper-meaning' mania kicks in). 

So what exactly is a year? 

365 days? 366 if it's a leap year?

52 weeks?

One summer, long winter, an autumn, a spring, and possibly a monsoon?

A school year. August to June. Then June to August to June. 

Lifespan? If you die young, if you're a certain insect, if you're a druggie, if you're an oxygen-deprived newborn?

A few diseases, a few hesitant appointments to the dentist with the coughing old lady and the braces-adorned receptionist's teeth. 

A marriage. A relationship. A friendship. An affair. A crush. Struggle to get over someone. A long battle for divorce?

Battle for justice for someone who died. A new pizza place that eventually ran out of business.

Phases. Emotions. Happy phase, sad phase, longing phase, hyper phase, emotional phase, reflective phase.

An anniversary. Your 18th birthday. An artist's short-lived fame. An acronym that went viral.

A struggle. A war. A battle. An argument. A fear. 

Continuation of a habit. Continually trying to rid of a habit. Rehab. Recovery. Miss Manners Classes. Yoga sessions. Anger Management sessions. Medication. The prescribed time to wear your retainers.

An academic course, badminton classes, your phone before you dropped it in the toilet.

And there are many other things. But do they all begin here, this very moment? Do they all end here, at this very moment (assuming it's January 1st right now). 

Are you okay with putting so much pressure on this one teeny 24 hour-ed day right here, where you are going to end it all, end all the fear of the cold weather, end all those feelings you had for someone, end all your aspirations of becoming a pilot, end becoming an alcoholic ....begin rehab, begin reliving your life, begin letting go, begin trying harder.

For all it could mean, you could make this very day your starting and ending point for all the things I mentioned above, things that you've been dying to change for ages, things that you've overlooked. You could end it all and begin a new life right here, on this first day of this first month.... but does that mean on the eve of New Year you sit in your terrace and go like "Okay, 2 more days till I become a new person" and then wait till it's exactly 12 so you suddenly take off that purple bandanna you're wearing and replace it with a helmet? 

You don't need to wait that long. What you should realize is that, if you want, every single day, every single moment, THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, could be a new beginning or an ending. It could be the beginning of a beginning or a beginning of an ending as well, if it's a process that you plan to initiate. TODAY, no wait, THIS MOMENT, THIS NANOSECOND could be the beginning of an year even if it may be like 18th of April. 

Back to why I wasn't feeling sentimental... For me, I control the day. I control when it begins, I control when it ends. If I want I could make the sun rise at 7pm and begin something. If I want I could set the sun at 10am. I could stretch the sun of my mind out into a rectangle and be like, okay sun, you're going to rise starting from this moment, and you should end rising by 5pm tomorrow. Then you can start setting and end setting within around 11 days. 

Okay, that's it for now. I'm so sleepy and again, I know I'm going to regret posting this entry when I see this in the morning/afternoon when I wake up, when I know that I myself rarely follow this wonderful advisory logic that I've just sort of put in words, that I always forget that I have the power to control the sun (of my mind, ofc), that every day can be a new beginning/ending, if I set my mind to it.

But anyway, I don't think people should take that as an excuse and stop celebrating New Year's. It's still a very cool concept.

Happy 2014! :)

Food for Thought?

Might I take a moment to acknowledge the (unrevered) fact - It's December! And you know what that means. Christmas carols, anonymous presents, and calorie gains are only subordinate to high adrenaline for it's GRADUATION YEAR next month which means you're going to, you know, die.

It is amongst all this hungama that I find time to do general mundane activities such as eating or eating in restaurants. A few days ago I went to a restaurant with my family to gnaw and gulp some endearing Indian delicacies when I noticed this interesting trend that I thought would be suitable for one of my stupid blog entries.

OMG.

So what I've horribly sketched here is the overall outline of the restaurant.....

Okay, so this is the LOL restaurant. It doesn't have to stand for Laughing Out Loud, or Lots of Love. It could stand for, say, Lecturing Objectionable Llamas. 

(That's a llama wearing a bikini smoking weed.)

(Jk. That's my desperate attempt at trying to be funny. And let's just get past this, because this is a restaurant, not llama rehab.)

So Laughing Out Llamas or Lecturing whoever, I went to this restaurant and the circle things in the diagram above represent different tables where people could sit. There were two on the left, two on the right, three in the middle, and four at the back. Note that even if I have made the three tables in the middle purple, they actually were exactly identical to their furniture friends on the sides. 

Okay so the four blue people at the entrance is me, my dadi, and my parents. So we're entering the restaurant, and we notice that 7 of the 11 tables were occupied with the little black circles (representing customers). So we look around, deciding where to sit. And without much ado, we choose the second brown table on the right. 

Then another family arrives.

After thinking for quite a bit, the new family chooses the table near the back row, which I have marked. 

Do you see the trend?

When this family chose the table near the back row, it made me wonder. Why didn't they choose the middle, or the front table? It's not like those tables were made of velociraptor skin or had thorny chairs. And it's not like the tables we chose had hot waiters enacting Glee scenes. Every freaking table in the restaurant was the same, made of the same material, and just as appealing. 

Everyone who entered that restaurant chose tables that were near other occupied tables, and out of direct view so that when someone would enter and their eyes go straight to the center, it would meet the seclusion of a desolate, empty purple table that no one really thought of occupying. 

Now before you begin brandishing your opinion of my absurdity here, I know what I'm saying here is also pretty stupid. Firstly, who is weird enough to notice such things, forget making an entry about it? Moreover, this 'trend' that I have noticed is not applicable in every scenario, because I have definitely seen people choosing tables that may be beyond the solar system. 

But don't you think this sort of scene does happen once in a while? And maybe there is some explanation for it?

This, my beloved reader(s), arises from our general human tendency of conformity. I tried to Google this phenomenon but I could find none underlining my allegations of conformity in restaurants, so I'll remind you that this is just me rambling and straying away from any possible facts that I may or may not have overlooked. So don't count my little theory as the one and only, and possibly as the accurate, because, you know, I'm just thinking.... 

None of us really like to stand out. I mean, when everyone at a party wears formal wear because it's the dress code, you don't just barge in in your panda costume (hopefully) (but this could totally happen if you're the girl in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging). When all your friends like a person, you also try to like the person and notice the good qualities in them. As much as you may deny, as hard as you may try to 'stand out' and be different, at the end of the day, there are some things, as minor as they may be, that make you conform, and this little restaurant scenario is just one of them. 

Both our families did not choose the tables in the center, because well, as blatantly as we may try to deny, we didn't really fancy standing out or be in perfect view for everyone to enjoy watching us wipe butter chicken off our nose, or pull out strands of our hairs from our mouth while eating. Besides, the human tendency to seek contact and be near others similar to us is a given, innate quality and well, I guess we are more comfortable being around people like us, with their flawed eating styles so if someone were to enter the restaurant and judge us, he/she wouldn't just look at us, but also everyone around us, and would probably conclude that this restaurant indeed is Llama Rehab and walk out. So if you're eating like a reckless hominid, your wacky eating habits will be covered by the wackier eating styles of your hominid comrades sitting in tables surrounding yours.

Actually, if you think about this whole conformity thing, it can be dated further back to something totally unrelated yet equally intriguing.

So I have been tweezing my eyebrows since I was 12, then I started getting them done properly since 9th grade. Now, why do I get them done? Because well, it is given that having thin eyebrows supposedly make you prettier and more presentable. And why is it 'given'? Because, well, everyone around me gets their eyebrows done and tries to advocate this practice. 

But if I think about it, like really think, I would jolly well love to just not get my eyebrows done. It is annoying, painful, and makes me visit the parlor 800 times a month when I would much rather stay home in my Extra Extra Extra Large Tshirt, sprawled on the couch. 

But I still go. And I still have thin eyebrows.

However, thin eyebrows weren't always the trend.

So this is Shyama, a Bollywood actress of the 1950s, and as you can see, she has thick eyebrows. This shows that okay, maybe not all our lovely ladies of the 50s had thick eyebrows, but surely, it was a trend at some point- maybe when your grandmother's grandmother was conceived- but it was a trend nevertheless. Then sometime between India's converting from Kurtas to Jeans, eyebrows went from thick to thin. I saw my friends getting their eyebrows done thin, so I also started getting them done thin. 

Now you ask, how in the world/why in the world did I bring eyebrows into the restaurant/llama rehab?

Well, both these cases are similar because they show that as human beings, we tend to go along with the crowd and do what everyone else is doing. We try not to create a scene. But you know, again I'm just being general. Because personally, I would LOVE to stand out, and that's what I always try to do. 

Anyway, I leave it to you to decide whether this whole entry that I have just finished typing with this throbbing writer's block makes sense or not. Meanwhile, I think I'm going to catch up on my sleep. 

One more thing though- Lately, I have been obsessed with WWYD videos on Youtube. These videos show how human beings sometimes choose to break free of the notion of conformity, which results in some really heartening beautiful incidents that give me hope for human beings. So I would highly recommend you watch these videos. Not unproductive at all, I promise.

Much love (and heavy droopy eyes), 

Bloggiversary.

Did anyone notice I changed the background? It's a picture of a stick figure clicking a picture of a snail against a warm color scheme. The colors just bring me closer to summer, which has been slowly slipping away in these cold days. That's why I thought of the background as decent. But do you have another background in mind? Talk to me, on the left.

Today is such a tragic day. I'm always so indifferent while climbing stairs. I mean, what can be exciting about stairs, they are just. stairs. Escalators are still a little exciting, but no one notices stairs, okay? Unless it's the stairway to heaven. But even in that case, you're trying to get to heaven, and the stairs are just sort of like little obstacles that you have to cross. And waise bhi, when was the last time you counted the number of steps you took to reach the top of a flight of stairs, or noticed the floral/dotted designs on it? Maybe my ignorance is why, today I just simply got so lost in the mundane-ness of stairs that I overlooked the last three steps, fell down, and twisted my ankle.

Lovely. Now I can't dance for the Bloggiversary.

Aaah, why am I so irresponsible and posting this entry 9 days late? What was I doing 9 days ago? I have been so dazed and loaded with assignments that this Bloggiversary thing just totally slipped my mind! In fact, I haven't been blogging for a while. But you can't really blame me. I'm in the !2th gr@de, and snatching 4-hour sleeps, and spending the rest of the day in Hell-Utopia, while trying not to drown in caffeine. Ugh, I feel so unhealthy.

Anyhoo, I will try not to get my pre-college woes into today's blog entry. Because today - 9 days was/is a special day. I'm at this very special place today- I'm in the midpoint. This is the point where I look back, look at the present, and look into the future and make inaccurate predictions about what is to happen to this blog.

LE PAST
After mini-decades of fulfilling my writing urges on pieces of scratch paper and incomplete word documents, I decided that it is time that I share my writing to the world, and maybe gain some recognition. My first brilliant idea was to create a novel, but I found it too formal and unworthy of someone so lazy as me, so I came up with another brilliant idea, which stayed in my head like a tiny centipede for days, before it began to tickle.
Me: Yo, I wanna make a blog!
Yo: No you can't, you suck.
Me: No! I think I can do this!
Yo: You will make a blog, be thrilled for a few days, then ship it off to Manila as you wipe the spiderwebs off your fingers.
Me: You're such a pessimist.... you just wait and watch, yo. I'm gonna make me a blog!

So one fine day, on the October of 2012, I sat down and made this blog. I didn't really have to brainstorm much, having pre-brainstormed the night before, and pre-pre-brainstormed the week before, but I did have to spend some sweat on figuring out a decent layout, background, etc. Eventually, when I was satisfied, I quickly typed a blog entry, made a horrible little drawing on Paint, and published it. Shared it on a few social networking sites, then waited.

PRE-SAAANT
I must say, the present is so pleasant! When I look back at Le Past, I don't see much difference in my writing style (do you?), but I think my drawing skills have improved a bit, heh. I started off with 0 views, and 2 followers- 2, because I blackmailed and bribed a couple of my friends into making Google accounts and following my blog, to which only 2 people actually listened. However, today, I have 3188 views, an awesomesaucerful of awesome people following my blog, a beautiful amount of emails and prompts to encourage me to continue writing, and this overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I mean, hey, Neil Armstrong may have walked the moon and accomplished something awesome. But I think I rocked the Earth (or at least, the virtual Earth/internet), and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

Honestly, I am just SO HAPPY! I think I'm gonna start crying... never did I think that people would actually read/ follow my blog on a regular basis! I want to acknowledge my readers from all over the world who read my blog, seriously guys, you keep me going. When I see people from all sorts of nationalities gaining access to my blogs somehow, I just feel so accomplished and so happy! Thank you all SO SO SO much, for making this blogging experience for me a truly incredible experience, and I can assure you, I won't be shipping this beloved blog of mine to Manila any time soon. :*

LE FUTURE
You know how people have different theories for the Earth's future? Some go way ahead and predict an assortment of apocalypses to freak everyone out, whilst others rewind a little, and focus on this sort of world with flying cars and unicorn-bellhops. Now, I am most certainly not denying the possibility of an apocalypse for this blog, neither am I denying the possibility of a wondrous makeover and advancement, so that if I get rich by any chance, I could make this blog an official website and use all sorts of gadgets to make this blog like really really cool.

I can't predict the future accurately, but I do know one thing. Some people love grinding teeth, and others love yodeling, and the skies may fall down and butterflies may turn back to catterpillars, but I will keep writing, and love writing, because writing is like the masala to my curry, or the lice found in a hobo's unkempt hair. Those are two very strange and irrelevant analogies, but seriously people, I love writing, and this is totally something I wanna keep doing for as long as I physically can. So yes, Le Future for Fancy Awakenings seems rather fancy.


Well, I think I was gracious enough for this little blogpost. And well, if you read all this, thank you so very much. I most certainly can not continue blogging without your support, beloved reader! So please keep visiting my blog whenever you can, and I promise I'll work hard and show absolute gratitude towards my readers, however I can.

Wooot! Blog baby, you're a year old now!

 

Love always,

The waiter who dropped the food.

Aah, I have a terrible writer's block since I haven't been writing in so long, so plz bear with me.

Hey there, middle-aged waiter with distressed look, scurrying about nervously. What's that, your badge says 'Monu' but your actual name is Jayadarshan Merkuku? They made you change it because it sounds too grand?                                                                                                                                                                                                   Your hair is graying, and you squint at the tiny letters on the menus you bring for your customers. You seem more than desperate to do the job right, however, it can easily be made out waitering isn't quite your skill. You seem too old to be doing the job part-time to collect enough summer job money to visit your girlfriend in Meerut, and too young to be an arrogant humbug slamming menus on tables to earn enough money for a pack of cigarettes.                                                                                                                                                               Middle-aged Monu, did you ever think you'll be a waiter at a first class restaurant in a third world country, accustoming your aching eardrums with the melody of profanities from your employers? 

Let's face it, Monu. Your meek self isn't fit for the steady restaurant business with its mean-looking employers combing their thick mustaches while lifting cash instead of weights with their left hands. Those employers gleam with pride at their owner buddies and say Yeh toh baayen haath ka khel hain, bhai (This task is so simple that it can be done with your left hand), and sneer at you, as your knees tremble. 

But Monu, is it your fault? You have 3 kids and a baby to feed at home, and your wife is sick and tired of scouring the whole village for food. Your hair is oily and sickening due to the lack of the usage of latest hair products <did you guys hear of Beer Shampoo?>, but yet work you must. You have to pocket that meager salary and go to the chai dukaan (tea shop) to buy bread and butter for your family. 

You are scared, dead scared of losing this job, because who wants unskilled, inexperienced people like you, especially in the allegedly fastest developing country in the world? You are just a tiny plant in the middle of the road- either get run over, or grow into a giant tree. Your tiny village failed to educate you, and your children are compulsorily being sent to government schools where they come home with a bruised lip and scarred brain by their corporal punishment followers, aka teachers.

Monu, uff, what's that? You dropped the food as you scurried towards the waiting customers? And what now, you received your manager's foot in return for your obviously unacceptable and disrespectful behavior? Tsk tsk, you are so bad, Monu.                                                                                                                                                     After all, Monu, don't you know it's bad manners to get your personal life involved in your professional life? Do your employers know, do your employers care if you lose your job? Do your employers care if you are shooed away whenever you seek work elsewhere? Do you think they will sympathize? You are only a burden to the restaurant. Quit before they fire you, live like a vagabond if you have to.

Ohh, Monu, can you please stop crying now? Losing those fluids will only make you thirsty- where will you drink water from? Through the dirty taps at the side of the roads, right next to the carefree peeing man and the mooing cow? You know what? I'll give you an advice. Go stand in the middle of the road. But wait! Not so quick. Don't be stupid now, get your family to stand with you! What are they to do if you get run over? And you know what, that is not enough. Call all your friends, all your relatives, all those around you that you see suffering. Now see, all you poor and ugly people, plant yourself in the middle of the road. What's that, a BMW is racing full speed towards you? Well, don't you bother, trust me on this, stand right there.

Fellow humanity lovers, do you see what happened here? Those beggars got run over, but their corpses remain. And now there is a giant tree with red leaves instead of that sapling that once stood there. Commuters obviously have a lot of trouble now. They will have to drive around the tree, and plans are being carried out to have that giant, shaming tree cut from the middle of the road. After all, that is the venue of the latest, most gorgeous *world class* race course. That tree is a barrier, it is ugly, disturbing, and completely unnecessary. So let's just cut it off, huh?

I live in a third world country, and probably only the residents of my country can understand the deep politics and development errors going on right now. Maybe it is not relatable to everyone. Maybe, I exaggerated a bit. However, you must agree that there is some relevance beneath the shade of that bloody tree I have made. India, I freakin' love you, you are such a beautiful country, but you are forgetting something very important. Being 'developed' does not mean race courses and five star hotels. Of course, that is part of the picture, but part of it is also eradicating the little problems in life that we overlook. Today itself, I witnessed a distressed waiter dropping the food at the restaurant and getting an air of profanities from the manager. Of course, he never got beat up. But ever heard of mutual respect, and some understanding?

And to my first-world readers, this is very much relevant to daily life as well. Most of us are constantly in a race to be the best, to reach the highest goals, the highest paths. That's when we overlook certain little things, get demoralized a little, because, of course, don't we all have our own problems too, to look at other peoples' problems? Towards our struggles to success, we push down a lot of people, and some of them are people we never intended to hurt. Though class difference is a more prevalent problem in India, discrimination is world wide. There is a difference between having a bad day and a bad life. Monu's employers had a bad day, but to Monu, his actions were completely the results of a bad life. Do you think Monu loves his job?

Again, due to class difference, in India, waitering is not considered a good job. It is not the same as your typical summer job, people become disrespected waiters out of desperation. But is this where we want to head? Is this what we want our children, our grand children, and our great grand children to go through as well? A whole legacy of shame and bloody trees?

Aah, I could go on and list a whole bunch of problems with this country, all the skepticism of India as a developing country. I could go on about humanity, and I could vaguely describe the disgust and awe I feel juxtaposed in the newspaper, which I have gotten sick of reading these days, just btw. I see a lot of Indian bloggers around me blogging away about corruption, rape, politics, poverty, and every root of India's problems and the slumping value of the Rupee against the dollar, the shattered hopes of students wanting to study abroad, and the absolutely non-affected rich along with the poor too worried about feeding their empty stomachs to think about the sensex and Aam Aadmi Party.

Aaah, I'm so sleepy. I promise you though, the next blog entry will hopefully be much more cheerful, haha. 

"Go On".

I was awake tonight instead of sleeping, because of this TV show. It's called "Go On", and I had heard about it before, but never really got around to seeing it. From what I've gathered, it's about this guy who loses his wife, yet hallucinates her presence and that keeps him sort of sane and insane at the same time. He misses her all the time, yet, he knows that he must move on, for his own health. It made me wonder, why is this show with such a tragic story considered so comical? (it was coming on Comedy Central) Is the 'moving on' part supposed to be funny? Is it wholly funny, or sadly funny, because come on, the guy's lost his wife, he can't really function properly without her. Is it funny because he is such a fail without her, and is the show trying to point out the meaning of a soul mate? Or is the show funny because of funny things completely unrelated to the death of his wife, and is the show trying to point out how insane and unreliable humans are? Or some mysterious third option that is blatantly pointing out my foolishness because of my overthinking brain? Either ways, I'm confused, and this is haunting me.

We try to move on all the time, I don't think this is applicable to just relationships, it's just something you come across life all the time. And it's not easy. But it is essential. Unless something can be done to undo the need to move on. And if that something is possible, you should run full speed towards it, and grab that thing that you've been having trouble letting go of. If it is unattainable, perhaps in an imaginary unattainable place, you have to let it go, and well, "go on".

I think this is a great show. It makes me think when I'm not supposed to think and supposed to simply laugh at the funny scenes. The topic they picked is just very curious, that's all.

Oh, look at the time. I'm probably going to whack myself in the head in the morning for posting when I'm half unconscious. But hey, I didn't make any spelling/grammatical errors!

Yours truly, 

When you can't sleep....

So before I start my blabbering, let me just enlighten you by erasing your doubts concerning my blog's new look, yes, I gave my blog a makeover. For those who don't care and trying to convince me that the applause I just heard was actually the sound of you flushing the toilet.. well... <insert intimidating threat>

Anyhoo, summer is here. You know what that means. No.. not tap-dancing or graffiti-ing your country, those activities are subjective. I'm talking about messed up sleeping patterns. School's out, college's out, work's.. well, you can always take a leave, I guess? But the point is, one of the best things about summer vacations is none other than getting to sleep. There are some who stay up all night, and sleep throughout day, and there are some of us who sleep from 9am-10am, then again from 5pm-1am, or whatever wacky schedule you have organized for yourself.

But then there comes the one day you suddenly have to wake up before 2pm. Maybe you have to attend an important meeting discussing the banning of #hash#tags, maybe you're a plant and need sunshine for photosynthesis, or maybe you were just plain sick of those countless reprimands from your parents regarding your flattering sleeping habits. Either ways, some day or the other, you have to wake up early. So regretfully, you go to sleep at 10.

11 PM


"The dinner was pretty good."
"I should probably wax."
"Can't believe she is dating him."
"I should go shopping."
"Man, I miss my old school."
"I hate this pillow cover."
"Did a mosquito just bite me? Or was that an ant?"
"I should study more."

2 AM

"My AC sounds like a washing machine."
"Will I look good in dreadlocks?"
"Why can't I sleep?"
"I wonder what xyz is doing right now."
*slips into imaginary situation with xyz*

"Aah, I have such a terrible life!"
"I wanna go back in tiiime"
"That Brampton girl was unbelievably racist"
"What if I get leukemia?"
"omgg i had a headache yesterday... that's a symptom"
"That reminds me. I need to look up 'asymptote' or some word like that... I saw it somewhere"
"Why doesn't he/she like me?!!!?!"
"Not all atheists are scientists"
"My physsics teacher had a tattoo omgg"
"MIND- SHUT UP! I WANT TO SLEp. sLeeeeeeeep. im soo slepey "
"I sholud dowlnoad msic"

3:21 AM

"this stupdi pillow is ruinig my lfie"
"IO WANT OT BE A BEAARS SO I HIBERNEATE"
"i... i'm gonna pop some scashh.... huntinn... come up... i look incrediBUL im in this bigass coat"
"Peeeh, pe pe, pepepepe PE!!!!! Kaun banega crorepati!!!!"
"I'm so useless. I can't do the split/"
"sugar.... nee neeed sugar"

"Crap. I need to pee."
"No, I should probabkblyt hold it or i may feel like peeing every night at thtihis time"
"what if I were elastic"
"omgg!!" *replays scene from Scary Movie 3 in head*
"ccccccccccollege. no, i don't need to think about thaat"

4:47 AM


"What ..si happegnin?! the beds getting vertical...."
"the apocalypse is here..!"
"har ghadi... badal rahi hain"
"frrrrr frr pigeon frrrr frrr"

6:00 AM

"o"
...

When I was in the 5th grade, our teachers had asked us to bring a scroll of paper from home with our new year resolutions written on it, and make it as pretty as possible. So I sat down with some paint and scribbled "I will improve my Sleeping Habits" in big letters and brought it to school. The teacher put all our resolutions up on the board and we vowed to follow them. However, it's been around 7 years and my sleeping habits haven't improved, unfortunately. They have gotten worse, I think.
Oh well.