The meaning of Year.

A few days ago when 2013 was ending, I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling very sentimental. I don't know about you, but for me, the end of a year doesn't always feel like a closure. Or a beginning, for that matter. It did when I was younger. In fact, till I was about 13, every year I would take this huge strip of paper and write WELCOME (insert year)!!! with dots and squiggles and lines and every color of the rainbow with stars and hearts and every shape imaginable. But as the years grew, I realized what a 'year' could be symbolic of. (so this is where my 'find-the-deeper-meaning' mania kicks in). 

So what exactly is a year? 

365 days? 366 if it's a leap year?

52 weeks?

One summer, long winter, an autumn, a spring, and possibly a monsoon?

A school year. August to June. Then June to August to June. 

Lifespan? If you die young, if you're a certain insect, if you're a druggie, if you're an oxygen-deprived newborn?

A few diseases, a few hesitant appointments to the dentist with the coughing old lady and the braces-adorned receptionist's teeth. 

A marriage. A relationship. A friendship. An affair. A crush. Struggle to get over someone. A long battle for divorce?

Battle for justice for someone who died. A new pizza place that eventually ran out of business.

Phases. Emotions. Happy phase, sad phase, longing phase, hyper phase, emotional phase, reflective phase.

An anniversary. Your 18th birthday. An artist's short-lived fame. An acronym that went viral.

A struggle. A war. A battle. An argument. A fear. 

Continuation of a habit. Continually trying to rid of a habit. Rehab. Recovery. Miss Manners Classes. Yoga sessions. Anger Management sessions. Medication. The prescribed time to wear your retainers.

An academic course, badminton classes, your phone before you dropped it in the toilet.

And there are many other things. But do they all begin here, this very moment? Do they all end here, at this very moment (assuming it's January 1st right now). 

Are you okay with putting so much pressure on this one teeny 24 hour-ed day right here, where you are going to end it all, end all the fear of the cold weather, end all those feelings you had for someone, end all your aspirations of becoming a pilot, end becoming an alcoholic ....begin rehab, begin reliving your life, begin letting go, begin trying harder.

For all it could mean, you could make this very day your starting and ending point for all the things I mentioned above, things that you've been dying to change for ages, things that you've overlooked. You could end it all and begin a new life right here, on this first day of this first month.... but does that mean on the eve of New Year you sit in your terrace and go like "Okay, 2 more days till I become a new person" and then wait till it's exactly 12 so you suddenly take off that purple bandanna you're wearing and replace it with a helmet? 

You don't need to wait that long. What you should realize is that, if you want, every single day, every single moment, THIS VERY MOMENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, could be a new beginning or an ending. It could be the beginning of a beginning or a beginning of an ending as well, if it's a process that you plan to initiate. TODAY, no wait, THIS MOMENT, THIS NANOSECOND could be the beginning of an year even if it may be like 18th of April. 

Back to why I wasn't feeling sentimental... For me, I control the day. I control when it begins, I control when it ends. If I want I could make the sun rise at 7pm and begin something. If I want I could set the sun at 10am. I could stretch the sun of my mind out into a rectangle and be like, okay sun, you're going to rise starting from this moment, and you should end rising by 5pm tomorrow. Then you can start setting and end setting within around 11 days. 

Okay, that's it for now. I'm so sleepy and again, I know I'm going to regret posting this entry when I see this in the morning/afternoon when I wake up, when I know that I myself rarely follow this wonderful advisory logic that I've just sort of put in words, that I always forget that I have the power to control the sun (of my mind, ofc), that every day can be a new beginning/ending, if I set my mind to it.

But anyway, I don't think people should take that as an excuse and stop celebrating New Year's. It's still a very cool concept.

Happy 2014! :)