This entry was supposed to be posted on valentines day but I didn't post it then because... I'll leave that a mystery heheh.
Okay no, stop thinking ew.
Well since I'm wonderful and terrible at the same time, I want to help you be a valentines day buzzkill. Why would you want to be a buzzkill, you ask? Because they add a little spice to the typical cheesiness of v-day! Also because you're mean and a terrible person phwahaha. Other than sulking and sighing all day at whatever your SO does for you, I think these tips might help you a little. At the same time, it can help you reject annoying cactus thorns that cling to your clothes in the fierce desert of love filled with mirages and thirst. (aah the metaphors I come up with)
But hey, don't forget to read the disclaimer in the end as well.
PS- Grey's anatomy dialogues ftw?
1) Person: Will you go to the movies with me this Saturday? :)
You: I'm against multimedia content.
2) Person: Truth is......................................................................................... I like you a lot.
You: Truth is................................................................ you read too many Facebook statuses.
3) Person: I love you!
You: Duly noted.
4) Person: I think we should stop pretending and just admit that we're crazy about each other.
You: I wasn't pretending to be batman I actually am him why won't anyone listen to me
5) Person: Kiss me.
You: Ki-ki-kiss me, infect me with your love and fill me with your poison take me.....
6) Person: Will you go out for dinner with me?
You: Yes but let me just bring my poor and hungry family along. We never say no to free food!
7) Person: I'm gonna take you home with me tonight!
You: Alright, but my feng shui skills are less than average, just sayin'/
8) Person: I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
You: *farts* You sure?
9) Person: I promise I will never ever ever ever upset you.
You: Okay Taylor Swift! <3
10) Person: You always know the right words to say to me!
You: That was the alcohol speaking...
11) Person: Hey babe, I want us to get back together.
You: YA CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
12) Person: You smell so nice all the time.
You: Oh so the Swahili boar dung worked?
13) Person: My heart skips a beat every time I see you.
You: I stop my heart from beating every time I see you.
14) Person: Your smile just brightens up my day!
You: I stopped brushing 5 days ago.
15) Person: Can I get you a drink?
You: Yes, I'd like onion juice with garlic cream on top.
16) Person: I have changed, I promise!
You: No you're still wearing that Chick Magnet shirt you wore three days ago.
17) Person: I don't know what I'd do without you.
You: I don't know what to do with you.
18) Person: I think about you all the time.
You: I knoww, I should probably return that money I stole from you.
19) Person: Run away with me.
You: No but I can skip away with you.
Person: Hahahaha. Not funny.
You: Then I'll just skip away from you, meanie.
20) Person: Will you marry me?
You: Wait let me consult my desi parents, cousins, astrologers, aunts, uncles, the hairy hobo who lives outside my neighborhood, the school nurse, the bartender, Ramu the cow, tea leaves, your mailman, your physician, and your ex girlfriend too, just to be sure.
21) Person: We just have so much in common, it's like we are meant to be.
You: We are siblings and were separated at birth, I found out three days ago. It's okay though, I think incest is cool too.
22) Person: I can't live without you.
You: I'm sure there are better doctors in this world!
23) Person: I can't believe you're all mine.
You: I can't believe it either.
24) Person: I love you!
You: I love you too Lyla!
Chad: Who's Lyla wtf.
You: I am.
Chad: What... anyway I'll forget that. I love you!
You: Lylaaa, I love you so much!
25) Person: *hugs you*
You: *scream really loudly in their ear* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
26) Person: I love you!
You: Sorry I didn't hear that! There's a lot of earwax in my ear it seems.... please help me get it out? It's softened a little now that I've been poking it for some time. The doctor said its occurrence has decreased ever since I started using sanitary earbuds instead of that dirty pencil at home. I gave it to you once actually...
Disclaimer: Firstly, heheh I don't expect you to use these dialogues in real life! because some of these are lame and some of these might hurt others. Remember, whoever says these nice things to you, no matter how cheesy they may sound, mean well, so don't be mean to anyone who says "I love you" to you. We should all be very sensitive so if you are sure that you don't want to be sensitive/you know this person won't take it too seriously, it's okay to be a buzzkill. :)
ALSEW, this post reminds me of my epic Fun Insults entry that you must check out, whether or not you are a buzzkill! Also, I love cactus, they don't annoy me one bit. Though they do seem annoyed themselves. Don't you think most cactus look as if they are making some suggestive hand gestures? NOW WHO'S MEAN.
Jk I love all vegetation, good night.
Okay no, stop thinking ew.
Well since I'm wonderful and terrible at the same time, I want to help you be a valentines day buzzkill. Why would you want to be a buzzkill, you ask? Because they add a little spice to the typical cheesiness of v-day! Also because you're mean and a terrible person phwahaha. Other than sulking and sighing all day at whatever your SO does for you, I think these tips might help you a little. At the same time, it can help you reject annoying cactus thorns that cling to your clothes in the fierce desert of love filled with mirages and thirst. (aah the metaphors I come up with)
But hey, don't forget to read the disclaimer in the end as well.
1) Person: Will you go to the movies with me this Saturday? :)
You: I'm against multimedia content.
2) Person: Truth is......................................................................................... I like you a lot.
You: Truth is................................................................ you read too many Facebook statuses.
3) Person: I love you!
You: Duly noted.
4) Person: I think we should stop pretending and just admit that we're crazy about each other.
You: I wasn't pretending to be batman I actually am him why won't anyone listen to me
5) Person: Kiss me.
You: Ki-ki-kiss me, infect me with your love and fill me with your poison take me.....
6) Person: Will you go out for dinner with me?
You: Yes but let me just bring my poor and hungry family along. We never say no to free food!
7) Person: I'm gonna take you home with me tonight!
You: Alright, but my feng shui skills are less than average, just sayin'/
8) Person: I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
You: *farts* You sure?
9) Person: I promise I will never ever ever ever upset you.
You: Okay Taylor Swift! <3
10) Person: You always know the right words to say to me!
You: That was the alcohol speaking...
11) Person: Hey babe, I want us to get back together.
You: YA CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
12) Person: You smell so nice all the time.
You: Oh so the Swahili boar dung worked?
13) Person: My heart skips a beat every time I see you.
You: I stop my heart from beating every time I see you.
14) Person: Your smile just brightens up my day!
You: I stopped brushing 5 days ago.
15) Person: Can I get you a drink?
You: Yes, I'd like onion juice with garlic cream on top.
16) Person: I have changed, I promise!
You: No you're still wearing that Chick Magnet shirt you wore three days ago.
17) Person: I don't know what I'd do without you.
You: I don't know what to do with you.
18) Person: I think about you all the time.
You: I knoww, I should probably return that money I stole from you.
19) Person: Run away with me.
You: No but I can skip away with you.
Person: Hahahaha. Not funny.
You: Then I'll just skip away from you, meanie.
20) Person: Will you marry me?
You: Wait let me consult my desi parents, cousins, astrologers, aunts, uncles, the hairy hobo who lives outside my neighborhood, the school nurse, the bartender, Ramu the cow, tea leaves, your mailman, your physician, and your ex girlfriend too, just to be sure.
21) Person: We just have so much in common, it's like we are meant to be.
You: We are siblings and were separated at birth, I found out three days ago. It's okay though, I think incest is cool too.
22) Person: I can't live without you.
You: I'm sure there are better doctors in this world!
23) Person: I can't believe you're all mine.
You: I can't believe it either.
24) Person: I love you!
You: I love you too Lyla!
Chad: Who's Lyla wtf.
You: I am.
Chad: What... anyway I'll forget that. I love you!
You: Lylaaa, I love you so much!
25) Person: *hugs you*
You: *scream really loudly in their ear* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
26) Person: I love you!
You: Sorry I didn't hear that! There's a lot of earwax in my ear it seems.... please help me get it out? It's softened a little now that I've been poking it for some time. The doctor said its occurrence has decreased ever since I started using sanitary earbuds instead of that dirty pencil at home. I gave it to you once actually...
Disclaimer: Firstly, heheh I don't expect you to use these dialogues in real life! because some of these are lame and some of these might hurt others. Remember, whoever says these nice things to you, no matter how cheesy they may sound, mean well, so don't be mean to anyone who says "I love you" to you. We should all be very sensitive so if you are sure that you don't want to be sensitive/you know this person won't take it too seriously, it's okay to be a buzzkill. :)
ALSEW, this post reminds me of my epic Fun Insults entry that you must check out, whether or not you are a buzzkill! Also, I love cactus, they don't annoy me one bit. Though they do seem annoyed themselves. Don't you think most cactus look as if they are making some suggestive hand gestures? NOW WHO'S MEAN.
Jk I love all vegetation, good night.
3 comments:
Songbird! these are so cute hahah!
awesome post songbird.. :) loved every bit of it.. don't mind if I do use some of the dialogues used here.. ;)
Anonymous- thanks so much! heheh
Me-er- HAHAH I'd love to hear about how you use them!
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