The old Streams war.

Approximately 18 hours ago, I had a rather pleasing, 3 hours lasting informal debate with my friend on humanities stream vs. science stream. In India, it's like war. 1st-10th grade you fly around on a carpet and drink holy water, and in 11th (but mostly 12th) grade, your carpet tears apart, you fall from the sky, and the holy (now not-so-holy) water rains over you. Yeah, maybe it won't not rain hard on some people. But the ones worst struck (with lightning?) are people like me, who abruptly decide to change schools, change boards, change subjects, and then realize they have practically NOTHING to write in the college essay.

So then you sit and make amends.

Considering the amount of work I'm loaded with, it's a MIRACLE that I can still take time out for blog posts. Miracle why? (b)cos :- (notice the mathematical reference?)

1) PROJECTS
bam
2) EVEN MORE PROJECTS
bam
3) WEEKLY TESTS
bam
4) EXAMS
bam
5) ONLINE WRITERS COURSE THING
bam
6) SAT- long registration process + stu-dying
bam
7) USUAL HOMEWORK
bam
8) EXTRA CLASS/TUITION
bam
9) INTERNSHIPS- registration & searching(?)
bam
10) EXTRA CURRICULARS
bam
11) ETC. BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS MORE.

So, why am I so pissed, you ask? If I haven't made it obvious with that fugly list above, I proudly declare myself a fail writer. I'll put a barf bag over my head and parade with it for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

I am pissed because I missed my bus today and haven't had breakfast even if it's been like 4 hours and I'm sitting in my cramped room with open pages all around me and at least 7 tabs open on 3 windows in my laptop and a trashcan filled with empty refills because I used up all my pens. *breathes* And how did I possibly miss my bus, you ask? Because I'm so terribly sleep deprived because of this work and I actually dream about paper-monsters even while sleeping. So obv, I woke up late. See? There is always a reason.

And if you are a damned sciencee, shaking your head like a piranha on drugs, I'd advice you to wear a helmet before I shove an actual piranha down your throat.

..which brings me to my topic for today..

SCIENCE AND HUMANITIES (AND ALSO COMMERCE) ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.

When you step into the world of juniors and seniors wearing brand new Prada heels, you realize it's too hard to walk on them and trip off your high horse on the first day. I know I use too many metaphors, but I'm sure you can understand. But 11th grade is still fine. After a while, you get used to all those Humanities vs. Science jokes (Humanities is the manual labor of 11th grade), and Commerce just sits there in the good ol' neutrality. But when 12th grade arrives, you get a taste of reality. Unless you're charming and organized and actually have a planned path ahead, you become an average. And trust me, when you want a scholarship, you can't be an average. So you put aside your science/humies woes and start doing stuff.

But JUST when you thought you're psychologically recovering, you are forced to attend a family social gathering where you meet well-dressed adults clinking wine glasses and scrutinizing the nerves of your brain. And they always approach you with the same questions, and before you know it, you realize it's too late to run away, and embrace a conversation that defines 'awkwardness'.

"So, beta, which stream have you taken? Science, right?"
"Um, no, uncle, I have taken Humanities actually.."

http://grist.org/election-2012/crazy-talk-rick-santorum-out-denies-the-climate-deniers-and-spins-eco-conspiracy-theories/attachment/santorum-awkward-expression-flickr-dave_maass/

"Oh." (Snape style) "But.. I mean... are you sure? Did you make your decision wisely?"
"Yes."
"Well.. okay.. But are you sure about your career? What you're going to pursue?"
"Yes, I'm gonna do journalism."
"Well, okay then. Please excuse me. I have to go milk my anaconda"

Now, I'm not saying that all adults are like this. This one uncle unexpectedly turned round the conversation and praised me for taking humanities. There are many people who understand that SCIENCE AND HUMANITIES ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS so why should you even compare in the first place?

So this anger is not directed towards everyone, mind you. It is for those who have had experiences like me and we can sympathize together and fight this out. Yeah, it's funny to joke once in a while ("YOU TOOK HUMANITIES, SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT WORKLOAD!!!"), but it should all be in good spirit.

It is true that as youngsters, 80% of us had difficulty in math and only 20% had difficulties in English. In fact, we chilled the day before an English paper, and started cramming 2 weeks before a Math paper. So obviously because of the amount of memorizing formulas and applying calculations, math and science subjects were considered tougher. I remember in 10th grade how I HATED chemistry, but loved English. A friend of mine who also hated chemistry, pursued Science for the sake of status. When you're a science student, you're a *Science Student!!! :O* but when you're a humanities student, you're well, expected to clean dirt from fossils?

So here is a list educating you on what humanities is actually about. I'm not here to promote inferiority or tell you which stream is the best, but I'm just gonna shower some facts on you, which would guide your opinions and erase any stereotypes.

1) There are no fixed answers in Humanities. When you place a science/math marking scheme on your left and a humanities marking scheme on your right, you notice something. In science, each answer is numbered and there is one specific answer or keyword that you look for. However, in Humanities, there might be a line that says "Should be relevant to the topic". Maybe a few key words, or a sample answer max. There is no fixed answer. You have to think for yourself.

..which brings me to the next point..
2) You can't cram everything. Sure, there are some things that you must memorize, like the characteristics of a Social Institution. But 80% of it is your own reflective thing and analysis. You have to put a lot of thought and do a lot of reflective thinking, and let your creative ideas spill out.

3) There is a LOT to read. You have to have a good vocabulary and a sense of understanding to take Humanities. If you can't read, don't take it. Initially, I never imagined that the books will be so freakin verbose, but then you start reading, and sometimes I'd actually resort to my SAT math in the middle of studying Lionel Robbins, to calm my mind down a little.

4) Humanities (as the name suggests) is about people, and the world, as you know it, is inhabited by people. It goes a long way to be able to understand and analyze people and ideas. It really requires high levels of thinking and forming your own opinions. You have to think deeply about the world around you, about the minds of the people, and the way things are. You have to notice them and form an opinion and have the ability to put it in words. You have to gather information through surveys and observation. And there is no fixed formula, or method, for doing it. You don't get any guidance or DIY manual, you have to figure out yourself what you're gonna do, and how you're gonna do it.

5) Now you may ask "What's the point of thinking so much? How does it help anyway?". When I would get annoyed by analyzing every single prick and piece of a Wordsworth poem, I think to myself if analyzing all these words are even worth anything! But it is. It develops you as a person, as a human being, and as a part of the human race. It helps you understand people, how the thought back then, and how they think now. And practical uses of it, you ask? Advertisement. Businesses need to read the minds of consumers. People read books for fun. People are biased and want opinions. People are curious. When you go to school, don't you gossip more than discussing what the school floor is made of? I'm not nearly comparing an iota of school drama to the big bad world, but let's not forget that studying things about the past help us make inferences and developments for the future.

6) And come on people, have enough brains to realize that humanities is science in a way, it is a social science and involves the scientific method! (Um, hellow, what are mass surveys and aptitude tests supposed to be?) Don't go around bullshitting stuff like there is no practical use of humanities. Look around yourself. Amidst the people wearing lab coats and finding cures for cancer is a teenage girl being sold as sex trafficking. You enter your first day at work at a well-reputed firm, on your way to save the world from swine flu, when your coworker slams against you, hurling you to the ground, and walk past without apologizing. You can either send him for ethics or gender sensitization or sociology classes, but would you make him learn calculus and biology to change his mind about slamming against people without apologizing?

What if everyone relied on science and fixed formulas and never thought it logical to help each other and have opinions? Your family dies in a fire and you spend years mourning, and when you're starved of emotional support, a robot-ish guy approaches you and tells you to drown your pain with some morphine. Or maybe conduct a heart surgery to fix that metaphorical hole in your heart.
When grooms ask for overwhelmingly high dowries for the bride's family to sell their daughters like prostitutes, you don't turn to scientists for a smart way out. You reach someone who will understand your pains and be sensitive towards your decisions, and help you out emotionally.

Okay, I know I have exaggerated, and maybe to an unacceptable and pissing off level, and I apologize sincerely, if that's the case. Please don't take this the wrong way and don't blame me for degrading science. We NEED science and we have reached a long way because of science, because of technology, because of the gorgeous people out there in science clothes accessorized with a bright, technical brain. I understand logic and reason, but you can't always survive by that, right? There is a need for some heart and opinions. Isn't that what differentiates us from robots, and makes us more human? And okay, I know I sound super cheesy and typical humanities types, but I beg you to put aside your ego for once, and try to understand my point.

Ultimately, humanities, science and commerce should not be compared at all! The language of humanities is opinions and the language of science is logic, and eventually, we're not thinking of which one's the best. We're combining all this knowledge to fuel this world and make it a better place. People need to focuz more on their college applications than this sort of prejudice, because omggggg we have college next year, aren't you nervous?!!!
And please, do not be offended in any way; I am NOT criticizing science. I love science and had an A in Physics last year! I'm just mentioning some facts about Humanities because being a humanities student, I obviously know about my subjects, and I just think these stereotypes are quite unfair. Yes, now you may say that hence I would know less about Science, and I'm not denying that, so yes, I'm sure I've had some misconceptions also, and if you notice any, kindly forgive me. And besides, whether you took Psychology or Algebra or truck driving classes, your success would solely depend on your talent in those fields, not the fields themselves. As a human being, it is basic manners to respect people's choices in life. What do you want? Everyone to be exactly as perfect as you?

And to that uncle milking his anaconda, I will have to charge him extra when he comes to me years later seeking a well-read student to write his biography.

Now back to my list of work to be done -.-
Much larv(a)e, (because, tribute to biology?)

A Life Like Pi.

When I declared to my charming friends that I finally watched Life of Pi, roughly 4 months after its release, they were a confetti burst of deceptive sarcasm.

I found the movie inspiring, in an adorable way. The lead was OHSOCUTE:') with subtle humor managed perfectly, though it seemed a bit dragged, for me, nearing the end. Overall, it was great to watch.

Reviews aside, this movie made me wonder.

Approx an hour and a half into the movie, well into the part where the lead is stuck on a boat with a tiger in the middle of the ocean, I began feeling... envious(!) Then I go like Why am I feeling so jealous?!! and my mind retorts You know why, you know it very well. No, it's not like I have some weird obsession with tigers that made me jealous of the lead (who's name is Pi- and I'm not gonna explain how the name originated coz I don't want to be a spoiler for those who haven't watched the movie), and it's not like I was jealous because of something else.

I was jealous because I wanted a life like Pi. Not entirely, but quite entirely so, yes. Just that part.

What's that? I hear you calling me names? *cough*Misanthropist*cough*
                                                                *cough*weirdo*cough*
I shall elaborate, as usual.

Not exactly high resolution, but just look at this picture. Look closely.

I don't know about most people, but when I see this picture, like really see it, I see utopia. It's like my personal escape. Now ignore the fact that I am a terrible swimmer, and I would probably pee myself at the sight of a tiger, but despite the stormy clouds in the sky, I see a place so beautiful, a place where I would want to be.

I know that this is just a movie, but oh how I would love to be alone in the middle of the ocean! Away from reality, away from the busy roads and people judging you everywhere. How nice would it be to have the vast ocean and the life boat all to yourself, screaming and doing whatever the hell you want, and not giving a crap about what others think. Away from awkwardness of socializing, away from people who piss you off, away from smoke coming out of cars, away from schoolwork. I wouldn't have to check myself in the mirror 50 times a day, or be formal and fake-nice to people, and put my show clothes on and perform my best. There would be no people to order me around, telling me what's right and what's wrong, how I shouldn't be and how I should be. I can laugh as loudly as I want, and cry as loudly as I need. There is no need to keep a straight face when I simply can't. When I get bored, I can float around and catch fish. I can scream and sing to myself all I want. I can openly criticize and hate on people without worrying about them hearing it. And most importantly, I can be myself. Away from self consciousness, away from tolerating people, away from worrying what others think, away from keeping up a good image for others to observe. freedom of thought, speech, actions, expression.

I'll just have to worry about the tiger. And sometimes, tigers seem almost less harmful than humans.

And when I get sea-sick, I can just throw up into the sea, without having to say 'excuse me' or apologize for ruining someone's shoes. When I crave company, I can just cuddle up to the tiger, and have conversations with him. At least he would listen. And even if he may try to say something mean, it will only come out as a roar, which I wouldn't be able to decipher.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love people and I can't live even a day without my phone or laptop, but aren't people like me the most vulnerable these days? Vulnerable to a total breakdown and brain dead-ness. Vulnerable to craving something different. The desire grows within you, until someday, sometime, you just have to run away and scream and shout and slap yourself around 10 times to remove that plastic off your face. You have to chew on hay to get rid of that fake smile you have been putting up, tolerating people and being nice for others to see. You have to pull your hair out and mess it up to shake the glitter out and punch your legs to let you begin your runaway to freedom. You have to squint your eyes a little at the sun, because you have been in the darkness of buildings and fake-lighting for a while now. You have to skip an octave or two to regain your normal voice. You have to rip your tight clothes a bit and throw away your shoes to be more comfortable. You have to roll in mud to remove that make up, and slam your head into a puddle of water to wash away all those thoughts and heavy-headed-ness and you need the reflection of clear water to see the real you, after removing all the civilization out of it.

And trust me, I have felt this feeling so many times. Pretty much during every social gathering. And even if I may be home with my favorite friends, there is still a lot more I want to do. But despite being a natural rebel, I obviously can't let every urge in me to take over my rationality, right? Otherwise I may just end up being a foolish inmate washing jail dishes my whole life. Or something similar.

So Pi, I envy you for that. I envy that you got a chance to be with yourself, just you, and the deep vast blue, and a tiger who can hurt you only physically, which is much better than being scarred emotionally. Of course, the context is different. You ended up on a lifeboat after a traumatic incident, and live the life of a refugee, but isn't that what made you even more reflective like the water that surrounds you? You ate sea-weed and ramshackled your brain with the fear of that carnivore, but you were alone, guided by your own thoughts. You had the freedom to think and feel and express! How often do you get this kind of freedom these days?! Yes, I probably wouldn't last a day in your situation, and die before reaching a presence of mind to actually enjoy the ocean. And it's not like I would want a life like that forever, but that desire still lives within me, hoping for a similar situation.

Side thought- Nirbhaya, the Delhi gang rape victim who died a terrible death, faced her battle for life with courage and strength. That's how she got the name Nirbhaya (which means 'no fear' in Hindi). She was raped after she boarded a bus with her boyfriend, after a movie-date with him. They had watched Life of Pi.
And Life of Pi=strength, courage, determination, inspiration. While Nirbhaya was being raped, through all that pain, she had the presence of  mind to notice the names of the rapists, and once rescued, she still fought courageously, and had a very very strong mind. 

Maybe, just maybe, the movie inspired her a little. And this is the part where I emphasize the fact that sometimes, tigers are less harmful than humans. 

I like pie.

Actually I have never had pie before. Maybe I've had some version of a pie? But I have never touched a pie in my entire life. I probably should eat pie sometime. I think it's cool to tell white lies. Sometimes.

Okay, just ignore all that, I just couldn't think of an interesting title.

The weather has been mood swinging; One day it's super hot, the next day the wind blows the color from your face, the third day it rains, and the fourth day the sky falls from the sky. Re-wind and rep-eat.
Similarly, my mood has also been mood swingin'. I guess I'm like secretly synchronized to the weather or something. Maybe the weather is like my secret puppet operator, and maybe I'm just a puppet responding to the weather. Or maybe I'm just a humbug who hasn't had pie before.

Anyhoo, it is at times like this that being awarded makes everything normal again. Thank you Ajay for being so awesome and giving me the honor of...

THE CREATIVE BLOGGER AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Oh my, isn't that a pretty picture?!)

OH YE-A-A-AA! I got this award, because (and I quote): "Creative in the sense of their writing and their presentation of ideas so beautifully and creatively" *blushes*

1. Thank the Blogger and link back to the blog.
2.a. Three things about yourself.
   b. Two things people don't know about you.
   c. One thing you want to change about yourself.
3. Answer the questions asked by the blogger.
4. Nominate this award to deserving blogs. Pass it on.
5. Ask some questions to the bloggers who got nominated.
6. Inform the bloggers about their award.

So, here we gooo.

1) So I take this opportunity to thank an awesome blogger/photographer, Ajay Kontham. You will find him at The Shaded Shadows™ !!! and you should all check out his awesome blog and hopelessly wish for any kind of award that he might just give you out of sheer kindness :P

2) a) 1) It takes time for me to open up to people. I let very selected few into my life, and I rarely speak openly to people other than my friends. This is bad in the sense that it takes time for me to adapt and get used to changes, but I guess this is also good because it helps me be picky and keep the people who matter the most, closest to me.
2) I love charity. I love helping out and doing charity work and giving advice. I know this point may seem kind of contradictory to the first point, but you must understand the difference between opening up to people, and being friendly. I can be friendly to people and lend them my pencil, but I may not open up to them and tell them more about my life.
3) I appreciate differences. We're all different human beings, and have different minds. Being shifted around different schools and places throughout my life, and having interacted with people from different races, ages, personalities, religions and backgrounds have really helped me be open-minded.

2) b) 1) I HATE being sympathized upon. There is nothing I hate more than that. Really. It disgusts me when people try to befriend me or talk to me or do me favors for me just because they feel bad for me, for whatever reason. It is really the worst feeling for me. There is a difference between talking to someone out of sympathy and talking to someone because you genuinely want to. On the other hand, I may sympathize, or even show empathy towards people, but if someone feels the same about this, I would leave them alone.
2) I can not stand the smell of petrol. I know a lot of people who do, but that smell literally makes me sick. That's why you may find me holding my breath at gas stations. Also, I have this weird OCD thing, I feel weird (the bad weird) when I see people rubbing their fingers against a silk cloth. It's really weird, but yeah. :S

2) c) I would change my body language. A lot of people have told me that I should stand straight, because I have had this really bad habit of slouching since 8th grade, and though people allege that I have improved drastically, there are still some remains I need to get rid of. I have also been told that I look shy, even if I may not be. So yeah, I need to work on that.

3) Yayy, questions!!


What is the one word that comes to your mind when you hear the following words/phrases? (Make it like a rapid fire round - Mention the first word that strikes you! And if you make if fast, it would be cool.)

a. World- Huge
b. Life- A tunnel with different colored walls with different designs at different intervals and for different time periods (I'm sorry this wasn't the 'word' you were looking for, but I really had just had to! :( )
c. Awards- YAYYY
d. School- Students
e. Love- Depth
f. Books- Adorable yellowing pages (I'm sorry, needed the phrase)
g. Death- Fear
h. Work- Opportunities
i. Sports- The whistle that PE teachers blow
j. (Your Name)- Emotions
k. Dog-Pointy teeth
l. Parents- Sacrifices
m. My Blog- 300 posts :P
n. Chocolates- Blessings!
o. Me/The Author/Ajay- Super friendly!!!

That was so much fun! Haha, and I'm sorry again if some of them are not single words. I really wanted to speak out over here :P

4) Can I nominate the blogger who nominated me also? :P
Ughh. This is so hard. I don't have many members eitherrr.

Skinny love for being so amazing with fashion and everything.
Spill beans for the most interesting and inspirational life stories.
the creation of beauty is art. for proving that the creation of beauty is art indeed.
the silence of the lambs for the deepest thoughts and truths.
Butterflies and Hurricanes for the most beautiful language and insights.

But again, I can never nominate enough people. Everybody has a creative side of their own, whether you blog or don't blog. I know now I'm being all "LIFE IS SO RAINBOWS AND UNICORNSSS!!! XOXO" types, but it's the truth, what to do!

5) Okay, now I have to ask some questions to the bloggers who got nominated. (I feel sorry for you guys already :P )
I would willingly be as cool as Ajay and make a rapid fire round myself, but I don't want to plagiarize and steal from his copyrighted mind :P But I'll still try to make this interesting..

1) Come up with the wackiest sentence/word/phrase imaginable. It doesn't have to make sense.
2) What is your favorite sock color?
3) Would you travel back in time, or travel forward in time? (assume you have this kickass time machine)
4) How are you feeling, at the moment?

6) Okay.

Once again, thank you so much Ajay, for letting me be a part of this fun activity, and also giving me the honor of this award!!! I really enjoyed this because this is much shorter and less time consuming than others (always a plus :P ) and the rapid fire was damn interesting! And thank you everyone who read this!

In the meantime, the weather continues mood swinging outside, and a leaf just slammed against my window, I think. I just hope it will soon be summerr :/ I still need to eat pie.

See ya later, alligator(s).