I bought a packet of Lays chips yesterday because I was travelling and needed a quick snack. .
So there I was, walking to the vendor, a bulgy-eyed man who protected himself from the junk food he sold by secretly eating some, and sweating out the rest of the oil. I approached him as he was mid-drinking a pail of Dihydrogen Monoxide, cleared my throat so he'd acknowledge my presence, and looked around for something edible. Now, this was a railway station in a small town, so there wasn't much of the variety found in your regular gourmet menu. So I grabbed a packet of yellow Lays Chips (even if my favorite flavor is the blue one- India's Magic Masala), paid my 20 rupees and headed to the train.
As the train snored on lazily in the afternoon sun, I decided to wait for sometime then open my packet of chips. By then I was starving, and the kind guy next to me did not offer me any of his aloo poori. SO I opened the packet and dumped my hand in, without further ado. The hand came out covered in salt and nitrogen, and not to mention, disappointment.
Expectation Reality
You know the whole behind of any packaged item that has a bunch of stuff written that no one really bothers to read? I think there's something like "send your concerns/comments at ___________". I mean, there should be. If I would've had the presence of mind to preserve the packet after filling 3% of my intestine with its sparse contents, instead of throwing the packet away, I would have been facing a Lays producer right now.
Why? Because I'm pissed!
Most packaged items (in India at least) are duping the various consumers by giving them less than half of what they paid for! I'm sure even the cows in India are suffering from this frugality. It won't be long before these retailers will begin charging them for grass! Lays, for example-
A five rupee packet of Lays chips has 4 chips inside.
A ten rupees packet of Lays chips has 8 chips inside.
And a twenty rupees packet of Lays chips has around 14 inside.
I know because I actually counted. Well once. But I did count. It was like last year, but still. This counts.
Soooo Lays India, please do something. Because:
1) I've always had Lays. Kurkure is too heavy, Uncle Chips is too texture-y, Pringles come in annoying cans, and other brands are not that amazing, that's why I can't think of them.
2) Lays is advertised by Saif Ali Khan. He's hot and makes me want to consume Lays.
3) It's available everywhere. Even in random street shops in the middle of Phoosvarbaad (is there a place like that? I just made it up..) where people have to make holes on dams to drink some water, you'll find Lays.
4) I love Magic Masala. And no other brand can copy the same taste successfully.
5) You have come up with these new "share packs" but I can't share the chips with anyone anymore because it has barely anything for one person.
6) People eat more these days.
7) Even if I did mention that I find Lays superior than other brands, don't forget that these brands are your competition (esp Uncle Chips, I have a feeling), so yeah. I might just switch to them.
8) Okay if you're thinking about things like "we are contributing to decreasing obesity!" or "people are more health conscious these days", you're probably right. But no, not really. Like, I'm sure people would still love to eat a packetful of Lays chips during an intense workout. So go die.
9) In answer to the previous statement- you already are trying to help people with Baked Lays (it tastes horrible, imo btw sry). So yeah, stop worrying about aiding to cure obesity.
10) We are PAYING. You Lays people are already quite rich. I'm sure putting a few extra chips in a pack won't give you tremendous losses, unless your 'losses' are happy customers.
I'm raising my voice to end this frugality.... this food corruption! In the spirit of India being controlled by a brand new Prime Minister and all, I post this entry! (moment of patriotism). Okay that was a bit too much.
Anyhoo, Lays please change your game. Not that you'd read this entry, but you know, someone might be kind enough to ease this annoyance of mine (and many).
Notes:
PS- I know this whole entry is primarily about Lays, but I'm not solely targeting the company. I have said some virtues about Lays too, and I think Lays is pretty awesome, other than this small shortcoming.
This blog is for entertainment and communication purposes. No feelings were intended to be hurt.
This entry is based on my personal opinion. You may love Lays and devour it without any complaint, and that is wonderful! so don't feel the need to agree with me- that is solely up to you.
Also, kudos to Kurkure. All these years and never ever has Kurkure been disappointing in terms of quantity and I truly appreciate it.
Even if I have mentioned other brands, please note that nothing insensitive was intended. All junk food brands are wonderful. All food is wonderful.
No discrimination was intended against cows because well, I know that I mention cows repeatedly.
^Probably the longest acknowledgement I have ever included.
Much gluttony & health,
